Hi. I'm Antonio. It's nice to meet you. Oh. Hey, nice to meet you too. Oh, that's okay
man let's just may be do a fist bump here. In today's video gentlemen, we're going to
talk about ten modern manner mistakes that men are making that make them look like a
fool. I'm Antonio Centeno. I'm the founder of Real
Men Real Style where we help you leverage style as a weapon to get what you want out
of life. My goal in this video is to help you identify some of these mistakes so that
you don't, you know, shoot yourself in the foot when you go in for an interview, when
you're out on a date, when you're wanting to look your best.
Now, I know that some of you guys are thinking, manners etiquette, isn't that really old fashioned?
I get it and I'm not going to be talking about tipping your hat necessarily opening doors
for people. What I'm talking about here is the importance of human interaction and how
it has actually gone up the importance of manners and etiquette as we interact with
each other less and less. Nowadays, we're, you know, just sending messages
via e-mail, we're not having as many maybe face to face meetings with clients, we're
maybe not going out on as many dates, and we have less chances to actually re-improve
upon a bad impression. So, my goal here is to arm you with ten things I see men make
mistakes on so that you don't make these mistakes. Modern manner mistake number one is that people
give their phone higher priority than they do other human beings in their presence. And
this drives me nuts because think about it, this person is there for you. You're having
a conversation and you get some random person sometimes a telemarketer sometime they'll
call and you don't even know who's calling, but you stop and you interrupt your conversation
with this other human being so that you can take some random call coming in through an
electronic device. I highly advice when you're engaging when
you're meeting with somebody, turn it on silent turn it off. Unless you're expecting maybe
your wife is about to have a baby, perhaps there's a death in the family, and your sister,
you know, who you haven't talked to for two years is calling. Yes, then have good manners
excuse yourself, keep the call brief, let the other person know you'll just be a second,
step out, take the call and then join back in. And, I'm not saying to ignore your phone,
I am saying to put the people in your presence as a higher level of priority than what's
coming in on this device. Modern manner mistake number two is saying
something online that you actually wouldn't say in person. So, whether you post it on
Facebook, whether you post it in a text or you send out an e-mail, make sure this is
something that if you were talking with a person face to face, you would still have
the courage to be able to say it. I see people post things that are hateful that are, you
know, that they wouldn't probably say directly to that person's face.
It's funny during, you know, the last couple of years, I've watched social media not and
in some ways, yes, it has bonded people, but in many a ways it's alienated people from
each other. They've talked about how just in this last political election and everything,
how a lot no one really got their mind changed, so what happened is people just unfriended
each other. So, think about what you're putting out there.
Is it something especially with politics or religion that you would actually start engaging
with this person face to face with. If so, okay, then go for it. But, if not, be careful
because once the spoken word the written word once it's out there, you can't take it back.
Modern manner mistake number three, not practicing good manners at home and thinking when they
go out that they're going to be able to flip on good manners. It doesn't work that way,
gentlemen, habit will always sabotage you. So, if you've got bad habits, the example
being at the very beginning that guy picking his nose, he doesn't necessarily even know
he's picking his nose. I've got friends that do this [Music] and they don't even know that
they're doing it and people see this and they're like, oh, okay, like I'm not going to shake
this guy's hand. Good manners, you can't just flip a switch.
Yes, but you can try and you're spending a lot of energy with your mind you're trying
to think about everything. So, by practicing good manners at home, you're able to effortlessly
when you go out have good manners and then you can focus in on the task at hand.
Modern manner mistake number four, be on time. Gentlemen, be punctual. When I was in the
Marine Corps they talked about being fifteen minutes early. That is on time, there is nothing
wrong with being at least ten to fifteen minutes early. If you're going to be late, have the
courtesy to send a text message, let people know what's going on.
Understand, when you are late, you are wasting the most valuable thing and, also, for people
that have good manners they're going to say, oh, it's okay. And they're going to put up
with it to a point, but eventually you're going to build a reputation as somebody that
can't be depended upon and you don't want that reputation. Understand somebody's time
is their most valuable asset. That's something that they can never buy more, so treat it
with respect. Modern manner mistake number five is not having
situational awareness. As men, I think it's very important that we understand what's going
on in our environment that we're aware of, okay, what's going on does somebody needs
help, is there a threat, is there something that, hey, okay, I need to watch the weather.
