Hey, everybody.
Welcome to Table Talk.
I'm Meg Turney.
Oh, do I go because I'm in the middle?
I get it.
I mean-- or I can.
OK.
Let's do it at the same time.
One, two, three--
I'm Anthony Carboni.
I'm Elliott Morgan.
It doesn't match.
You both said it like you were waiting for the other one
to psych you out.
I was.
I was waiting for the Morgan double-fake.
No.
I'm a-- I'm--
Guys.
You sent in your topics using #tabletalk.
I'm gonna try and salvage this.
Or on Reddit, r/sourcefed.
Anthony is a guest of ours, and we
are very excited to have him.
Yes.
He's been hanging out, so I didn't
think that saying that he's a guest-- I guess technically--
he feels like he's a brother.
He feels like home.
And it's hard to-- to think of your brother as somebody
that you need introduce people to,
because it's so inherit to who I am.
First question.
Wait a minute!
See, I double-faked him.
That was great.
How do you feel about tattoos becoming more of an art form
rather than being looked at as a negative in society?
Do you feel they are more acceptable in the workplace
now?
From Whitey1455.
I like that.
Whitey.
Kill Whitey.
Um--
No.
I don't think they're as acceptable,
and like-- when people have them they're acceptable.
But I still think you cover them for--
For things.
There are certain industries where
it is considered-- like it's almost
like having an extra year of experience on your resume,
right?
[INAUDIBLE]
Yeah.
Like if you're-- chefs.
People in video, a lot.
For sure.
Creative types.
Rappers.
Creative types, yeah.
Like maybe graphic designers, or--
Yeah.
Anybody in the creative field.
But I feel like whenever people say workplace, at least I still
imagine what I've imagined since I was six, which is an office
building and cubicles and everybody with like briefcases
and stuff.
I still-- I need to move past that.
Because I think there are different types of jobs
out there.
I don't even think they make briefcases anymore.
It's crazy.
I haven't seen a briefcase in, like, forever.
When I was a kid, I loved briefcases so much.
I wanted so bad to grow up and have a briefcase that I could
be like, tap-tap-- and just have files in there.
My dad gave me his old one.
And I used to fill half of it with comic books
and the other half with candy bars and walk around.
Who knew that would be your job someday?
Comic books and candy bars.
Do you guys have a tattoo?
I don't.
I have no tattoos.
I have two.
I have this one.
And then I have one on my side that is not for viewing.
I've always wanted to get one--
What side it is on?
It's on this side.
You showed it on a "Table Talk" one time, though.
I did.
You can go find it.
It's there.
It's on the internet.
There's a close-up hi-res version of it, too,
from the Me In My Place shoot.
But I actually looked for it in a photo
once and then realized I was looking
at the wrong side of my ribcage.
I never know.
Well, me neither.
It's fake.
I really like-- I've talked about this before.
I like sleeve tattoos on girls.
I think it looks really cool.
And, I mean, I look like a guy who
would be into super goth girls anyway, clearly.
But no, I think it looks really cool.
I love tattoos.
I think they're amazing.
They're not for me.
I support them, though, being in the workplace.
I don't think they look unprofessional.
I don't think people look rough and tumble
if they have tattoos anymore.
If anything it's almost kind of like a hipster thing now.
A lot of hipsters that get the tattoos--
Yeah.
And actually the old-style tattoos, the Jerry-- something.
Curls, yeah.
No.
He's like a famous tattoo.
He did like the retro tattoo look when it was actually--
I love it, yeah.
I love all of them.
But anytime I see a girl with a nice sleeve--
like a really well-done-- it definitely adds something.
And also I think about you.
Yeah!
I think about me too when I see them.
My brother has two koi fish on his arm,
because we're both Pisces.
And they're really well-done, it's beautiful.
I'm a Pisces, too.
I don't know what that means about me.
Virgo!
OK, sir.
If anybody needs anybody to organize their sock drawer,
I'm around later.
