-You're watching the Disney Channel.
We now return to the 1992 "Aladdin",
when Aladdin was still white.
[ Audience laughs ]
-Wow, from up here,
we can see the entire Middle East,
you know, where I'm from.
-This is so beautiful, Aladdin.
I've never gotten to see what it's like outside of the palace.
But it's even better seeing it with you.
-Jasmine, there's something I need to tell you.
-What -- What's the matter?
Do you feel so self-conscious because I'm the daughter
of a sultan and you're just a lowly street rat?
-Well, I think "street rat" might be a slur, but okay, uh,
it's -- it's not that.
-Are you intimidated that I'm friends with a ton of
wealthy celebrities and your only friend is a monkey?
-Uh, again, not nice.
But it's something else.
Uh, Jasmine,
as we start getting more, [clears throat] you know,
intimate, uh, I'm just a little concerned that
physically, uh, I can't handle you.
-What do you mean?
-I -- I mean that i-if we -- if we go all the way,
you might, like, break me.
You know? Like -- Like, my thing might just, like, break.
-Don't be silly. -I wish I was being silly,
but look at us. You're a-a lot of woman
and I'm so frail because all I eat is stolen bread.
-Oh, my God. Aladdin, relax.
I really like you, I really do.
-And I really like you, too.
I want to do everything with you, you know?
See the world and laugh together and sing songs
and -- and do sex.
-I wouldn't call it "doing sex."
-I'm just...
I'm worried that if I try to go in, I --
I might not make it in all the way there.
-Aladdin, don't worry.
I'm sure you're more than enough man for me.
-Oh, thanks, Jasmine.
Hey, um, out of curiosity, what were your other boyfriends like?
-Well, I guess I dated a few athletes and some rappers,
and I dated the King of Uganda for a while, and that was crazy.
[ Laughs ] -[ Laughs nervously ]
-Oh, hey, Jasmine, cool carpet.
-Oh, hey, Jourtney.
That's my sister, Jourtney. We all have "J" names.
-And this is my new boyfriend,
Ezekiel Elliott of the Dallas Cowboys.
[ Audience laughs ]
-Sup, Jasmine?
Hey, little dude.
Jasmine taking you on a little carpet ride
for your little birthday?
-You don't have to say "little" in front of everything,
and i-it's actually my carpet.
-Oh, that's nice.
Little guy's got his own little carpet.
-You like sports, little guy?
-Hey, you want an autographed ball for your little birthday?
-I don't -- I mean, sure, yeah, actually. Yeah.
-What was it? Al Ladder?
You know what, I'm-a just put "Little Al." [ Chuckles ]
-There you go, buddy. -Oh, whoops.
Oh, his tiny hands dropped the ball.
-Well, bye Jasmine, bye little Al. [ Laughs ]
-Both: Whee!
-Okay, now, where were we?
-Jasmine, I-I don't think I can do this.
I mean, I want to, but, you know, when you sat on my lap
the other day, I think you could
you know? -Oh.
I thought that was just a roll of Lifesavers.
[ Audience laughs ]
-All right, that's it. Genie. Please, Genie.
[ Magical music plays ]
-You summoned?
-Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm ready to use my third wish.
-Oh, wow! The one where you were saving to set me free?
-Yeah, we're going to scrap that. You see, uh,
I want you to make me like Pinocchio, but, like,
down there.
-You don't have to wish for that.
-It's fine. They always promise me freedom,
but at the end of the day,
it's always bigger penis.
As you wish.
[ Magical music plays ]
-Oh, wow!
Thanks Genie! Check it out, Jasmine!
-[ Gasps ] Wow, that is better,
even though it's the wrong color.
But you -- you really didn't have to do that.
I mean, I like you just the way you are.
Now, are you going to kiss me or not?
-I sure am, Jasmine.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Move over, King of Uganda!
Oh, no! He didn't give me balls!
-♪ A whole new world ♪
♪♪