-Our first guest tonight is an Emmy-
and Grammy Award-winning comedian you know from her work
in "Girls Trip," "The Last OG," and "The Afterparty."
Her children's book, "Layla, The Last Black Unicorn,"
hits shelves May 10th, and you can see her
in the new Nicolas Cage film
"The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"
in theaters tomorrow. Let's take a look.
-Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Why is Nic Cage on this plane?
You know what? We're pulling out.
-I don't like this. Get out of there.
-No. -What do you mean "no"?
No, no, no. What are you doing?
Vivian, what are you doing?
-Thank you.
-This is our shot.
-No, get out!
Vivian, get the f-- -Nicolas Cage!
Oh, my God! You're so awesome.
I love you! -Oh, thank you.
-Me and my nephew, Raymond, just watched "Croods 2."
Dude cracked us up.
Can I take a selfie? -Sure.
No, I like that movie, too.
-You did so good in that movie, man.
-I made that movie with Emma Stone.
-Please welcome back to the show
our friend Tiffany Haddish!
[ Cheers and applause ]
♪♪
-Hey! -Oh, my goodness!
I'm so glad you're back. -I'm so glad to be back.
Is that drummer married? -That drummer? I don't know.
Aric, are you married? -I'm about to be.
-Oh, about to be. [ Audience groans ]
I don't know. He left a window open for you.
-I know, "about to," right? [ Laughter ]
I'm cool on "about to." I need to know, you available?
[ Laughter ] -Because you are.
You're dating again.
-Yes, I'm back out in the streets.
-How's it going? -Um, you know, it's --
it's interesting. It's an adventure.
-Yeah.
-You know, I'm all about adventure.
-Yeah. -I'm back on the dating apps.
You know, I put all my requirements in my profile.
-Okay. What are the big ones?
-Good credit score, because I need to know you responsible.
-Yeah. -Okay.
You need to have good hygiene. -All right.
-That's really important to me.
I can't stand bad breath and funky armpits.
-Yeah. -What else? What else?
Oh, you need to have -- Okay, so, you know,
I've been attracted to a lot of hip-hop kind of guys.
-Yeah.
-And I don't mind men wearing jewelry.
But if you own a bunch of diamonds
but you don't own no land? -Yeah.
-That's a problem for me. -So you want land.
You would prefer land and then diamonds.
-Land then diamonds.
Because where do the diamonds come from?
The land. -Yes.
-So own the land, then get the diamonds.
Like, I got diamonds. -Yeah.
-I do. 'Cause I got land.
-Oh, interesting. [ Cheers and applause ]
I think that is very interesting.
People must be so excited to go on a date with you,
but then also maybe a little intimidated.
-I don't know if they're intimi--
I think all men are scary. -Yeah.
-I think y'all all scared.
I can feel your intimidation right now.
-That I'm currently intimidated by you?
-Just a little bit. I see your forehead
turning a little bit red. -Well...
I'm gonna come little closer to show you.
[ Both laugh ] -See? Yeah!
-Yeah? [ Laughter ]
I'll tell you what I'm intimidated about, for real.
Here's what I'm intimidated about.
-What? -Your kids book.
-Why?
-'Cause I got a kids book right now.
-Oh, yeah, you do got a kids book.
-And I am holding on by a thread
to the "New York Times" bestseller top 10.
I mean, I'm on a thread right now.
-What number are you now? -Nine.
-Oh, okay. Well, get ready to be 13.
-[ Laughing ] 13? So this is yours.
-Yes, yes. -All right.
And this is very exciting. -Yes.
It's based off of a portion of my childhood.
-Uh-huh. -I had to go to this new school,
and I was feeling really uncomfortable there
'cause I didn't think I would fit in.
And I didn't, at first, but I figured my way out
and figured out how to use my special gifts
as a way to make friends.
So that's what this is about. -Did you enjoy it?
Did you enjoy the process of writing a kids book?
-I did enjoy the process.
Did you enjoy it? -I did.
-What did you like most about it?
-I liked that someone else did the drawings.
[ Laughter ]
-You should've seen my sketches. It was all stick figures.
-Yeah. Did you actually do it, though?
Did you say to your artist, like,
"I've done some stick-figure work for you"?
-Yeah, I'm like, "Here go some ideas."
-Uh-huh. -And then I just started
cutting and pasting other unicorn things
I liked onto it, so I made, like, a collage.
-You did a lot more than I did. That's very impressive.
-Well, 'cause I'm very specific about what I do.
That's how you get bestseller all the time.
-Interesting. [ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
Well, I'm here to tell you that if you mail it in, effort-wise,
you get that number nine as the sweet spot.
You can settle right in to number nine.
-Everybody, make sure you get Seth's book now,
'cause when mine comes out May 10th, it's a wrap for him.
[ Laughter ]
-I can't wait. On May 10th --
On May 10th, you're gonna see my book in all the half-off bins.
"We needed shelf space for Tiffany."
-Have you gone to read to the kids yet?
-I'm doing a reading, 'cause when it first came out,
it was still a little bit like, we're not doing in-person stuff,
but I'm doing one in two weeks. I'm really excited.
-Oh, that's awesome.
I've already been reading mine in Zooms.
-You're doing Zooms? [ Laughter ]
-I've been to hospitals through Zoom.
-Well, that's wonderful that you're doing that.
-Yeah, it's called early advertisement.