Is that like the--
That's the Virgo thing, is like organized,
and everything has to be your way.
Which is why I think I can't get a tattoo.
Because I get in there and I just
start thinking about the future.
And I started thinking about, like, OK, well you
say you're gonna draw it this way, but you're not a computer.
It looks this way on paper, but then you're
gonna go to put it on my arm-- you're not a computer drawing
machine.
What a specific type of insult.
You're gonna F up.
You're gonna F up, and then it's gonna be on me forever.
You're a flawed being.
I was thinking of one-- I'd like a traditional-style tattoo
but with pokemon instead of koi fish.
Oh, really?
Yeah.
Would you go-- because I like-- I dunno.
I like all of them on the thing.
No, I would want a half.
He's going to his special place in his mind right now.
You know what, though?
Stars on the eye.
Hello.
Really?
No.
Not at all.
I was like, thank god.
I love face tattoos.
I love those.
I like when they-- nope.
Never mind.
All right.
@1rogueknight says, if you could have any show come back for two
more seasons, what would it be?
Mine would be "Angel."
Is what this person said, not me.
"Firefly."
All right.
Solid choice.
I think a lot of people would get behind that.
A show that should have had a couple more seasons.
"Frasier."
"Joey."
I really feel like they didn't finish up Joey's arc.
I want to know what happened to him.
They left me hanging.
"Boy Meets World."
They're doing "Girl Meets World."
I know.
But two more seasons?
Why not?
That show--
You want to follow them to New York?
I would follow them to New York.
I want to know what happens with Topanga's career.
Because she apparently does not follow her dreams, because now
according to "Girl Meets World" she's doing her own thing.
Because that show should have ended way before
it actually ended.
And every season they dragged it out
to the point of ridiculousness.
So I want to just keep getting more ridiculous.
Oh, you want to keep it going.
You could [INAUDIBLE] to just continue
to spiral into nothingness.
Nobody sent him to a neurologist.
He started out, like, pretty normal.
Yeah.
Very normal.
And then by like the seventh season
you're just, like, you have to see someone about your brain,
man.
You want a brain-bleed.
Like slowly putting pressure on your brain.
You watch the first season and he's
like, I'm a cool older brothers.
Love girls, girls love me.
And by the end of the season he's like dressing up
as a post-apocalyptic--
He's just carrying a stack of pies in the other room.
And he's just like, I dunno--
By the end he does the Feeny bit.
Fee-ee-ee-eeny!
Yeah, yeah.
I love it.
Oh, man.
I still love it, though.
I still love it.
If they had gone two more seasons
I think they would have been legitimately driving
around the country solving crimes.
I think it would have gone to that level.
They did drive around the country a little bit
in-- there's a couple episodes where Shawn runs away,
and Corey goes and gets him at a truck stop.
Don't know if you remember that but.
Oh, absolutely.
Welcome to our weekly "Boy Meets World" podcast.
Fancast.
The Feeny Files.
Be sure to subscribe on iTunes.
Did you guys know that the person
who named Topanga Topanga, just so we're all clear,
is Bill Lawrence, the creator of "Scrubs," "Spin City," "Clone
High," "Cougar Town," as well as the upcoming--
I love him.
He was fired after the first season.
I will-- that's amazing.
And I will pick "Clone High" as my show that
should have had to more seasons.
Because that was a fantastic show.
That was a power move.
Waiting for the brainstorm.
That was good.
Yeah, I tried.
I was completely blank until he said "Clone HIgh."
Completely bank.
I feel like there were more shows that
should have had two fewer seasons than two more.
I think American TV has a tendency to do that, right?
If it's popular it just keeps going.
Just let it go.
When you look at British TV, you look at something
where it's like, you're gonna get
three episodes of "Sherlock," and maybe you're
not gonna get any more.
So here's the end of the story.
Yep.
I love it.
Oh, what-- "Breaking Bad."
Hello.
But it went out on a high.
