Hello I m Darren Magee and today s questions are asking, What is a Communal Narcissist?
What would the signs of communal narcissism be? So in this video, I'm going to outline
what communal narcissism is, I'm going to look at it from a low level up to a high level. But I'm
also going to look at what happens to different groups and movements and so on whenever a group
of communal narcissists become involved. So if you find this video interesting, if you like it,
please consider subscribing to my channel. But first of all I would like to say there is nothing
wrong with expecting some kind of acknowledgment for the things that we do. I think that's just
human nature. For instance, you hold the door open for someone, it's not unreasonable to
expect or to like to hear a thank you. Communal narcissism is something different. Remember,
narcissism is characterised by a sense of entitlement. There's haughty behaviour, being
highly disagreeable. They can be highly resistant or highly sensitive to criticism. There's a lack
of empathy for others and a continuous need for validation and admiration. These traits,
these characteristics can manifest themselves in different ways. Communal narcissists can be out
going just like a grandiose narcissist. Both do have similar traits and motives regarding
entitlement and power and the need for admiration. But they employed different behaviours in order to
achieve them. A grandiose narcissist wants to be seen as the most important, the most powerful, the
most attractive, smartest person in the room and will often behave in a way that reflects that. The
communal narcissist, they want to be seen as the hardest working, the most committed, dedicated,
the warmest, most caring and compassionate person in the room. They typically seek out and like to
have important or moral roles in society. They like to fix things that they think need fixed,
support people they think need help. They like to campaign for things that they think need to
be changed and can experience immense validation from feeling as if they've made a difference. They
sometimes the motivation is not necessarily to help others, even though others can benefit from
their actions, but it is to have their ego fed from the admiration that they received
from helping others. And they can be harder to identify because they often promote themselves
through being committed to what they consider to be a good work or a good cause I like to be,
could be the company they work for. It could be their community, a charity or religion,
or perhaps a political movement. People with narcissistic personality generally do have a
huge sense of entitlement and superiority, and are often caught up with fantasies of success
and power and admiration. But they also lack empathy, so can either be unable or sometimes may
be unwilling to recognise the true needs of other people. So even if they do genuinely believe they
are doing something worthwhile, they might not be. Regardless of what they are involved with though
at home they may be abusive, neglectful, hurtful, selfish and she had still demand compliance
and obedience from their partners, from their families. They expect constant acknowledgement
for their good deeds, their devotion and their hard work for others. And can experience anger
and rage if those expectations aren't met. To sum it up they re only really involved for their own
benefit. What would the common characteristics and signs of communal narcissism be? Well first of all
at a low level this just might be someone who keeps volunteering for things, offering to help
out or do things to help others, even if that's regardless of whether that person needs help or
not. And they can be well meaning, but they're still self-serving. Their self-serving motivation
is often hidden behind a saintly and altruistic bias. I think a common sign of this would be
if you were to tell someone like that that you don't need their help, you're fine without it,
they go ahead and do it anyway. They tend to see themselves as rescuers, even though at times they
may just come across as a pest. Or even if they are genuinely trying to help, I think what we
often see is someone struggling to recognise the difference between a good thing and the right
thing because it's more about how they feel about it. Next, that would be the martyr. Now this is
the person who maybe claims that everything they do is a huge sacrifice. In a voluntary role they
may take on tasks for which they have no training or experience in, but they do have a lot of energy
and a lot of enthusiasm. Maybe they believe that that makes up for their lack of skills. At work
they might get involved in a lot of different projects. They may even start doing other peoples
work for them, claiming they are just helping out or nothing ever happens unless they do it.
