- The fear is,
if I let this thing go,
then it's not gonna come around.
If I let go of the outcome of something,
then I'm not actually going to receive it.
I'm not actually gonna be able to get what I want.
But see, that's the furthest thing from the truth.
What actually happens
is the more attachment we have to outcome,
the more attachment we have to people.
The more attachment we have to certain situations,
the more resistance we also have.
And think about it.
Think to your own life,
the more you've wanted something,
the more you've tried to control the situation,
the more energetically people can feel that.
And the more off putting it is to people as well.
So it's actually like imagine the universe is conspiring
to give you what is in vibrational alignment to you.
But if we're hammering in the vibration and the energy of,
"I hope this thing goes well.
I hope this thing goes well.
I hope this person gets back to me.
I hope this happens.
I hope this happens."
Then there's resistance created.
And also the energy is that right
here in the present moment right now,
there's resistance.
It's not what I want it to be.
So the thing is, is the belief that's there,
is I must control what other people are doing.
I must control how other people perceive me.
And then what'll happen is everything will work out.
The thing is, is it's not how it works.
You must actually let go
to then allow things to happen smoothly.
You can still have an intention by the way.
You can have an intention,
but when the intention is also on a means to an end,
that also causes problems.
For example,
if I have this intention
that I'm going to be vulnerable to someone else,
because there's a conversation I need to have,
maybe it's even a hard conversation to have.
If the intention is I want this person to come around
and understand me and I want this person to act
and be a certain way, that's attachment to outcome.
And that is also a form of control.
It's a form of manipulation
that other people can feel by the way too.
People can feel when someone else wants something from them.
But instead, if my intention is I'm going to be vulnerable,
I'm gonna lead with vulnerability,
and share something that is kind of uncomfortable to share
and see how this person responds.
That's an end of itself.
I am being vulnerable because it's who I choose to be,
not because of the result it will get me.
Now the interesting thing is that when you are vulnerable,
that normally is a heart opening experience.
Other people can also feel that.
And a lot of times when you lead with vulnerability,
you create an opening for someone else to have an opening
and you go deeper with a connection.
Now, in an interesting way,
I'll share something with you that's somewhat vulnerable,
but it has to do with,
it has to do with some people on my team.
It has to do with a certain area of my business.
And there were certain things that,
there was this situation that was happening
to where things just felt very much out of alignment.
And basically what happened is the team and I got together
and we decided that something was out of alignment
and we had to have this hard conversation with someone.
And it was a conversation that was not comfortable.
And the intention was,
let's be vulnerable and let's see what happens.
Because we just have to get it out.
We can't let this energy go underneath.
There's something that feels out of alignment.
So the interesting thing was there was certain people
on the team that wanted certain outcome
and there's certain people that wanted a different outcome
out of this.
Like they had their own opinions about it.
The funny thing is there was like this budding
of heads on the team and it was almost like
the more attached to our positions we were,
the more the other people could feel that.
And the more this like tension was created.
What eventually happened is all of us let go of the outcome.
We let go and said, "Whatever's happened will happen
but we need to have this conversation."
And we had this vulnerable conversation,
and the interesting thing was that the moment
we let go is the moment everything began to smooth out.
The more we were able to open up.
The more we were able to express this in a conversation,
and it brought us all a lot closer.
But the funny thing is,
is there was like on,
because we had different perspectives of this situation,
which I'm not gonna go into the details of.
It was like as long as we were attached to positions,
we were each like in our own way.
The people that were thought this way versus this way,
would feel that almost like energy.
And we're almost like banging heads
against each other where we didn't get on the same page.
The moment we let go,
and the moment we started trusting,
what is this sign telling us?
Was the moment everything kind of flowed through.
Now that's sometimes what happens with reality with us,
where we have the a specific way
we want something to happen.
We have a specific way we want someone to respond,
and what this energy ends up doing,
is it ends up creating resistance.
It ends up repelling the very thing
from coming in alignment with you.
So the thing to understand about letting go,
is letting go is really about getting clear
as to your own values for end of itself values.
Now what this means is instead of doing something
to get something else,
which is called manipulation,
instead of doing that,
being a specific way because it's who you choose to be
and understand as well,
when something comes into your reality,
and when you become the version of you where it is natural
for you to have what you want,
or you know what you desire or intend for,
it's not this huge thing on a pedestal.
So like I live in this reality where it is natural
for me to make YouTube videos.
Where it is natural for me to travel the world.
Where it is natural for me to have abundance.
It's not like, "Oh, I must make this.