It did.
It's perfect.
See, I like that.
I like when it goes out.
I like to think, though, that Vince Gilligan would have made
it-- continued to have made it perfect.
But maybe he wouldn't have.
Still, though.
How cool would that be?
Two more seasons.
Can you imagine?
I will say YouTube answer, two fewer seasons--
this is probably gonna get me in trouble-- Marble Hornets.
Yeah!
Anybody ever watch that?
The first season's fucking magical.
It's where Slender Man comes from.
Oh.
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
It's magical.
It's scary as hell.
It's so good.
But the guys didn't expect it to be
anything more than that first season,
and you can tell that they were like ah, fuck, I dunno
where we're going now.
Yeah.
Sorry, guys.
But it was-- the first season is magical.
I think we nailed that question.
I think we got it.
We did a good job.
We killed it.
All right, guys.
Over on the Reddit.
HappyNoodleBoy-- that's awesome--
said do you believe soy milk was just regular milk trying
to introduce himself in Spanish, and why?
Yes.
It didn't know the other person, and there's a language barrier.
Next question.
Squiggy Wizzlecheeks-- guys, these
are solid-- over on Twitter-- @thequotablehero--
I love when there's a big discrepancy between the Twitter
handle and their name.
Squiggy Wizzlecheeks-- @thequotablehero--
says what's your favorite bad movie lines?
#tabletalk.
Uh, just about everything in "Hudson Hawk."
Yeah?
Yeah.
Everything in "Hudson Hawk."
Like when he actually decapitates the guy,
and he goes, I guess he won't be going
to that hat convention in July.
When it was Bruce Willis being a caricature of Bruce Willis
at his best-- I love that.
That's a good one.
I like Batman-- "Batman and Robin."
Any line from Arnold Schwarzenegger's Mr. Freeze.
Ice to meet you.
Yeah.
That's a good one.
I will say that there's a movie-- little movie,
you might have seen it-- called "No Strings Attached" that I
thought was gonna be very good.
It's I and Ashton Kutcher, and they're having sex.
Oh, right.
They're friends, and like--
I saw that.
Sexy friends.
Yeah.
There's a part at the end where they're
gonna have their romantic reunion
and Natalie Portman comes toward him and he goes-- stop.
Because if you come any closer, I'm
not gonna be able to let you go.
I'm actually tearing up.
I believe that.
Really!
I'm never gonna be able to let you go.
Also, "Terminator," bitches leave.
Perfect like by Kurtwood Smith.
Why is it that movies can be so bad
and they just keep making bad movies?
There's no-- no one's learning.
They're just going-- like, I understand
the kitschy bad ones, where people are like, yeah,
this is bad because it's funny-bad.
But like, why?
Can't we elevate?
I know that special effects are getting better,
a lot of movies in general are getting better.
But there's so many bad ones.
But I love bad movies.
I think-- yeah.
Oh, you really do?
Like, "Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift."
Now, the "if you're not out of control, you're not in control"
is not actually in the film.
Little tidbit for everyone.
It's in the trailer but not in the film.
But I love those movies.
I'd pay Fast and the Furious 25, I'll still see it.
Basically anything Vin Diesel.
XXX had a lot of good ones.
Vin Diesel.
Just anything--
When you talked about bitches leave,
XXX has the one where they're in the Russian nightclub slash
castle with the evil weapons dealers,
and they make a deal for millions of dollars,
and then he goes bitches, come.
And they literally come crawling out of the crawl space.
Like, women in bikinis come out-- celebratory weapon--
they're just, like, waiting to hear that.
You know what?
You've answered me question.
Now I know.
Like, I get it.
Yeah.
That's great, right?
I went to San Francisco over the holidays,
and I was in a boutique hotel room with my wife.
And they had a TV.
And so I was like, I'm gonna find something and just watch
it.
And I found that "Grindhouse" movie.
With Tarantino.
Which half did you watch?
The one with the zombies and the girl with the leg.
