>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY!
IF YOU'RE JUST JOINING US RIGHT NOW, WE'RE HONORED TO BE JOINED
BY THE GREAT RON BURGUNDY.
IN YOUR OPINION -- >> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: -- AND OBVIOUSLY KEEP IN MIND THAT WHEN YOU
ANSWER, THIS IS THE ANSWER.
>> YOU CAN'T REAL IT BACK IN.
>> Stephen: YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WHEN YOU POINT THAT
THING BECAUSE WHEN YOU SAY IT PEOPLE LISTEN.
WHAT'S THE BIGGEST STORY OF 2019 TO YOU?
>> 2019?
RON BURGUNDY BEING ON THE STEPHEN COLBERT SHOW.
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) NO, NO, THAT WAS CHEAP.
THAT WAS CHEMO.
NO -- THAT WAS CHEAP.
SNOW, THE BIGGEST STORY OF 2019 AND I WILL GO ON THE RECORD AS
SAYING THE FERRIS BUELLER REPORT.
( LAUGHTER ) LOOK, NO COLLUSION, DEFINITELY
NO OBSTRUCTION, BUT THE FACT YOU SELECT A FICTIONAL MOVIE
CHARACTER TO INVESTIGATE THE PRESIDENT IS WAY BEYOND MY PAY
GRADE.
AND I'M STILL CURIOUS, WAS IT MATTHEW BRODERICK PLAYING FERRIS
BUELLER WHO CONDUCTED THE INVESTIGATION?
JUST SOMEONE WHO SAID HIS NAME WAS FERRIS BUELLER?
WE'LL NEVER KNOW.
BUT THE BUELLER REPORT WILL GO DOWN AS ONE OF THE MORE FAMOUS
DOCUMENTS IN HISTORY.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SURE.
THAT AND THE DEATH OF GRUMPY ACCOUNT, PROBABLY TWO OF MY
FAVORITE 2019 STORIES.
>> Stephen: DID YOU EVER INTERVIEW GRUMPY CAT?
>> I COULDN'T.
I TRIED.
THEY WOULDN'T LET ME CLOSE BECAUSE OF MY DOG BAXTER.
>> Stephen: HOW IS BAXTER?
BAXTER -- IS GREAT.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: YOU HAD TO THINK
ABOUT THAT.
>> I HAD TO THINK.
>> Stephen: BAXTER IS HOW OLD NOW, RON?
>> BAXTER IS A REAL MARVEL OF MODERN SCIENCE AND MEDICINE.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WE FIRST SAW
BAXTER 1972, '73.
>> YES.
>> Stephen: SO THAT WOULD BE 47 YEARS.
AND HOW OLD WAS BAXTER THEN WHEN WE MET HIM?
>> HE WAS 15 THEN.
>> Stephen: SO 62 YEARS OLD.
IXTY-TWO YEARS YOUNG.
>> Stephen: THANK YOU.
SO IN HUMAN YEARS -- >> TIMES THAT BY 7.
>> Stephen: IT CAN'T BE DONE.
434.
>> Stephen: I DON'T THINK SO.
NO?
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: I DON'T THINK SO.
7 TIMES 2, SO 4 -- >> Stephen: NO.
DOESN'T MATTER, HE'S OLD.
>> Stephen: WHAT'S, IF YOU DON'T MIND ME ASKING, WHAT'S THE
MOST DANGEROUS STORY THAT YOU EVER COVERED?
>> THE MOST DANGEROUS STORY I EVER COVERED --
>> Stephen: BECAUSE YOU MUST HAVE PUT YOURSELF ON THE LINE.
>> BUZZ THE VIETNAM WAR.
>> Stephen: YOU COVERED THE VIETNAM WAR?
>> WELL, I DID FROM BEHIND MY DESK AT THE NEWS STUDIO
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: WAS THAT DANGEROUS
FOR YOU?
>> WELL, IT WAS JUST A DANGEROUS TIME.
AND THERE WERE SPIES EVERYWHERE.
A LOT OF SPIES.
>> Stephen: SPYING ON -- I TURNED IN A LOT OF
VIETNAMESE SPICE TO THE F.B.I.
LATER I TOLD IT WAS WHAT IS CALLED RACIAL PROFILING, AND
YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO THAT.
>> Stephen: THAT IS FROWNED ON.
BUT THAT WAS A DIFFERENT TIME.
>> A DIFFERENT TIME.
STILL NOT THE RIGHT THING TO DO.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
BUT I ADMIT MY MISTAKES.
>> Stephen: AS A JOURNALIST WHO KNOWS YOU HAVE TO COME BACK
WITH A STORY, THAT'S YOUR JOB, YOU'RE A HUNTER.
>> SURE.
AND SOMETIMES YOU'RE BEING HUNTED.
>> Stephen: RIGHT.
( LAUGHTER ) HOW SO?
>> WELL, PEOPLE DON'T LIKE NEWS PEOPLE, FOR THE MOST PART.
>> Stephen: BECAUSE WHEN SHE SHOW UP WITH THE CAMERAS, WHAT
DID I DO WRONG?
>> RIGHT.
>> Stephen: DID YOU EVER AND WOULD YOU EVER SLEEP WITH A
SUBJECT TO GET AN INTERVIEW?
>> WELL -- ( LAUGHTER )
-- HERE'S THE THING -- IT IS COMPLETELY UNETHICAL, IT IS
ABUSE OF POWER, BUT, YES, I DID IT.
( LAUGHTER ) ABOUT 15 TIMES.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: MM-HMM.
BUT, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES -- I MEAN, TOM BROKAW, HE SLEPT WITH
MARGARET THATCHER TO GET MORE INFO ON THE FALKLAND ISLANDS
WAR.
>> Stephen: REALLY?!
HE DIDN'T GET A PEEP OUT OF HER.
>> Stephen: HE SLEPT WITH HER AND DIDN'T GET THE STORY?
>> DIDN'T GET ONE PIECE OF INFORMATION ABOUT THE FALKLAND
ISLANDS.
>> Stephen: WOW.
HE ALSO SAID SHE WAS A BENGAL TIGER IN THE SACK.
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: SADLY, WE HAVE TO
TAKE ANOTHER BREAK.
PLEASE DON'T GO AWAY.
WE'LL BE BACK WITH MORE OF MR. RON BURGUNDY!