I must do this. I must do that."
It's also probably because I've taken action
a certain amount of time so it's shifted my identity,
but I've become this YouTuber version of myself that loves
being this way and it feels authentic.
Actually it's starting to feel a little bit different now,
because now I'm actually wiring in a version
of me that is like doing live events.
Where I'm passionate about live events,
not just making YouTube videos.
Kind of the same way I've been making them for years.
And there's a fear that comes up with letting go
of that old identity.
If I let go of making five videos a week on YouTube,
oh my God!
What's gonna happen?
It's brought me so much security
and safety for so long for five years.
But there's this inner trust that I have,
this inner knowing that if I don't let go also,
I think things will continue to like,
synchronicities will continue to happen.
That creates a lot of resistance.
Have you ever had that happen?
There's something maybe you know you should let go of,
but you hold onto it anyways and then from holding onto it,
there's just these negative synchronicities
that continue to happen almost just showing you like,
"Bro, it's just time to let go man.
Let go.
Let go of the outcome.
Let go of what people think.
Let go of this thing and allow things
to come into your reality in a different way."
The fear is if I let go, everything's gonna fall apart.
Because maybe as a kid you let go of something
and something sporadic happened.
Something unknown happened and there was fear there.
The power though is in the recognition
that as you begin to develop a deeper sense of trust
with yourself, and a deeper sense of trust with the divine,
you can then allow these things to go through.
Like imagine if there's...
Imagine that there's these infinite threads
of reality of where things could come into your life,
there's literally like so many different types
of connections, so many different forms
of abundance that could flow into your life.
But what happens is there's this insistence
that I needed to come through this little thread over here.
And also it's normally a familiar thread that you experience
in childhood that simply feels familiar.
So I need one of these three,
I need these three threads right here.
I need it to come through this way.
And then through having the insistence
on those little threads,
there's all these other threads where magic
and even situations beyond what you can imagine
could come into your life,
but you can't even see it because we're just focused
on the three threats that a lot of times just feel familiar.
When we talk about the divine, realize the divine,
this connection greater
than ourselves has ways of bringing things
into our lives that we can't even imagine.
But our ego self,
our avatar self is fighting for familiarity.
It is fighting to stay the same.
It is fighting for what it knows
and for what it thinks it knows.
The ego thinks it knows I want this familiar thread.
I want this thing that I believe is gonna be good
and this is how it's gonna come into my life.
Giving all these rules for reality,
creating all this resistance
and only focus on these three threads,
not knowing that if you let go,
and you started focusing more on end of itself values.
And what I mean by that is just following your passion,
having courage to jump into the unknown,
having vulnerability to open your heart.
As you start focusing on who you are being,
you then don't have to be attached
because it's not attachment always comes
from a means to an end.
Think about that.
If I treat this person this way,
then they're gonna treat me this way.
If I tell them this, then maybe this will happen.
If I do things this way, it's all means to an end.
Manipulation.
It's saying, "I don't trust the universe.
I don't trust God.
I don't trust myself to like figure it out in the moment.
Therefore I need things to be this specific way."
So the purpose of this video
and the purpose of what I'm sharing
is to help you understand that,
yes, in the past maybe it felt safe
to like attach to the known because the known,
even if it's not pleasant, it's what you know.
And the ego wants to do everything
it can to remain consistent to what is familiar to it.
To the way it defines itself also.
You define yourselves as a person making 20 grand a year.
You'll take action, think, feel
and act equal to that 20 K year.
And that's why it's about really getting honest
with yourself and letting go of the past identities.
Letting go of the past belief systems.
Letting go of the attachment
and the resistance that comes along with the familiar,
but instead of means to an end,
what I would recommend you do is you focus
more on things that are an end of itself and a trusting.
What is your relationship with the universe?
What is your relationship with your dad?
With your mom?
You know, when we grow up,
if mom or dad somehow broke our trust,
because they broke their word,
something happened, they left, abandonment,
then we start to develop belief that says,
"I can't trust, people always leave me."
We have these autopilot subconscious beliefs.
And if something happened
especially I find when it comes to the masculine,
cause I believe a lot of times when it comes to purpose,
it's related to more masculine energy.
And this is why one thing I recommend is sometimes,
yeah, maybe our parents
couldn't give us exactly what we needed in certain ways.
They're doing the best they could with where they were.
But maybe if our needs weren't met as a kid
and we have these beliefs that like around feminine energy
or masculine energy,
what I found to be so powerful is begin to develop trust
with something greater than even the ego constructs,
the avatars of our parents.
