♪ Intro Music ♪
Hello everyone ...
Happiness has become the new 'Enlightenment',
the new Heaven,
an unattainable goal,
a Finish Line that keep receding.
When Spiritual Teachers, including myself,
emphasize the importance and the value of happiness,
something interesting happens -
people start to feel as if something has gone wrong
if they aren't happy -
that only adds unhappiness to Unhappiness.
There is a kind of shame that arises within us
when we are unhappy.
This is especially painful
when we identify with being Unhappy.
Some of us don't have any idea what Happiness really is
because we've never felt it.
We feel the very worst about ourselves
because we can't seem to get life 'right'
and be happy like other people can.
We begin to feel like we are karmically destined to suffer.
This issue of attaching to Happiness
is just a branch off of the tree
of trying to get life 'right'.
When we feel as if we are happy
we feel like we are getting our life right.
When we feel like we are unhappy
we feel like we are getting our life wrong.
So we hold the belief that we *should* be happy
even when we aren't happy.
That compounds unhappiness - it perpetuates it.
When we think that we *should* be happy when we're not happy
we start to resist our negative emotions.
We feel bad about them.
I've said it a million times before, and I'm saying it again:
Whatever we resist, persists ...
So, in thinking that we should be happy,
in pushing against our negative emotions
we stay stuck in those negative emotions.
When we become resistant to suffering and to our own unhappiness
the desire for happiness no longer feels good,
it feels desperate
because we want something we don't think we can have.
We want happiness but we don't think we can have it.
So we are focused on suffering and on unhappiness.
So what's the best thing we can do?
Give up on Happiness ...
This may sound odd and like a bit of a contradiction
coming from someone like me,
who has dedicated their life
to teaching people to reach Happiness.
But what you find
is that these contradictory ideas
are, in fact, complementary.
If you give up on Happiness
you are releasing resistance to suffering
and/or unhappiness.
Imagine that you lived your life
in a continually-flowing gale-force wind -
when you are resisting something
it's as if you're turned against that air current, face-first.
It's hard to breathe,
it's hard to move because you're pushing against
that strong air current,
it's exhausting.
When you stop resisting something
you allow the gale-force wind to blow you
wherever *it* wants to take you.
Now imagine that this gale-force wind has one prerogative
and that's to take you to everything that you've been asking for,
to take you to that which is wanted.
Now, do you see the benefit of going with the wind?
The Universe *is* this gale-force wind.
I'm sure you've all heard of somebody
who wanted a promotion for years.
They wanted it desperately.
They tried everything they could think of to get that promotion.
Until, one day, it became so painful to want that promotion
that they gave up on it
and, instead, they started looking for a new job.
And within hours or days, they got that phone call
telling them that they got the job.
Now, it's tempting to think that is an ironic, cruel joke
that's being played by a malevolent Universe.
But the reality is,
in the moment that the person gave up on that desire
they released resistance to what they did not want.
And releasing resistance to what you don't want
allows you to flow in the direction of what is wanted.
You can't cause yourself to un-want something.
So the person in this scenario didn't not-want the promotion,
(you can't un-want something you want)
so, even though they still had that desire,
giving up on getting it
allowed them to release enough resistance
that they got it.
The Universe already knows you want to be happy.
That is the only thing you really ever wanted anyway.
Everything else - that promotion,
that boyfriend or girlfriend,
that house, that car -
is just a means to that end,
which is Happiness ...
Not only does the Universe know that you want happiness,
the Universe is calling you towards it,
pushing you towards it ...
It is arranging all necessary conditions for your happiness.
The only way the Universe
can achieve more Expansion through *your* perspective
is if you manage to align-with and experience your own desires.
So, believe me,
the Universe will facilitate your happiness
every step of the way.
So what happens if you let yourself
release resistance to being unhappy?
What happens if you let yourself go with the wind?
You allow yourself to flow in the direction of what you want -
which is Happiness.
Think of this like a back-door entry to Happiness.
All of the various beliefs that perpetuate unhappiness
like they were karmically destined to suffer -
they turn us against that gale-force wind that is the Universe.
They make it so that we are in a state of resistance.
But sometimes,
the state of resistance
that is the most painful and does the most damage to us
is our desperate quest for happiness.
When we become desperate for something
that's because we have an acute awareness
of the absence of that thing in our life.
That's why the feeling of Need has been identified
as a feeling which comes from a space of Lack.
That means that you are focused on the absence
of whatever it is that you want
and you can't be focused on the lack or absence of something
and get what you want, at the same time -
it's a Vibrational contradiction.
Sometimes our awareness of our unhappiness,
and desperate desire for happiness,
is so strong
that the path of least resistance
is to release our attachment to Happiness altogether.
When Happiness ceases to be our goal
where we are cannot be wrong or lacking in any way
because you cannot compare your 'now'
to your imagined future happiness.
