my favorite part of the show I'd have to say my favorite part of the show is when we when we open
up the CBS mail it's your favorite I'd have to say it why is that well because you know uh undeniably
there's no mailbag that we're opening right it's a it's a symbolic it's a figurative mailbag opening
yes if you will and and also as you can tell from that it doesn't take much to keep me happy
and nothing could be further from the truth or farther depending on who you believe ladies and
gentlemen here we go letter number one Dear Dave may I please take over for Tony Inky Mendes please
John Summers uh Tucson Arizona they're referring to our cue card boy he's close to 60 we call him
boy anyway uh Tony Big Ink Mendez that's what he's talking about and he wants to take over uh
his job you know I want to tell you something uh I don't need the cards for this Inky put those away
uh Tony Mendez since he's been our cue card to kid on the show has become very very popular
and he's more and more people recognize him and he's becoming more and more well known
as a result here take a look at this here Tony Mendez cover boy Tony Inky cover boy Mendes take
a look at this he's right there on the cover of grown men who dress like nine-year-olds monthly
look at that have you read this one yet Tony have you seen this oh no you haven't
seen that one I haven't read that one but I read the uh scrawny talk show host bag of gas
so then honey I guess it's safe to say that you don't subscribe to Tony take
a good long look at yourself in the mirror you look like an idiot monthly
no but I subscribe to you want a piece of me Letterman well bring it up mama
for our Spanish friends bring it on mamaracho
so apparently you haven't read the latest issue of gee Tony take it easy it was just a joke
thank you very much
Tony Inky Big Ink Mendez ladies and gentlemen how about a nice hand now for the people
The Late Show graphics department and also how about a nice Hanford
our highly paid team of translators there they are
a lot of work that was a lot of work you all right buddy okay he didn't break a sweat on them
by all means continue squatting please remain squatting remain squatted
okay you're gonna put down a little towel and sell your fake Rolexes while you're down there
a pretty penny doing that um
sorry I brought the whole thing up all right letter number two Dear Dave as
you know the president was sending secret signals to Monica oh yeah do you have any
secret signals that you send to anyone uh this comes to us from your freedom
challenge fan Greg rulon number 516731 Western Missouri correctional center Cameron Missouri
that's why
that's why I love to open up the CBS mailbag no I don't uh I don't send the secret signals to anyone
during the show uh I have other things to worry about but I will say one thing the onions are
frying and ready to be painted okay letter number three let's go right on to that Dave yeah excuse
me Dad what was that what was what was that thing you just said oh I just I was answering the guy's
question he wrote in about secret signals and I just answered that letter number three I know
you said the something the onions are frying and ready to be painted now what what was that what
was that is that some kind of a secret message no no no I was just talking to our drummer Anton zip
for a second you hear what I said Anton yeah I go to Dave no problem okay good yeah foreign
that my friends is Hall of Fame comedy we'll be getting a call from Cooperstown
before you go okay right into the house paint them onions uh let's see where are we oh yeah
uh number three Dear Dave sometimes I wonder does Biff really like you this is a question
about Biff Henderson uh your fan in Richmond Indiana Kathy Ray uh well does Biff Henderson
uh I well I can't pretend to speak for Biff Let's uh find out from him himself Henderson
see you do you honestly do you honestly like me Biff are you kidding Dave of course I
do you've always been like a big brother to me well that's very nice I appreciate
that Biff that's very nice of you to say yeah we've had some great times together
foreign
everything
that's nice that's nice you like to see something like that work out you know yeah it was sweet uh
letter number four Dear Dave what do you whisper to each guest when you bring them out your pal
Aaron riojas uh Royal Oak Michigan oh we get this question a lot and when a guest comes on I used to
you know lean in and say hello thanks for coming how's the kids that kind of thing every now and
then maybe a little something different you know you want to try a little something you're feeling
some extra energy uh here's what I'm talking about remember the other night Marty Short yeah a very
talented actor comedian and very nice guy he's on yeah and he ain't here tonight but he was on the
other night and and I just I just thought well what the heck let's just try a little something
different you remember it was interesting yeah okay here take a look tonight Marty Short came out
ladies and gentlemen here's our Good Friend Martin Short
thank you