And you can heal those relationships.
But also you can realize that with the divine mother
as Paramahansa Yogananda talked
about a lot about an autobiography of a yogi book,
"The Divine Mother, Mother Earth, Mother Gaia,"
grounding yourself in nature, getting on grass.
It's a way of connecting to the Divine Mother,
Divine Father.
In connect to that with the sky, with the sun,
with the stillness, silence.
And as you start to trust God,
the divine,
you realize that you can let these things go
from the ego perspective.
Somebody asks at a live event that I did last week,
they said, what?
"It seems like there's this collective thread
of unworthiness that everybody feels.
Why did we all collectively decide to experience this thread
of unworthiness?"
And I really felt into that and I had some awareness come
to there because I believe that one of the reasons
we decided to experience the theme of unworthiness
is because it helps us become a aware of something greater
than ourselves.
It helps a lot of us seek the divine,
to connect with the divine, to connect to God,
whatever name you wanna call it.
This energy is always flowing through us.
But when we believe I'm not worthy,
when we believe these things that's when the pain comes.
And it's about becoming aware of the belief
and letting it go.
At this perspective when it comes to worthy you say,
"You don't have to try to talk yourself into being worthy."
It's not like we put on affirmations we go,
"I am worthy. I am worthy.
I am worthy. I am worthy."
And the same way like a baby,
you wouldn't put affirmations on a baby that says,
"I'm worthy. I am worthy.
I am worthy. I'm worthy."
Because a baby is worthy just because it exists.
None of us would argue that babies aren't,
I don't think there'd be many people
that would say no babies aren't worthy.
Of course a baby's worthy
and a baby's worthy for just being itself.
Doesn't have to do anything else.
Doesn't have to like cry for only two minutes a day,
then it's a worthy baby.
So what happens is at a certain point in our past,
we started growing up
and we started taking on attachments and beliefs that said,
"I'm not worthy."
But the key is not trying
to get ourselves to feel worthy again,
it's just letting go of the belief that we're not worthy
and it'll naturally raise back up.
Because also I think I have a unique perspective on this.
I think that both we are all worthy
and also we're not all worth, worthy is this human concept.
Everything just is.
So we can say, "Is this remote here?
Is this worthy?"
It's just a freaking remote,
but we develop a whole story to it.
"This remote isn't worthy
because this one time this thing happened
and the button wouldn't turn on when I wanted it to.
So I threw it in the corner and it stayed
there for three weeks and it started to develop
this personality construct that said, 'I'm not worthy.'"
And I say, "Okay,
well, just start telling yourself you're worthy.
Here's some affirmations.
'I'm worthy. I am worthy'
I am worthy.'"
It's more so just about being,
I think when you bring the energy I the presence,
in the present moment you realize everything just is.
You start to connect more to a greater sense of yourself
and realize the universe doesn't make mistakes.
Everything has a purpose.
I'm looking at grass and trees, birds and bees.
These all things have a purpose
and the purpose is just to exist.
But in this, it's like universe doesn't make mistakes.
So if you exist, you exist for a reason.
You are worthy to exist.
Otherwise you wouldn't be here.
This is something I've heard from Bashir before
but it's just like,
it's realizing that you start to really understand
that if anything fighting to be unworthy
is like fighting for a sense of like almost significance.
Saying, "I'm the one thing in reality,
everything else is worthy,
everything else has purpose but me,
I'm the one thing that doesn't."
So by becoming aware of these energies
and letting go of what doesn't serve,
letting go of these beliefs,
letting go of these attachments,
letting go of all this is really the key
to your transformation.
It really is the key to your freedom.
And a lot of times that does take getting back
to the inner child's self that had to attach
itself in order to feel safe.
So one of the most powerful meditations
and things I recommend you do is download a free meditation.
It's my inner child meditation,
been downloaded like 50,000 plus times.
And it is so powerful for connecting to your inner child
and energetically letting those attachments go
so that you can be free.
And as you do that, it changes everything in your life.
So if you haven't downloaded that meditation yet,
you can go to www.aarondoughty.com/child
or I'll put it in the top description box below.
Also, if you want a video that will show
you more about how to let go
and to feel the emotion you feel,
which is a big part of this healing.
Here's a video I did at a recent live event
here in Austin, Texas that I was mentioning.
Check that video out right here.
Feeling is the healing.
Can everyone say that?
- [Audience] Feeling is the healing.
- Normally in the law of attraction community
and some of like the new age teachings,
it's like, "Oh if I am feeling fear..."