IT IS TIME TO PLAY STAR WORDS!
(CHEERING, WHOOPING)
A LONG TIME AGO, IN A GALAXY NEAR SAN FRANCISCO, GEORGE LUCAS
INVENTED A WAR THAT HAPPENED IN THE STARS.
SIX BLOCKBUSTER MOVIES AND MILLIONS OF FANS LATER, WE STILL
HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THE HELL R2-D2 WAS SAYING, SO IN ANTICIPATION
OF THE FIRST-EVER DIGITAL RELEASE OF THE STAR WARS
FRANCHISE ON FRIDAY, APRIL 10, WE HAVE BEEN GIVEN A UNIQUE
OPPORTUNITY-- WE ARE FINALLY GONNA FIND OUT WHAT R2 WAS
SAYING.
TO HELP US WITH THIS SEEMINGLY INSURMOUNTABLE TASK, PLEASE
WELCOME, ALL THE WAY FROM THE FOREST MOON OF ENDOR, THE
GALAXY'S MOST DECORATED ASTROMECH DROID, R2-D2!
>> YEAH.
>> HARDWICK: YES, THANK YOU.
RIGHT HERE.
>> YEAH.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH.
>> YEAH!
>> HARDWICK: THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR JOINING US, R2.
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: YOU ARE TOO MUCH.
YOU KNOW, UH... I HOPE YOUR FLIGHT WAS OKAY.
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: THEY LOST YOUR
LUGGAGE?
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.
WELL, UH...
THIS IS HOW THIS GAME'S GONNA WORK-- COMEDIANS, I AM GONNA
SHOW YOU AN EASILY-LICENSED STILL FROM THE NEW DIGITAL
RELEASE OF STAR WARS...
AND YOUR JOB IS TO TELL THE AUDIENCE AT HOME WHAT YOU THINK
R2 WAS ACTUALLY SAYING DURING THAT SCENE.
ALL RIGHT, R2, YOU GOOD?
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: OKAY, GOOD.
I DON'T THINK ANY OF THEM ARE PROTOCOL DROIDS.
UH...
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: WELL, THEY'RE GONNA
HAVE TO TRY THEIR BEST.
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: TAKE IT DOWN A
NOTCH.
ALL RIGHT, IF R2 LIKES YOUR ANSWERS, THEN YOU'RE GONNA GET
POINTS: >> (CHIRPY BEEPING)
>> HARDWICK: IF HE DOES NOT LIKE YOUR ANSWERS, YOU'RE GONNA GET
NO POINTS.
>> (WHINING BEEP) >> HARDWICK: SO SAD.
SO SAD.
>> IT IS SO CUTE.
>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT, I KNOW THIS IS THE BIGGEST CELEBRITY
YOU GUYS HAVE EVER MET AND I'M SURE YOU'RE GONNA BE NERVOUS.
LET'S BEGIN.
FIRST UP, R2 STARES OUT THE WINDOW AT THE END OF "EMPIRE".
(BELL DINGS) WHAT WAS R2 SAYING IN THIS
SCENE, MATT MCCARTHY?
>> DUDE, BACK UP, THAT'S YOUR SISTER.
>> THAT WAS GOOD.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS TO MATT
MCCARTHY.
UH, JAMIE.
>> 'TWAS THE NIGHT BEFORE COMIC-CON.
>> HARDWICK: MM-HMM.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.
>> OH, THANK YOU.
>> HARDWICK: HERE WE HAVE HAN SOLO SURRENDERING THE... TO THE
IMPERIAL TROOPS ON THE MOON OF ENDOR, RIGHT THERE.
(BELL DINGS) UH, WHAT'S R2 SAYING, MATT
MCCARTHY?
>> UH, REMEMBER WHEN THIS GUY CRASHED THE MILLENNIUM FALCON ON
A GOLF COURSE?
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: YEAH, POINTS.
JAMIE.
>> UH, THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND WAVE 'EM LIKE YOU JUST
DON'T CARE THAT YOU'RE WEARING A TINY LITTLE VEST.
IT'S SO LITTLE.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS, POINTS.
>> THANK YOU.
>> HARDWICK: NEXT UP, R2 WATCHES AS LUKE PRACTICES HANDSTANDS.
WHAT'S HE SAYING?
(BELL DINGS) MATT.
>> IS ANYONE PLANNING ON CLEANING ME?
I'M VERY EXPENSIVE.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS.
R2 POINTS.
JAMIE.
>> UH, LET ME KNOW IF ANY LUNCH MONEY SHAKES OUT OF THOSE
POCKETS, 'CAUSE MAMA'S CRAVING A TWIX.
>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS.
PETE HOLMES.
>> YEAH, YEAH, THAT'S NICE.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS.
NEXT UP, WE HAVE R2 BACK ON TATOOINE WITH MR. AND MRS.
SKY-VADER, UH, RIGHT THERE.
(BELL DINGS) MATT.
>> DO YOU THINK WE CAN FIND SOME SHADE?
I'M R2-D2, NOT SPF 100.
>> HARDWICK: HOW ABOUT THAT?
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS FROM R2.
UH, JAMIE.
>> GUYS, I SWEAR WE PARKED IN P5.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: POINTS FROM R2.
PETE.
>> OOH, THEY'RE LOOKING GOOD.
THIS THIRD WHEEL IS NOT A FOOT.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: OH, POINTS.
>> OH, WOW.
>> HARDWICK: AND LASTLY BUT NOT LEASTLY, WE HAVE A PHOTO OF R2
WITH THE D-O-DOUBLE-G HIMSELF.
(BELL DINGS) MATT.
>> WE SHOULD TOTALLY START A PODCAST TOGETHER.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: YES.
PETE.
>> SNOOP, I AM YOUR FATHER.
>> (CHIRPY BEEPING) >> HARDWICK: YOU GOT POINTS,
THERE.
>> YEAH.
>> HARDWICK: YOU GUYS DID VERY WELL-- NO ONE GOT NO POINTS THIS
ENTIRE ROUND, I WAS VERY HAPPY.
EVERYONE DID-DID A GREAT JOB.
>> I KNEW HE'D LIKE ME, I'M-I'M C-3PETE HOLMES.
>> HARDWICK: UH...
>> (WHINING BEEP) >> HARDWICK: OH, PETE.
>> R2.
>> LOOK HOW DISAPPOINTED HE IS.
>> HARDWICK: YEAH, MAN, I'M SICK OF HIS BULL[BLEEP], TOO.
YOU'RE THE FIRST PERSON TO HAVE THE COURAGE TO SAY IT, R2.
>> SHOW US THE HOLOGRAM OF TUPAC.
>> (BEEPS) >> HARDWICK: THAT DOES IT FOR
STAR WORDS.
DON'T FORGET TO DOWNLOAD THE STAR WARS DIGITAL MOVIE
COLLECTION-- IT'S AVAILABLE RIGHT NOW.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, PLEASE HELP ME THANK R2-D2!
YAY!
AMAZING.
BYE, R2.