- Today's my birthday.
All I want is a Cowboys' win.
If we lose to the Saints today,
we got a whole bunch of problem we need to deal with.
Playoffs! Oh, I ain't even talking about playoffs,
if we lose to the Saints today. Is Vander Esch playing?
Who all is out 'cause of COVID?
Are we just playing this game with no coaches?
We don't need any coaches to beat the Saints.
Demarcus Lawrence is back.
Good luck, Taysom Hill.
If we can't beat an injured Taysom Hill at QB,
we got bigger problems.
First pass, look good from Taysom.
Let's see how this go.
How did Vander Esch not pick that off?
That ain't work.
Good stop, D.
Kurt Warner has a movie coming out?
CeeDee Lamb's back, baby.
(hands smacking) Let's go.
Is Zeke playing today?
I thought we were resting Zeke?
Three and out on my birthday?
That's how we're starting?
How is that not offensive pass interference?
That's the biggest pick I've ever seen in my life,
and I have an afro.
Good coverage, Anthony Brown.
I'm glad last week is over too.
So--
Brett Maher's on their team.
There's the Brett Maher I know.
Brett "maybe" Maher strikes again.
Barely Brett Maher.
Incomplete.
CeeDee Lamb was wide open. That would have been a touchdown,
if he turned the right way.
I don't know why we're going for it on fourth down.
Let Taysom throw.
This man is booty.
Did Taysom hurt his hand?
Can we do something on offense?
Dang.
Let's go, Amari Cooper.
Boo.
So glad Amari Cooper's back,
and it's not because he's on my fantasy team either.
Malcolm Jenkins, where are your ankles?
CeeDee Lamb, what a run after caught.
(soft triumphant music) Oh, oh.
Fade in the end zone.
Touchdown.
Oh my God, how did he jump so high?
Oh my God, he climbed the ladder and snagged that.
Come on now, defense, you know Taysom Hill can run.
You gotta be more aware.
How do we let a guy named Lil'Jordan Humphrey score?
Our defense is concerning.
Anthony Brown is concerning.
Why do we keep running the ball?
Flea flicker.
That didn't work.
Don't ever run that play again,
and we got holding, nice.
Third down, Gallup couldn't break free.
Quinton was there.
55-yard field goal.
'Bout time you made one, Greg.
Okay, thank you, I'll take that.
Is it for my birthday?
I don't know why we keep running the ball, it's not working.
Stop it.
Dak got sacked on third down.
This game is hard to watch.
Tackle Mark Ingram.
Best be glad there was a holding call.
Why can't we run tight-end screens like that?
Keep passing it to Diggs, man.
I dare you, Taysom.
I dare you.
Did Jayron Kearse catch that?
He got two feet down.
What a catch.
Oh, he dragged his foot.
That's an interception.
How did Dak fit that pass into CeeDee Lamb?
How is that not pass interference on Amari Cooper?
The man's grabbing him.
Thank you.
Schultz, what a catch. We in the red zone now.
Lamb caught that with one hand.
Oh, (laughs) he was out of bounds.
It looked beautiful though.
Dak, check down the Zeke.
Gotta kick it now.
Thank you for not sucking on my birthday, Greg Zuerlein.
I appreciate you, today only.
I'm just glad we get the ball coming out the half.
Why are we still running the ball? Can someone, can anyone--
Hello? We're three and out, out of the half.
Put a spy on Taysom Hill.
Is it really that hard?
Anthony Brown got burnt again.
We 'bout to be glad Taysom ain't the one that threw that.
But don't break defense.
Brett "maybe" Maher makes it.
Did we just go three and out again?
How's that not pass interference on Tony Pollard?
He literally turned his--
I'm gonna go crazy.
That was a clean blitz pickup on Jayron Kearse.
I'll take the penalty though.
'Bout time a garbage penalty went our way.
Go, Tony Pollard, go.
(Cowboy fan yelling)
Let's go. (hands smacking)
Tony Randall Pollard is a grown man.
No angle is safe with Tony Pollard.
How many times are they going to show Taysom Hill's finger?
Let me know.
Can y'all please tackle, Taysom Hill?
This man is jumping over people, like, come on.
Micah Parsons, sack.
I'm gonna be honest, I love Micah Parsons.
Like, I love him.
I still can't believe he called Dan Quinn his weird uncle.
Did CeeDee Lamb catch that?
Hey, it doesn't matter.
We hiked the ball.
Zeke looks hurt.
We need to rest him.
The heck are we doing?
We going for it on fourth?
We're running.
That's how you hold them, defense.
They really went three and out,
down two score. (laughs)
Third down, boys. Let's get this and milk the clock.
Interception?
Dak got hit in the face, no call.
We even now, refs, we even.
We should've just called timeout.
CeeDee Lamb wasn't even safe.
Demarcus Lawrence.
Fumble. (screams)
Oh, we got that.
That's a pass.
Dang it. Fourth and eight, this the game right here.
Fourth down and eight.
They got it.
Interception, Damontae Kazee.
Let's go.
I see you tip that, Jourdan Lewis.
(hands smacking) Let's go.
Why are we throwing the ball still?
Run the clock out.
We really go three and out after that interception?
We barely took any time off the clock.
Can you dig it?
Another interception.
Dang, CeeDee Lamb got laid out by P.J. Williams.
Whoo!
Now we gotta punt again.
How do we barely take any time off the clock again?
Carlos Watkins intercepted.
Oh, he's gonna score.
He's gonna score.
He stiff-armed Taysom Hill.
One missed tackle and Harris scores a touchdown.
What is going on?
Glad we got the outside kick.
Where there's a win, I'll take it.
It didn't look good though.
I'll take this birthday win.
Let's just get healed up though.
We got 10 days.
We can still get home field advantage, honestly.
If the Packers lose some, the Bucks lose some,
we're right there.
(exhales sharply) It feels good to win again.
I will be talking trash tomorrow.
Prepare yourself, Eagles fans.
If we get everyone help then we'll be fine.
How about them Cowboys?
What do you mean there's no more cake?
Who ate the last piece?
(soft triumphant music)
I'm a grown man.