See that? I've come home for Christmas.
It's a wonderful feeling coming home.
Mom, bring me some more beer!
But I don't love everything here in America, and I often really miss Vietnam.
A while ago I made a video about five things in Vietnam that I can't understand,
and now I'd like to share six things in Vietnam that I wish my country would copy.
I hope you don't feel too uncomfortable talking about bathroom activities,
because I want to tell you about something I really love: the bum gun.
The bum gun?
Yeah, it's the gun that you use to clean your bum off after doing your business on the toilet.
Well, actually, it looks more like this, and instead of bullets, it has water.
Of course, you don't only find it in Vietnam. They also have it in Thailand, Malaysia,
and probably some other countries I've never been to.
Nevertheless, a lot of Americans would be pretty weirded out if you suggested they use one.
I'm supposed to use what on my what?
I was a bit weirded out at first, too, but once I got used to it, I was in love.
It's such a quick, thorough, and comfortable way to clean yourself off.
Prior to my first trip to Asia, back in 2008,
I had always thought the American way was the only sensible way,
but now, it seems like such a torturous ordeal to me.
Oh, the pain!
I don't know if it's even possible to buy and install a bum gun here in America.
I've tried my own solutions, but it's just not the same.
When you sit down to a meal in America, you've got a fork, knife, spoon, and—usually—
a plate of hamburgers, in which case the utensils are kind of useless.
But sometimes, we eat salads, and other things like that that have a lot of small pieces.
Eating salad with a fork, you always have to be finding some thicker object to stab the leaves against,
and sometimes at the end you end up just stabbing the same leaf over and over again,
hoping that it'll stick.
But with chopsticks, you just pick it right up.
Chopsticks are useful in lots of other situations, too, so why can't Americans put them on the table?
We do sometimes use chopsticks, if we go to a Japanese or Chinese restaurant,
or a phở place,
but in the average American restaurant, or the average American home,
you probably couldn't find a single pair of chopsticks.
They aren't suitable in every situation, of course, but why can't Americans just add them into the mix?
Fork, knife, spoon,
and chopsticks.
Seems like a great idea, but until it happens, I'm going to take my own chopsticks everywhere I go in this country.
The USA learning about capitalism from Vietnam might sound like a joke, but it's not.
In Vietnam, you see ordinary people doing business everywhere,
but in the US, you mostly see business done just by large corporations in prescribed areas.
As far as I can tell, there are two main reasons for this difference.
The first one is population density.
In Vietnam, people are packed in tightly, with houses close together,
so you can sell something out of your front door, and expect quite a few people to pass by,
and maybe buy what you're selling.
But in the US, houses are generally very spread out,
so there just aren't enough people around to sell something out of your front door, or out on the street.
And the second reason you see more small business in Vietnam, I think, is regulation.
It seems like in Vietnam, if you want to open a small shop, you can just do it.
But in the US, even doing very small business requires going through at least some red tape,
and the result is that a lot of people are discouraged from even trying to start.
Of course, the downside to the lack of regulation in Vietnam is that we all have to worry more about
quality, food safety, and counterfeit products.
But you know what? I'll take it.
Any country that gives me the opportunity to sell my second-hand toothbrushes with a minimum of hassle,
I support.
A lot of my friends complain about service in Vietnam, or, more specifically, northern Vietnam,
but I love it, and I can explain why in two words:
Em ơi! (Closest literal translation: "Hey, younger person!)
You can't do that in America. Here, yelling something like,
Hey you!
or
Excuse me!
across a restaurant would result in everyone looking at you like a jackass.
Now, if we lived in a perfect world, with perfect service, we would never need to get a server's attention.
But we don't live in a perfect world, so we often do need to get their attention.
But in America, there's really no effective way to do it.
You just have to sit and do idiotic things like this:
and hope that they see you.
In Hanoi, you just say,
Em ơi!
once. Or maybe twice.
Em ơi!
Or three times.
Em ơi!
And the problem is solved.
You may not know this,
but in America it's common for people to walk right into the house without taking their shoes off.
Man, you would not believe how much dog **** I stepped in out there.
Ooh, is that new carpet?
It's always seemed insane to me, even when I was really little and had never been to Asia.
Why would you not take your shoes off?
Doing so obviously keeps the house cleaner,
and most people would agree that it's more comfortable, too, right?
And for me, personally, everyone hanging out in their socks or bare feet,
somehow feels warmer and more intimate.
My whole life, I've always liked taking my shoes off as soon as I got inside,
even if I was the only one who did so.
So when I came to Vietnam, I felt like I had come home.
A country—in fact, a whole continent—
where my shoe preferences fit right in.
Paradise.
A couple nights ago, I walked out of a restaurant here looking like this:
Why?
Because there were no toothpicks on the table.
Living in Vietnam, I've gotten so used to toothpicks being on every table in every restaurant,
I don't know how I ever lived without them.
I guess that in addition to my chopsticks, I should start taking my own toothpicks everywhere I go, too.
Ok, those were six things I like more in Vietnam than in America.
So, in general, which country do I prefer to live in?
Too easy to answer.
Thanks for watching, but before you go, can we talk a bit about money?
Maybe you think making videos on YouTube means getting rich instantly,
but the reality isn't like that.
Nevertheless, I've invested quite a bit in my channel:
a new camera, a microphone, a tripod, software,
and a lot of time.
And I want to invest even more.
I'd like to introduce a way that you can support my channel.
I just created a page at Patreon,
where you can contribute money to my channel through an automated system.
That means every time I put out a new video, the amount you've chosen to give is automatically sent to me.
$1, $2, anything is okay.
You can set a monthly limit for your contribution, and if I don't post any videos, your money remains untouched.
If you feel my channel has value for you, please check out my Patreon page and give some support.
Even a small amount of money is still very meaningful.
And don't worry if you can't contribute. I'll continue making these free videos for you to watch.
Thanks for watching, guys. And thanks for the support.