They may believe that company, that charity, that movement, whatever it is, would simply
just deteriorate or close down or end without them because they are invaluable. They may even
look down upon or mock others who are involved if they consider them not to be as committed as they
are. They may also claim a sense of virtue through victimhood. Now either victimhood for themselves
or more typically as we see on social media these days, outrage over the victimhood of others. Some
might even use that sense of victimhood almost like a get out of jail free card to behave as
venomously and sometimes as sadistically as they like because it's for a good cause. Next,
and I must say this is not the same as someone who genuinely feels passionately about something,
but they may claim to have a mission in life. They may claim to have a calling of some kind. Now it
could well be their third calling this year, but they have it anyway. Their mission, now that could
range from just wanting to help people to they just want to see fairness, to this is going to be
the hill they re prepared to die on. Anyone else who may have other interests or maybe aren't as
committed as them are selfish or full of hatred. And this extreme dedication to whatever their
cause is can lead them to neglect other areas of their lives, even just simple day-to-day
responsibilities or even their own relationships. Also I d like to say that communal narcissists can
be quite territorial. They might feel threatened if they see someone else maybe doing the same
kind of thing as they are and perhaps even doing it better. They can be scathing, question their
motives or perhaps even trying to sabotage them. As much as they may have no problem stepping on
other people s toes and taking credit for their work in the pursuit of their own virtue and glory,
they don't like people stepping on their toes. Next, and I often think this is a good indicator,
but their concern for whatever their cause is, whatever they re involved with is only in public.
Nothing they ever do is anonymous. Charity begins with an audience, people have to know about it.
They publicly make pledges to support something but maybe never actually do anything about it,
and yet criticise others who don't voice support. The engage in what s known as virtue signalling.
This involves, among other things maybe posting pictures, articles and commenting on things on
the Internet, either about their own good work or how passionately they feel about some kind of
cause, or some perceived injustice. It is interesting that recent research from the
University of British Columbia described virtue signalling as, The conspicuous expression of
moral values done primarily with the intent of enhancing one's own standing within a social
group. The researchers found that dark personality traits such as psychopathy,
Machiavellianism and narcissism were significant predictors of victimous virtue signalling. Every
time they post something online about a good piece of work that involved with or something they're
really concerned about they earn what's known as virtue points. Again though at home behind closed
doors, where no one as watching they can be every bit as toxic towards their partners and families
as any other kind of narcissist really. After all though, who would believe that someone so caring
and compassionate could really be a monster? And lastly, they are the selfless, noble, empathetic
superhero trying to do the right thing, fight the good fight, bring justice to the world, and
make everybody happy. Like all superheroes, they need a villain. Narcissism by its very nature,
is destructive. If they can't convince others of the virtue of what it is they're trying to do,
then they will attack and demonise them. Rather than focus on the importance of whatever goal
it is they're working towards, they will focus on personalities, politics, power structures,
stir up a lot of drama and conflict. Now in the workplace for example they may claim they
are trying to do the right thing by everybody, but they are being frustrated. They're being
punished by corruption and unfairness at senior levels. In religious groups, it's everyone else
who is at fault. Either they are far too liberal, they have strayed from the faith, or they are far
too extreme. They are fundamentalists. In political or ideological movements their
opponents are either right wing fascists or they are woke left wingers. And although
they may claim to be highly empathetic, good listeners, being good at connecting with others,
I think their behaviour, their attitude often shows something very different. They re not
really open to new information, not really open to any kind of debate on anything. What happens when
you get a group of communal narcissists and they all become involved in the same thing? Well, yes,
there may be competition between them, but they do tend to feed off each other, affirm each other,
and maybe even use each other to earn virtue points. Narcissism by its very nature is
very destructive. It destroys everything. It destroys organisations, communities, families,
relationships. And it's not long until maybe that organisation or that movement or that
group starts to become so toxic and oppressive that people just leave and the only people left
are the narcissistic types. In fact, they may be the only people that it attracts. But even
then it's not long before they start to turn on each other. And when things do fall apart sadly
it's often those who are closest to them, their partners, their kids, their families that bear the
brunt of their wrath. Maybe their wrath for being exposed for being a hypocrite or something. Or for
being rejected or being criticised, and you know what? Sometimes they have to bear the brunt of
the wrath just because they don't feel appreciated enough. So that s a brief outline of the communal
narcissist. Now as always if there's anything I've forgotten, anything I haven't added please
feel free to use the comment box below. There are some interesting conversations start around these
videos. If you find this video interesting or helpful, please consider subscribing to
my channel for future updates on these kinds of topics. And until next time, thanks for watching.