Many of you know and love this teaching from Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh
he writes that 'When the crowded Vietnamese refugee boats met with storms
or pirates, if everyone panicked all would be lost; but if even one person on the boat
remained calm and centered, it was enough, it showed the way
for everyone to survive.'
What I'd like to reflect on tonight is what it means to face
a pandemic, a time of really widespread fear, with a compassionate heart
and what comes up in me, just to name it, is this very real mix of a fear
I feel grief, my heart's anticipating real loss, there's a rawness, there's a tenderness
and with all that is also a sense of possibility
the possibility that this suffering, and it's so deep and so wide, will wake up our hearts
in the collective way. And I'd like to name that these are times, when there is real
danger around us, that we actually go on hyper drive with worry
and the challenge, as we know, is that fear when it takes over causes a tremendous
amount of suffering and in a pandemic it's contagious; so it can become
widespread and it becomes one of the greatest dangers of a pandemic.
So again that question: can we be that person in the boat, who feels the intelligence of the fear
but knows how to hold it with mindfulness and with compassion
because this is where the training in mindfulness comes in and we're going to explore it
bringing RAIN, which is a weave of mindfulness and compassion,
to fear.
[bells]
Take a moment if you will to adjust how you're sitting if that's helpful
and to take a few full breaths
and you might scan and sense whatever might be going on in your life
it may be pandemic-related or other, it might be bringing up
some form of fear and I want to make clear this is not a time to bring up
a traumatic kind of fear or panic practice with something that doesn't feel
overwhelming to you right now
and as you bring to mind whatever circumstances bring up fear
just to make it more immediate, just visualize
whatever it is - if it involves another person, see that person
what's going on for them; if it involves you, just see the setting that most might
in your mind relate to or associate with the fear;
if there's something being spoken that brings up fear,
something you're visualizing in the future
And begin the practice of RAIN,
recognizing whatever is most predominant; maybe that you mentally whisper
the word 'worried' or 'angry' or 'fearful',
'anxious', 'tight'
whatever is predominant.
And then let your intention be to allow,
that means a willingness to pause with what is here
so that wisdom in you just says: 'Let be, this belongs
this is a natural part of life, a wave in the ocean.'
And if you can allow even for some moments, that enables you to begin to investigate,
the I of RAIN; and you might notice where you feel this in your body
is it your throat, your chest, your belly?
Sometimes with investigating you can ask yourself: 'What am I
believing, what am I anticipating?'
And whatever comes up, then find out how your body experiences that
if you're believing something bad is gonna happen to you, that you're going to lose something precious
what's that like to feel in your body? So again, feeling
the throat, chest, the belly, the center line of your body
and you might find it helpful to put your hand wherever you can sense fear
and for some, because so many of us are dissociated from our body,
it can be very vague and that's okay, sense that you're inviting
whatever wants to be accepted and included into awareness
just invite the fear to be felt.
Breathing with whatever vulnerability you're contacting
and with some interest and gentleness: what does it feel like?
How is fear living in this body right now?
Perhaps you can breathe with it and feel right to the epicenter
whatever you're experiencing as you investigate, to again allow it to be there
a kind of surrendering presence, no resistance
then with an intimate attention you might ask the vulnerable part of you:
'how do you want me to be with you, what do you most need right now?'
And sense that you can listen from the most awake, wise part of your Being
from your awake heart: what does this place most need?
Is it love? Is it pure acceptance or forgiveness?
To feel embraced?
And sense that your awake heart can offer what's needed
in a very direct and intimate and immediate way
just washing through and bathing that vulnerable place
with some quality of tender presence, of love, of compassion
And if for you it's easier to imagine that compassion and love
coming from another source, from a loved one that you trust
who's wise and you know cares about you or from
a spiritual figure or from a formless loving presence just imagine
and feel and sense that love pouring in
let your deepest intention be to let that vulnerable place feel loved
washed and bathed in love
You might imagine light, warmth, a wash of tenderness
become aware of the quality of presence that's here
let yourself relax open to the rest and be that presence
that open tender presence
notice the difference between being identified as a fearful or agitated self
and the spaciousness and openness and freedom of loving presence
and as you're ready, taking a few full breaths...
So here we are, we're in the midst of this huge unprecedented uncertainty and reactivity and
fear and confusion and a lot more... In a way, we've been training for this
each of us in our own ways, we've been training how to open more in our personal life
to the joys and the sorrows, to the fears, to the losses
with an awake heart; we've been training. So if you're intentional
right at this juncture and time, if you're intentional
how you want to move through this, the suffering that arises
can turn you towards your deepest resources.
Can we be that person in the boat, who
feels the intelligence of the fear but knows how to hold it, with mindfulness and with compassion?
May this suffering awaken this heart and all hearts; may
may it help make love go viral.
[bells]