Hi, I'm Paul Friedman. I founded The Marriage Foundation and I welcome you.
The Marriage Foundation if you don't know is a non religious organization or
nonprofit but we're not politically affiliated, we're not affiliated with any
religion. This is an organization that I founded to spread these teachings that
I found that are vital for marital success and marital success means one
thing, a joyous marriage. So, with that we're going to get into this video. By
the way, if you like this video please subscribe, share it, let other people know
about these teachings. We want to get them spread far and wide. This is about
marital communication and in order for you to really be successful
communicating within your marriage you have to have some basic understanding
and that's what this video is about. How is marital communication different from
other communication? And it's really quite fascinating, people don't realize
let me find a little marker here, that when they get married what they're doing
is they're getting into what I call the sacred space. The sacred space of
marriage and you come in as an individual. You could be a woman, you
could be a man; it doesn't matter but what does matter is that you're coming
in primarily. Because remember, as a human being you are a composite your body, mind,
and soul or heart you could say.
And you have a body, and you have a mind but you are a soul and in the rest of
the world which is all out here it's all outside of your sacred space of marriage.
There's one thing that is overwhelming isn't there; survival. And let's be very
very honest, not everybody but pretty much everybody wants something from you.
They put themselves ahead of you. If you buy a couch the salesman is looking for
his commission. When you go into motor vehicle department, the person who really
has no agenda is gonna make you abide by their rules.
Nothing is for you in the world. The world is almost out to get you it's just
set up that way because every individual is about surviving. And so, in the world
all of your communication has to be based on you surviving because if you
don't, if you're not weary you're going to lose to one degree or another. But
once you get married you're entering into a very special relationship that is
based on love. Isn't it so? It's amazing how we know this but we forget it and
the cool thing about marriage is that it's a setup so that you could be
successful in this unique realm your marriage there's just two of you. And
these two of you bring in your mind and your body but always for a special purpose
and that is to promote, to build the love so it's different. Outside of your
marriage it's about survival, inside of your marriage it's about love.
I don't know how more different it could be. As a result of that your
communication needs to be based on and here's where people get messed up. It
needs to be based on giving. In the world, in contrast number one, you're about
protecting that's number one requirement in worldly living and so communication.
And number two, taking because the more you take the more you have. The more you
have the more secure you have that's the world, this is worldly communication. So
protecting means things like defending yourself it's like you get pulled over
for speeding very very few people you may be different but most people go, "Was
I speeding?" Which is pretty transparent but its
defensive its protecting and you go in to buy something and you're looking for
the deal because you want to take. You want to make sure that you are taken
care of. In marriage however, if you do that you've literally undermine the very
substance of your marriage so we'll get into this in other videos of course but
this is very important to keep in mind. Why? Because here's the to do with
this.
I'm not gonna just leave you with this simple that's almost philosophical so
your to-do's to manifest this. Number one, your speech, your actions, and
your thoughts. I don't know if I spelled that right. They all should be geared
towards giving love and you may say, what if? I've heard that about a billion
squared times. It doesn't matter, doesn't matter. You're in your marriage for the
one purpose of love, both experiencing it, learning how to feel it, learning how to
give it. And so there's only three actions you know speech actions and
thoughts and feelings you might say which are part of thoughts. all of them
should be geared towards this and that is the summary. That's it. That's the
differentiator between marriage communication and all other
communications. Thank you, and hope to see you in some of the other videos. Now
remember, if your marriage -- this is all fun and it's great, and enhances your
marriage but if your marriage is in trouble you might want to read one of my
books. If it's in serious trouble you'll want to take the course because our
whole thing at The Marriage Foundation is to help you with your marriage and
that's it. Blessings to you.