You cannot feel bad because you aren't there yet,
when there isn't anywhere to get to.
You cannot cause yourself to not-want Happiness
because you cannot cause yourself to un-want
something that you want.
But you can change your focus
so that you're not focusing on the Now
as if the Now is unwanted.
The best way to let go of the destination we call Happiness
is to fall in-love with what-Is - fall in-love with the Now.
The only reason that any Being suffers
is because they are currently believing a thought
that contradicts what-Is.
The 'should' thoughts are the best example of this.
If I am thinking 'I should be happy' and I'm not -
I'm believing a thought that contradicts what-Is.
I'm in resistance to Me in my current state.
Our stress in life is caused by arguing with what-Is.
Embrace the idea that what happened
*should* have happened and was supposed to happen.
Embrace the idea that nothing can go wrong -
that everything that happens to us
is actually happening *for* us.
The reality is, no one wants to lose their job
or have an argument with a loved-one
or get into an accident ...
But when we don't have complete control over our Vibrations,
and thus, our Point-of-Attraction, these things happen.
None of us maintains our Vibration at a level
where nothing ever happens to cause us
to feel negative emotion.
And so, it isn't helpful to mentally argue
with the things that happened
by thinking 'That *shouldn't* have happened',
or 'I *should* be happy right now, even though '
'this is happening to me'.
It is much better to begin switching your focus
to embrace what is right-here and now.
Besides, if none of us are able to maintain a state
where nothing ever happens to cause us to feel negative emotion,
maybe we're *not meant* to maintain a Vibrational state
where nothing happens to ever cause us to feel negative emotion.
Focus at what-Is with the Intention
of looking for what is right about it.
What is right about what-Is?
We want to focus for the positives
inherent within the unwanted things.
This does not only allow us to release resistance
and thus, feel emotionally better,
it also makes it so we're changing
our Vibrational Point-of-Attraction
so we can't be a match to the unwanted thing anymore.
I'll give you an example:
One day, I was on my way to a date I'd been looking forward to
for weeks.
I was super-excited ...
And, of course,
I'm the kind of person who tends to feel
as if I don't deserve things to go well.
So when I was on my way, my car broke down ...
After my car broke down,
I was sitting there
(after two men pushed my car to the side of the road)
thinking 'This shouldn't be happening',
'Why is this happening to me?',
'The Universe seriously *is* out to get me'.
I was spiraling with that kind of thought process.
I realized that it wasn't going to get me anywhere
(because I already understand the Law of Attraction)
so I pulled out my Positive Aspects journal.
I sat down,
I started listing all of the Positives that I could think
about that particular situation I found myself in.
So, on the top of the page, I wrote down
'My Car Broke Down.'
I made myself write a list of Positive Aspects
about the car breaking down.
I tried to look for proof that the car breaking down
was right instead of wrong.
For example:
- I broke down right next to the pull-off
on the side of the road ...
- the model of car I'm driving is simple to fix ...
- the electricity in the car still works,
so I'm listening to good music ...
- there are tons of people willing to help, in the city ...
- this is an opportunity to practice being flexible ...
- I'm happy that I'm focusing positively
instead of negatively, right now ...
- I have no way of knowing that the date would be enjoyable
or in Alignment with my highest good ...
- the leaves are blowing around on the street,
and they are artistically beautiful ... etc.
I felt my mood lift.
I felt relief.
I was no longer in resistance
to the fact that my car broke down.
And you know what happens when you release resistance
to your car being broken down?
My car restarted - as the tow-truck was on its way to me -
it started as if nothing had ever happened.
We can take this one step further
when we have developed resistance to being unhappy
because we want happiness so badly,
by looking for positives about being unhappy.
Find approval for Unhappiness.
Start to look at being unhappy as if something has gone right.
How is it 'right' for me to be unhappy?
I'll give you some examples:
- I suffered a big disappointment,
anyone in my position would feel this way or worse.
- Being unhappy causes me to know strongly what I don't want
and thus, strongly, what I *do* want.
Strong Desires = Big Expansion.
- It gives me clarity on my preferences.
- I am facilitating Universal Expansion
by allowing the Universe to know through my eyes
what It Is-Not.
- If we only experience happiness,
we don't know what Happiness is.
- Experiencing unhappiness leads us to self-exploration
and self-discovery and introspection.
It facilitates self-awareness.
- Being unhappy helps me to relate
to other people that are unhappy.
It can bring people together
so there is an opportunity for collective healing.
- It makes for some really poignant art.
- Unhappiness is very grounding
and it puts into perspective what really matters.
- Being unhappy makes you so uncomfortable
that it forces you to have to forward
and to get unstuck in one way or another.
Another thing we can do to let go of Happiness
so as to get happiness,
is to set a more attainable goal than Happiness.