Understand that your environment and what goes on has a direct affect. You can just
bury your head in the sand, be checking out your phone not paying attention because what
if a friend, you know, she's stuck, right? Literally, she's out there and she can't get
in because she's got too much she's carrying. You need to be able to have the manners to
see somebody needs help when everyone else is talking engaging, be able to get up quickly
go open the door and let your friend in. And, I see people, you know, they get buried into
their own personal environment and that's a to a point that's fine, but I think as a
man you need to have situational awareness. Modern manner mistake number six, not showing
respect. And I get it you're a smart individual you got a lot to share. You're 22 years old,
you just graduated from one of the best universities in the country. And when you go into that
company though, understand that, yeah, a guy that may be doesn't have the same degree from
your school, he may be, you know, learned through ten years or experience, you need
to show respect. Because if you don't show respect, this person is never going to listen
to you, they're going to think that you're just some up star coming in and trying to
push them out of the way. And, yeah, your ideas may be sound, they may be actually right,
but that doesn't mean that you can push and dismiss what this other person has contributed
for a decade. I was that young MBA making big mistakes not
showing respect to what people had been doing and in my case it cost me my job. Now, what
I want you guys to think about, okay, how can you and I'm not saying to be be ignored
or to give up on what change you want to make happen, but I am saying show respect for experience.
The next modern manner mistake I want to talk about is constantly interrupting. Don't be
that guy that walks in and immediately starts spouting things because, again, you can't
take back what you say. And, people are, you know, if you don't really know the situation
you don't know the environment, you're constantly trying to be the guy who gets in the first
word, the last word is interrupting stepping on over people, yeah, you may get your point
across by forcibly putting it out there, but are people really going to listen, are they
going to really hear, are they going to take action on your points? I don't think so. You're
just going to build a reputation of someone that tries to be domineering, but is going
to lose credibility and respect. The next modern manner mistake I want to talk
about is the overuse of foul language. Basically, overusing curse words. And to me, when I see
somebody use the F word the S word again and again in their conversation, to me what it
symbolizes is either a bad habit or a lack of education. Basically, their lexicon is
not super, you know, they don't really know a whole lot of words which I -- I try not
to hold it against the person, but it's very difficult especially for some people who are
just not used to this type of language. Now, I have read research that talks about
the occasional use of a cursory word is a great way to add an explanation point to a
sentence, to be able to really gets emotion across, to be able to drive home and to catch
attention especially when you don't use it very often. However, understand that if you're
using it every other, you know, pretty much in every sentence that you're overusing it
and for a lot of people it's going to turn you off they're going to make a quick judgment
about you that isn't going to be in the most positive light.
The next modern manner mistake I'm going to talk about is having no patience. And I see
this from high achievers, people that are doing amazing things and they wonder why other
people aren't living up to their expectations. Hey, if I were sick I would go to work, I
put in fourteen hours a day, if I send you and e-mail at 9:00 o'clock at night, I expect
an answer because I know it goes to your personal e-mail and I expect an answer within thirty
minutes. Understand that not everyone is living for
their work. A lot of people have life going in, but have patience have empathy, put yourself
in other people's shoes understand that life happens that death happens that things pop
up and that you got impatient. I'm not saying to excuse everything, put yourself in this
other person's shoes and say, okay, is this something that I can wait twenty four hours,
can I wait before I chew them out, I can find out what was the situation. Gentlemen, try
to have patience. Another manner mistake that I see again and
again is that men are not making introductions. Now, it doesn't have to be your party for
you to be running around making introductions and I'm not saying you need to go out of your
way, but if you've been speaking with a gentleman right over here, you've got another friend
over here who you've known for years and you can tell that they don't know each other,
you make a quick introduction. Give names, that's the key. And so, you'll need to know
names, if you can't remember names, work on that, you simply have to associate their name
practice saying their name when you're engaging with the individual. But, by making those
quick introductions, you can clearly show you know your manners.
So, the final manner mistake that I want to talk about, gentlemen, is not even trying.
I see people that they're like, ah, I just was never taught any of these information,
so I'm going to completely ignore it. Well, let me give you some basic ground rules. The
difference between manners and etiquette in case you're wondering, manners are how you
make other people feel, etiquette are simply the rules of the society. So, etiquette it's
okay if you make a few etiquette mistakes, that's going to happen. You definitely want
to try to learn them to be able to show that you've actually put in the effort and the
time. But, manners are all about simply making someone feel respected making someone feel
like they're important. And that you can do it doesn't matter what
culture you're in. I've been to India, I lived in Ukraine here with my wife, I spent time
in the United States, I've been to South Africa, I've been to parts of all South America and
I can tell you that all the manners I've seen, it simply showing respect even when I don't
speak the language with people. Simply by going out of my way to very nice giving them
my full attention, I'm able to, you know, they're like I don't know what it is about
this guy, but I like them and that's what we're that's the goal that I'm shooting for
over this video. That's it guys. Let me know down in the comments
what you would add. I know there's a lot of things I could have covered with etiquette
and manners. And if you want to see more videos like this, let me know, I'll look it up probably
create some more here this year 2017. That's it guys. I'll see you in the next video.
Take care.