- Okay! Fellow children,
let's pick teams!
- Line up everyone we're team captains, okay?
- Please! Don't pick me last.
I'll take, I'll take second to last.
Just not last this time.
- Okay!
Uh, let's see, I'll take,
Jason.
- Aight! Clap it up.
- Ah, I'll take Jason with the "Y".
- Oh! Yeah!
- Diamond.
- I don't even like sports.
- Ah, Corona?
(Corona coughs)
- Uh, C.O. bond?
- It's Shivan!
- I got hooked on phonics.
Okay. C-O bond.
I know how to say your name.
- Gosh, I'm going to murder this kid one day.
- Booker T. Washington, get over here!
- That's me Booker T.
- Sergio Vichy.
Bobson.
Billium.
Fox.
- My name is facts, actually,
- I'll take,
Jackson.
- Ah, ah, ah,
contractually, obligated to say the full name.
(heavy sigh)
- Jackson brought to you by Verizon.
- There you go.
- Junior, junior, the third.
- What?
- Girl who thinks she's a cat
and I don't even remember your name.
(meow meow)
- I got passed over for cat girl.
- Chang!
- My name's Craig.
- Why did I think your name was Chang?
- I don't know.
- The twins.
Easton and Weston.
- You can't take two people in one turn.
- But they're twins, they're like one person.
- Okay! Fair enough.
Uh, I'll take the random grown man who just walked in
off the street.
- Now it's just down to me and cry baby, Carl.
The guy who everyone hates.
Even the teachers.
You guys, you gotta pick me.
- Um, okay
Ah!
I will take,
(school playground sound)
- Come on!
I'm right here, please!
- Cry baby, Carl.
- Wow!
- No, I don't want to be pig.
(sighs)
- Okay, great.
well, it looks like I'm on your team.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
- Uh, I am the last one.
Therefore I am on your team.
- But I didn't pick you.
- I am the only one left.
You have to pick me.
- You'll make an uneven number of players.
- No I won't!
- The twins count as one person.
Duh!
- Cry baby, Carl doesn't even want to play.
- Yeah, but we picked him.
So.
- Dude! We don't want you here, okay?
Be gone!
- Okay.
I'll go off on my own and I'll play
by myself and I'll have more fun
than if I was playing this stupid game
with all of you ding dogs.
And one day y'all are going to be begging
to be on my team.
But guess what?
I'm not going to pick any of you.
(jazz music)