"Planet Terror."
Yeah.
Kind of loved it.
Not gonna lie.
It was really good.
Such, such ridiculousness.
And I kind of understood the bad movie.
Not the good half of "Grindhouse."
That's what I heard, too.
So it makes me want to see the other--
because I heard the other one has like the--
"Death Proof." "Death Proof" is the jam.
But I like-- yeah.
Bad movies.
I love bad movies.
Yeah.
Um-- is it "Pitch Black?"
Is that he name of the movie?
Yes.
All Vin Diesel, all the time.
I love this!
We reviewed it for movie club, and actually said
some choice lines.
I can't remember.
But every single line was like, oh, really?
Oh, there's a good line in "2 Fast, 2 Furious," also,
where the recently-deceased Paul Walker--
You know what?
I actually have a transcript for the films right here.
Um--
Paul Walker says, I said forget about it, cuh.
Like, you're not hood, Paul Walker.
I'm sorry.
RIP.
He doesn't say it ironically?
No.
He says it completely-- RIP, I'm sorry.
Thank you.
Please.
Thank you.
Nailed it.
We miss you, buddy.
Guys, if you see the tribute on the DVD, you'll cry.
That's super sad.
Am I allowed to grab one?
Is that--
No, I-- is it your turn?
Get in there.
Do you want to mix it up?
Do you want that one?
It's OK.
I'll take an assist.
I'm new.
This is like bingo.
You always yell at the person who-- never mind.
This one's from DeFranco_rules on Twitter.
Apropos.
What is the best MMO game you've played?
Either of you play MMOs?
I'm not a big MMO guy.
I don't get-- I don't get into the grinding.
Mm.
The grinding kind of bores me.
I get to this point where I'm like, yeah.
I get it.
I keep killing dudes endlessly and I keep leveling
and I got a better sword.
Eh.
"The Secret World" was kind of interesting.
Did you play any of that?
"The Secret World" is one where you go online
and you're either part of the Illuminati
or a couple other groups.
And the deal is all legends are true.
All legends you've ever heard.
You choose a faction--
Like conspiracies, or?
Conspiracies, mythology.
Like, all this stuff.
And it's all mixed together in one big world.
But it's kind of interesting.
What's it called?
"The Secret World."
Yeah.
You should check that one out.
That sound really cool.
When I was in college I got really
into "Phantasy Star Online" for the Dreamcast.
Oh. "Phantasy Star Online" has a lot of dedicated fans.
It was like an idiot baby MMO.
It was like a micro not-really-good MMO.
At all.
I've heard good things about it.
It was just base-level noob MMO.
But I just got so hooked on it.
I played it and played it.
I would, like, not go to school and just
play this game for like 12 hours straight.
And I'd be, like, I gotta stop playing "Phantasy Star."
See, that's how "World of Warcraft" was for me.
I'd be like, oh, 16 hours?
I guess I should sleep now.
Is it on the-- is "Secret World" on internet?
Yeah, yeah.
It's a free-to-play, too.
That sounds super cool, dude.
Yeah.
It's really cool.
Final question.
Chris Johnson from the Reddit says
you have to break a world record in the next week or you'll die.
What record would you go for?
How would you go about it?
I hold a world record.
Really?
No way.
I hold a world record.
From recordsetter.com.
You know those guys?
You send them in videos and they verify them independently,
and they have-- they're like cool Guinness.
They're like cool Guinness.
And I have a world record-- there's
a video for this online-- of most women
spitting in your face at a romantic dinner at 60 seconds.
And we set up this table and a line of women at a nice club--
This is not what I was expecting.
And they would sit down, and I would
say something insulting to them, and they would immediately
spit water-- we had glasses of water lined up.
And I think I got to eight in a minute.
Eight or nine women in a minute.
Did you get--
I got a patch.
Did you get sick?
From the germs?
I got a patch and I got gonorrhea.
You got gonorrhea.
Yeah.