-Oh, interesting. -Yeah, that's part of why
I did the children's book, 'cause, see, I want to reach
all demographics, and I know children love me.
-Uh-huh. -I don't know if you ever had
a 4-year-old tell you you a big deal, but I have.
[ Laughter ]
When that 4-year-old told me I was a big deal,
I said, "You know what?
I got to do something for that 4-year-old."
-Yes. -So I went ahead
and made this book for ages 3 to 8.
That's a whole new demographic.
By the time they old enough to spend they own money, bam!
They my customers! [ Laughter ]
-No, because I should say, I love when an old person
comes up and tells me, "I love your work."
I love that a great deal.
But I know they're not gonna be around forever.
-Yeah, but they gonna leave their money to somebody,
and you want the somebody to spend it on you.
I believe children are my future.
[ Laughter and applause ]
Hello.
-So I'm excited about your book.
I'm so excited for this movie.
When I first heard about this movie, I thought,
"This can't possibly be real."
Nic Cage is playing Nic Cage.
And he gets paid a million dollars to go to,
basically, a rich person's...birthday party?
-Yes, which I wish would happen for me in real life.
I mean, I go to birthday parties all the time.
Nobody ever gives me nothing.
[ Laughter ]
But they so happy I'm there, and they take a lot of pictures.
Right? So when I first read the script,
I was like, "Oh, y'all finna get, like,
a Nic Cage impersonator, right? 'Cause this ain't really --"
And they was like, "No, we got Nicolas Cage."
I was like, "For real?" [ Laughter ]
"He gonna do this for real? Is this his real-life story?"
[ Laughter ]
And they said, "No, it's just a way to, like,
show his works and for him to poke fun."
And I was thinking to myself, "Is he a comedic actor at all?"
But then I realized, he's a freakin' phenomenal actor.
-He is. -So when you're a great actor,
you can do anything, right? -Yeah.
-So I was super excited to meet him.
And that's part of why I wanted to do the movie,
'cause I wanted to tell him a story.
And then -- that's it. [ Laughter ]
I just wanted to tell him one story
and make that money at the same time.
-Yeah, yeah, that's a --
If you can tell a story and get paid --
What was the story you had to tell Nic Cage?
-Okay, so -- I mean, I told it to a few reporters.
It ended up being clickbait.
But what had happened was, when I was 17,
I had went on a date to the movies, right?
And it was my first time experiencing a climax
in a movie theater. -Wait. So not a film climax?
-Oh, no, no, a personal -- you know, um...
[ Laughter ] -Okay.
-Ladies, you know what I'm talking about.
Ooh! [ Laughter ]
Whoa! [ Cheers and applause ]
"Yaah! What's happening to me?!"
-So this was happening -- So this was happening --
-So what had happened was,
it was just me and this guy in the theater, right?
We had went to the really late show of "Face/Off,"
which is my favorite movie. -Yeah, okay.
-So we went to the late showing of "Face/Off," and then,
you know, you be in there making out and stuff.
Yeah, yeah. -Yeah, of course.
And then, you know, he was, like, moving his hands around
and stuff, and I was like, "Whoo!"
and when I "Whoo!", when I opened my eyes,
Nicolas Cage eyes was looking into my eyes.
[ Laughter, cheers, applause ]
And that's kind of the vision.
That's what I seen most of the time.
That's my first experience with --
-So now every time...? -No, not every time, no, no.
Just when I close my eyes. [ Laughter ]
But that's why I keep my eyes open.
So when I meet Nicolas Cage, you know, I get there
first day of work, and I'm thinking, like,
"I'm gonna get to talk to him for 30 minutes or so,
and then I could tell him this, and then get on --"
But that's not how it went down. It was like, straight to work.
Bam! We rehearse, and now we on.
And I'm looking at him in his eyes
like I'm looking at you in your eyes.
And the 17-year-old me is like, "Tell him, tell him!"
And I'm like, "No, shut up, bitch!
You can't tell him now!
It's inappropriate! We at work!"
"No, you got to tell him!"
And then I couldn't do my lines. It was bad.
It was very bad. I could not perform.
And then, finally, after about three hours of being horrible,
I was like, "Look, I have to tell you this story,
or I'm not gonna be able to -- y'all gonna fire me."
And I said, "It's a very inappropriate story,
but please let me tell you."
And I told him, and he laughed so hard.
And then he told me a story about how his first wife
saw him in a movie and said, "That's gonna be my husband,"
and he ended up marrying her. And I said,
"Well, I'm gonna let you know right now,
you won't be fiddling any of these beans over here."
[ Laughter ] "Okay?"
And we been good friends ever since.
-That's fantastic. I think that sometimes,
you're so nervous when you meet a person
that you've looked up to for so long,
and you're so worried you're going to tell them something
they've heard a million times. -Right.
He never heard that before. -Yeah, I was gonna wager, yeah.
That was a first time that he's ever heard that.
-But then, after that, my acting was excellent.
[ Laughter ] It was great.
-Your acting is always excellent.
And let me tell you, it is always such a joy
to have you here. Thank you so much.
-It's always a joy to be here with you, man.
-It was such a delight. Guys, that's Tiffany Haddish.
"The Unbearable Weight of Massive Talent"
opens in theaters tomorrow.
And "Layla, The Last Black Unicorn" is available May 10th.
I'm so sorry. Oh, my God. Is that my book?
I'm so sorry. -That's your book.
-We'll be right back with Chloe Sevigny.