To most of us, happiness seems so far outside of our reach
we don't believe it's attainable.
And because of that belief, it *isn't* attainable.
So what we need to do,
is to find something which seems more attainable,
that is on-the-way to Happiness,
but is not all-the-way there.
It is up to you to decide
what feels like an attainable desire for you.
One example of a more attainable desire is:
Three Moments of Contentment per Day.
Another example of a more attainable desire is:
A Feeling of Fulfillment at least One Time each Day.
Once you set your attainable goal
you can facilitate it on a daily basis.
You will find that reaching this particular goal
is a lot easier than trying to strive for Happiness.
To most of us,
trying to reach for Happiness
is like trying to jump from here to the Moon,
as opposed to jumping a ditch.
So, what you want to do,
is set little goals, 'little ditches' on the way to the Moon,
instead of forcing yourself to jump all that way,
because when you're looking at the distance
between where you are and where you want to be
(when where you want to be is Happiness)
you will become completely discouraged -
as opposed to looking at where you are
and where you want to be,
when where you want to be seems like
it's an attainable place to be.
Another way of letting go of Happiness
is to realize that Happiness for you is a goal.
Because of this, it is like a receding Finish Line
or a Horizon Line that you will never cross.
The closer you move to what you think Happiness is,
the further it goes off into the distance.
When Happiness is about attaining your desires
(and your desires will never cease Expanding)
you will never truly achieve happiness.
Sometimes, realizing that you will never achieve
the goal of Happiness
helps you to stop chasing it in the distance
and find a contentment with where you are.
Contentment does not mean resignation.
It doesn't make you lazy or passive or apathetic.
Doing this just helps you to be able to enjoy
the process of Life instead of obsessively chase
the promise of future happiness.
When you are stuck in negative emotions,
you do not have access to pure, positive emotional states.
In fact, all focus on pure, positive, emotional states
like Happiness does,
is to allow you to feel where you *aren't*.
To allow you to feel how happy you *aren't*.
It increases the gap
between where you are and where you want to be.
Which is why, sometimes,
the best way to let go of Happiness
is to stop focusing on Happiness
and start focusing on Relief instead.
No matter where you are, Vibrationally and emotionally,
you always have access to the feeling of Relief.
And Relief is the by-product of Release.
Release causes Relief.
When you are feeling guilty,
thinking a thought which is an Angry-feeling thought
causes you to feel relief
because that thought causes you to
release your attachment to guilt.
That release of guilt
causes you to feel the relief
of moving into the emotional space of Anger.
So it's the release of a negative emotional state
that causes the sensation of relief
when you're going in the direction
of a positive emotional state.
You're allowing yourself to flow
in the direction that that gale-force wind
wants to push you.
I want to repeat this, cause it's so important:
Any release of a lower Vibration
and movement into a higher Vibration
will feel emotionally like relief -
so chase Relief instead of Happiness.
Perhaps the best way to do this
is to become aware of the only choice that exists for you
in the present moment.
At all moments of the day, you have one option:
'Better or Worse?'
The thought - 'Which feels better or worse?' ...
The words - 'Which feel better or worse?' ...
The actions - 'Which feel better or worse?' ...
If you are able to live your day,
thought by thought, word by word, action by action,
in the direction of what feels *better*,
then you are flowing with the current of the Universe,
in the direction of what is wanted
(and what is wanted is happiness)
so you're allowing yourself to flow
in the direction of Happiness.
Choosing what feels better will feel like relief.
Choosing what feels worse will feel like stress.
So, live your life,
not according to happiness
but according to what feels *better*.
Thoughts are what cause us to feel unhappy.
And a thought is powerless and painless until we believe it.
Have mercy for your thoughts - meet them with understanding.
They are not out to get you,
they are not hell-bent on hurting you.
If you can stop believing the thoughts you think,
if you can withhold your commitment
to whether they are true or not,
they have no power over the way you feel.
You are not your suffering,
you are not your story,
you are not even your identity.
Nothing has gone 'wrong' if you are suffering.
If you're suffering or feeling something which is unwanted,
you are exploring the conditions necessary for you
to know what *is* wanted.
All you need to do to go in the direction of what is wanted
is to allow yourself to choose to go in the direction
of what feels emotionally better.
Our attachment to Happiness,
and our striving towards happiness
is what causes us to resist unhappiness,
and thus, perpetuate it, in our own lives.
So, here I am today, telling you -
If you wanna be happy, release your attachment to Happiness.
Stop making Happiness your ultimate goal.
It already is the reason you do everything that you do,
and the Universe knows that.
So, we have to get to a space (if we want to be happy)
where we understand that happiness is not something out there
which you attain,
Happiness is an ever-present essence
which must, instead, be Allowed ...
Have a good week ...
♪ Outtro Music ♪
Subtitles by the Amara.org community