- HEY, HEY, HEY, ALL RIGHT. - HEY.
- HI, SWEETIE, THAT'S FOR YOU.
- HEY, TRACE. HOW YOU DOING, GIRL?
- CHECK IT OUT. - OH, MY.
- GIRL, I GOT A SUNKEN TUB. YOU GOT TO SEE IT.
- OH, I GOT TO SEE THIS. - ALL RIGHT.
- YOU TWO HAVE A GOOD TIME NOW.
- HAVE FUN, HAVE FUN. [door closes]
DUDE, I AM SORRY WE'RE LATE, MAN.
- MAN, IT HAPPENS, MAN.
- AND SHE TALK ABOUT HOW WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE CAR
AT 6:45, I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT."
- UH-OH.
- TELL ME MY DUMB ASS AIN'T SITTING IN THE CAR,
WAITING UNTIL 7:15.
- NUH-UH.
- OKAY, WHEN I TRACK MY WIFE DOWN 20 MINUTES LATER,
SHE'S STEPPING OUT THE DAMN SHOWER TALKING ABOUT,
"CAN I HELP YOU?"
- SEE, THAT'S CRAZY RIGHT THERE.
- I LOOKED THIS WOMAN IN THE EYE, I SAID,
"BITCH, YOU TOLD ME 6:45."
- YOU SAID THAT?
- PSH, YEAH I SAID--
"BITCH." THEN I LAID IT OUT.
- BUT YOU SAID, "BITCH," THOUGH?
- HMM?
- YOU SAID, "BITCH"?
- YEAH.
- YOU GOT TO SEE THE FIREPLACE DOWNSTAIRS IN THE LIVING ROOM.
- OKAY.
- DON'T PLAY GAMES, MAN.
JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU'RE GOING TO TELL ME.
- EXACTLY, IT'S LIKE, SAY WHAT YOU MEAN,
MEAN WHAT YOU SAY. - IS THAT SO HARD?
- IT'S LIKE LAST WEEK, MAN.
WE GOING OUT TO DINNER, RIGHT?
I'M LIKE, "WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?"
SHE'S LIKE, "YOU DECIDE." - UH-OH.
- I'M LIKE, "ALL RIGHT, OUTBACK STEAKHOUSE."
SHE LIKE, "NAH." - MM-HMM.
- I'M LIKE, "STRAIGHT UP, CHILI'S."
SHE'S LIKE, "EHH." - NO, NO.
- DARRELL, I NAMED SEVEN MORE RESTAURANTS.
- NO, CRAIG, NO.
- I FINALLY SAID, "TAYLOR'S," THE PLACE I KNOW
SHE WANTS TO GO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
- RIGHT, RIGHT.
- SHE LOOK AT ME, SHE SAID,
"IF THAT'S WHERE YOU WANT TO GO."
- NO, SHE DIDN'T, CRAIG.
- IF THAT'S WHERE I WANT TO GO.
DARRELL, I LOOKED MY WOMAN IN THE EYE SOCKETS.
I TOLD HER STRAIGHT OUT, I JUST SAID IT, MAN, I SAID IT.
I SAID, I SAID, I SAID--
I SAID, "BI..." - HEY, GUYS.
- HEY GIRL, HOW YOU DOING? - OH, HOW YOU DOING?
- YOU HAVING A GOOD TIME?
- YOU SEEN THE BEDROOM? - JUST LOOKING AT THE WOOD.
- THAT WASHING MACHINE IS HUGE. - UP ON THE CEILING HERE.
- YOU GET A WHOLE BUNCH OF CLOTHES IN THAT WASHING MACHINE.
- HEY, BABY, I'M GOING TO TAKE HER BACK UP TO THE KITCHEN
AND SHOW HER THE DISHWASHER.
- DARRELL? - YEAH, BABY?
- I WANT A KITCHEN ISLAND JUST LIKE THE ONE UPSTAIRS.
- YOU GONNA GET IT TOO.
- I LOVE YOU.
- I SAID, "BITCH, IF YOU WANTED TO GO TO TAYLOR'S,
JUST TELL A BROTHER YOU WANT TO GO TO TAYLOR'S!"
OKAY? - YOU SAID THAT?
- OH, HELL YEAH, MAN. I LAID IT OUT, RIGHT?
I SAYS--I SAYS--I SAYS--
I SAID, "BITCH, I'M THE MAN OF THE HOUSE."
- YOU SAID, "BITCH," THOUGH?
- HMM?
- YOU CALLED YOUR WIFE A BITCH?
- UH-HUH, YEAH.
- CRAIG. - DARRELL.
- WHERE ARE THOSE GUYS?
- I DON'T KNOW. LET'S GO...
- SO SHE'S LIKE, "WHY DON'T YOU RENT A MOVIE
WE BOTH LIKE?" - NO, SHE DIDN'T.
- AFTER I SPENT 25 MINUTES IN THE GODDAMN BLOCKBUSTER.
CRAIG, I LOOKED THIS WOMAN IN HER OPTIC STEMS AND I SAYS--
I SAID--
I SAYS, "BITCH."
- YOU SAID THAT?
- AIN'T NOTHING BUT A THING.
- BUT YOU SAID, "BITCH," THOUGH?
- YEP. - SEE...
[phone rings]
- OH, SH--
HEY, HONEY, CRAIG'S JUST GIVING ME THE NEIGHBORHOOD TOUR.
- SO THEN SHE'S LIKE, "I DIDN'T KNOW WE'D BE DOING
SO MUCH WALKING." - NUH-UH.
- I'M LIKE, "I DIDN'T TELL YOU TO WEAR THOSE SHOES."
SHE SAID, "DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE AT ME."
- WHAT?
- DARRELL, I LOOKED THIS WOMAN DEAD IN THE WINDOWS OF HER SOUL.
- MM-HMM. - I SAID--
I SAID...
[door opens, air hisses]
I SAID, "BITCH."