That's really impressive, coming from their mouth.
Worth it.
There were some dirty women there.
You know what?
That's interesting.
I really enjoyed that story.
I did not know that was what you were gonna say.
I feel like I'm there.
You thought I was gonna have some legitimate world record?
No.
I am a jerk.
I am a terrible man.
Just happened to be filmed at the time.
It was all real life.
On my bucket list is to break the DDR world
record, which is longest game.
It is currently, if my memory serves--
I believe it is 16 hours, 10 minutes.
Oh my gosh.
I will do this.
This will happen.
We've actually, like, specced it out
for channel shows, or personal channel shows,
or company sponsor- we've thought about it all.
Dude, I would love to see you do that.
I'm gonna say this year-- gonna happen.
I would love to see you do that.
And we're-- someone will live stream it.
If it's me in a garage somewhere,
I will fucking live stream it.
I'll just bring my phone and we'll just do that.
Thank you.
It's fine.
Whatever has to make this happen.
What time would you start in the day?
I thought about that.
You know, I thought I'd probably start in the morning.
I did think about maybe starting in the afternoon.
But I think-- when I drove from Texas to California
I was like, I'm gonna be smart.
I'm gonna start late at night, and then I'll
have the sunlight to keep me up.
Horrible idea.
I got an hour in and turned around.
Really?
So you've gotta start in the morning.
You gotta-- that Circadian rhythm.
I would say that too.
Yeah.
The Circadian rhythm-- because in the afternoon I
always dip down into zombie level.
Is there any sort of limitation to the difficulty level?
There is.
Because some of these are really intense.
Right.
So here's-- I'm afraid to reveal my plan.
But it'll happen.
I'm doing it.
She called it.
No stealsies.
King's X.
So what's your plan?
So my plan is to play--
"Secret World," destroy Meg Turney's record.
I'll forget, and I'll be like, what?
Watch "XXX."
So the kid who broke set the world record--
according to Guinness he had to play 50 minutes out
of every hour.
He got 10 minutes of every hour to sit down, rest, eat,
whatever.
Which is lots.
So I would probably play on medium, or easy, depending
on how hard-- I'd have to train and figure out
what kind of skill I have.
Do you have to match his difficulty?
No.
Pfft.
And he actually-- his difficulty wasn't released.
I think he just played it on easy the whole time.
So I'd probably play it on easy or normal.
And then on every hour I would play a heavy song, to get the--
Keep it going.
Get a little spicy.
Do you know this guy?
No.
It's a kid who raised money for his school trip to China.
Beat him!
Yeah.
Fuck you!
Destroy that charitable kid!
Tarnish his reputation.
I broke the other bowl earlier today.
Yeah!
Do you have a record that you want to beat?
Yeah.
I want to be the biggest heavyweight lifter.
You're gonna be the best there ever was?
If I could be anything, I'd break every record
that involves being incredibly physically fit.
I want to win the most Oscars.
Boom.
Meryl Streep, fuck you.
Yeah.
I'm coming for you, Meryl.
Charitable Chinese children and Meryl Streep.
Yeah.
We're gunning for you both.
Taking them both out.
You can get the two confused pretty easily.
Those are like the two most beloved types
of people in the world.
Meryl Streep and Chinese kids trying to make a difference.
No, I think the kid was white--
I think you mean Jennifer Lawrence.
He was going on a school trip to China.
Oh.
Then destroy him.
Boom.
Yeah, you're done.
For sure.
Guys, thanks so much for joining us on Table Talk,
for sending in your hashtag topics,
Twitter, Table Talk, Reddit, r/sourcefed.
I'm Meg Turney.
Oh, I'm Anthony Carboni--
I'm Elliott Morgan--
I don't know the-- I got faked again.
Damn it.
Great.
So yeah.
Say your name clearly so that they know.
I'm Anthony Carboni.
Go follow him on Twitter and check all his stuff out.
He's really great.
[INAUDIBLE]