Television crime dramas have run up a huge audience, but their surge in popularity has
come with some unexpected consequences.
Yes, they’ve gotten people interested in forensic science.
But they’ve also mangled our expectations of the forensic profession and what’s going
on in the lab.
So today we’re going to enhance… enhance… enhance… enhance your understanding of what
it’s really like to be a forensic expert – with a little first-hand account from
our chemical comrade, Dr. Rubidium.
Let’s set the record straight here folks, forensic science is an incredibly interesting
field to be in, but the reality of the situation is that if CSI Miami was 100% accurate in
the way they show the science, they’d probably lose about 100% of their audience.
The fact of the matter is, forensics is about chemical analysis, and generally speaking,
that takes a lot of patience and concentration…
Real experts know that gathering evidence and analyzing it in the laboratory is a painstaking
process, with little room for action.
On CSI you’ll find forensic analysts hot on the criminal’s tail after a quick stint
in the lab, kicking butt while simultaneously slinging chemistry and a Glock.
For those of you out there excited about forensics, we hate to break it to you…
your kung-fu classes aren’t going to be anywhere near as useful as your knowledge
of chromatography or mass spectrometry, or your ability to keep patiently on task to
make sure you have everything you need before you whip back to the laboratory after reviewing
the scene of a crime.
“You know before we leave a crime scene you would go through and go yeah, do we ha
ve check, check, check, and you do things in a very regimented way because you have
to because you want to make sure you’ve done everything to the best standards of protocols…
… So it’s hard to have a dramatic scene where everyone’s running to the car to chase
down the bad guy when you’re in the middle of a checklist... … there’s none of those
dramatic moments because you’re the dorks that are doing the checklist, and there’s
some complete other unit that gets to be doing the dramatic running scene and car chasing
people.
Those are the police.
You get to the be the ones to make sure you bring enough gloves.”
And it’s not just the crime scene.
Audiences have been spoiled with crime labs that look more like Mythbusters work-spaces
with dramatic art-house theater lighting than they do actual chemistry labs.
“And I swear, CSI Miami had the darkest labs I think I’ve ever seen in my life,
like the outside everyone was clearly blinded by the sun because everyone’s in sunglasses”
Not to mention the dozens of seemingly omniscient analytical tools and processes that regurgitate
case-breaking hard evidence at the push of a button.
“They’re going to inject something into some machine and it’s going to be this beautiful
print-out - and it’s going to be like, ‘oh it’s such ‘n’ such that was only manufactured
by blahbadiblah between the years of blahbadiblah and blah blah.
Oh!
And it’s only currently sold in this specific location…’ and you’re like, what is
this magical printout you have in front of you!”
Make no mistake folks, this is a “science” machine that elucidates plot points, not real
world evidence.
But that doesn’t mean writers don’t try to be at least a little bit accurate.
Even though they’re dramatized, these television labs are inspired by the real thing.
But hey, why not try writing in some safety goggles in next time, or head back to CHEM101.
In real-life crime laboratories you’re going to find a mix of chemists with very different
specialties and backgrounds.
Toxicology, materials & residue analysis, and general chemistry tend to dominate the
field of forensics, and it’s usually never the case that there’s a jack of all trades
expert like NCIS’ Abby Sciuto or CSI’s Gil Grissom, who somehow both squeezed in
two lifetimes’ worth of science degrees.
Because you have so many different specialists and a limited amount of equipment to use while
juggling deadlines, you’ll find that forensic scientists are masters of multitasking and
sharing…
“You have to schedule your time and get all of that processing
done and be very multitasking and very methodical in your approach.
You do the same thing when you’re processing so you kind of look at like what’s the landscape
look like and plan out when you’ll need this instrument or this room or this thing,
and you start booking it out because your working usually with lots of other folks who
are going to need to do the same thing…
“
But hey now, that doesn’t mean that real forensics experts aren’t heroes.
You have to remember, while there isn’t all that action like on television, forensic
scientists make our world a safer place by using chemistry to help put real criminals
behind bars, while also saving those who are wrongfully accused.
Now that is some chemical justice.
Thanks for tuning in, and don’t forget to subscribe before you go.
We’ll catch you next time!