♪ The way that you are, oh, the way that you are ♪
- Hi guys, Tusk here.
Today I'm gonna be talking about why cold approach
is actually really fucking hard
and why you should almost revel in the fact
you're gonna get a lot of rejection from this
because the more you accept that rejection
the more it takes the sting out of it.
I guess touching on another topic I've covered recently
about the pickup industry being completely oversold,
the reality of the nature of this beast is
you're casting a big net out over a cross section of girls
when you walk along the street
and you're gonna do some approaches.
Some girls just won't like how you look.
Some girls won't like your style.
Some girls won't like your walk.
Some girls are gonna be married.
Some girls are gonna have boyfriends.
Whatever, you're gonna go a lot more nos than yeses.
It's just how it is.
So, you're taking I guess lots of small nos,
or lots of girls saying no, to then flip the stones
and find a girl that's a yes girl or a maybe girl.
And that's where you're gonna have success.
But I will go out, for me, it's very much
about accepting that.
I go out and I'll try and get rejected
as quickly as possible.
I'm constantly rejected, especially because I'm going out
and I'm getting, going out with guys teaching them.
The guys want to see me doing demos
in all sorts of ridiculous situations
like in Victoria's Secret where there's
a little staff meeting of all the staff.
They want me to go over and try an open.
Of course the occasional time something strange
like that is gonna work, but most of the time
I'm gonna get horribly rejected.
But the very fact I'm willing to put myself on the line
and just go for it I guess stands me apart
from the average guy that's been doing this
for a couple of months.
But yeah, I'm constantly rejected.
I'm gonna show you some clips now of me
getting blown out in the street
and the point of this is is just to say it's okay.
It doesn't matter.
At least you've gone for it.
Rejection is better than regret.
If you see that stunning girl walking along the street
it turns out ten times out of ten I went up to her
and she goes, "Look, I'm not interested."
I feel fine, whereas if I saw that girl
tens times in a row walking along
and I don't do anything about it despite the fact
I know I find her attractive.
If I can't even summon the courage to say hi,
I feel really bad and it gets to me.
Yeah, because it's not being genuine to yourself.
You've gotta own this, so embrace the rejections.
Be a man, it's not like you're gonna die.
As bad as it sounds, it's just a girl basically saying,
"Oh, I'm not interested, sorry."
Just partly ego, it's not that big a deal in life.
But yeah, watch this clip and have a laugh with it.
It's quite fun.
- Another time let's grab a drink.
- I have a boyfriend, so I'm
- Do you? - Yes.
- Well look, everyone, every girl has a boyfriend
at some stage in their life, right?
- No, I don't really think it's necessary.
- You don't think it's an accessory?
- No, necessary.
- What's having a boyfriend?
- No, necessary to exchange numbers.
- What, you don't find me attractive?
- No, you are really nice.
- Oh, I see.
- Well, I have to get in there with my boyfriend
for a little bit, so.
- Okay, lovely to meet you.
- Bye.
- Excuse me, this is very, very forward.
Stop for one sec, hello, stop, I had to say
- I'm seeing someone, I'm seeing someone.
- How did you know what I was gonna say?
I know I shouldn't do this but I saw you strutting
and I though you looked quite hot.
- Thanks.
- So, I wanted to say hello.
- I'm engaged.
- You're engaged?
- Yeah.
- But you look so young.
- I know.
- How old are you?
- 23.
- Engaged, already throwing your life away like that.
What are you thinking?
I'm joking, you look really nice.
What's your name?
- Thank you, Sarah.
- Sarah, lovely to meet you.
Have a lovely evening.
- You, too.
- [Tusk] Excuse me, excuse me, do you speak English?
- Yeah.
- I just saw you here and I thought you looked very nice.
- Thank you, I like your tattoos.
- Do you have any?
- No, I don't.
- Oh no, so you look but you don't.
You never want a tattoo?
- No.
- It's unusual to see a girl that likes tattoos
but doesn't have tattoos because the only girls
that have ever complimented me before
are covered in face tattoos and stuff like this.
- Cool.
- What's your name?
From where?
- Nice to meet you, Switzerland.
- Switzerland.
- And this is Alexandra, Alexandra.
- How are you doing?
- Good.
- You guys seem very serious today.
- We are very much on the way, sorry.
- What does very much on the way mean?
- Very much on the way means bye.
- Excuse me, sorry, this is very forward.
I saw you strutting past and I love legs
and I thought you look quite hot.
- I'm sorry, I'm in a relationship.
- But how, what, you've broken my heart.
- Sorry.
- You're gonna tell me you're married or something.
- I'm not married but
- Excuse me, this is really forward,
but I saw you walking past.
I know you're with loads of people and I thought
you looked hot so I was like, fuck it.
I'm gonna come and say hello.
- I'm on my hen do, I'm getting married.
- You're on your hen do?
- Yeah.
- It doesn't look like a lively hen.
You're just stuffing your sandwich just going.
- Yeah, we're just going now to go shopping first.
- You sound like a horrible Northerner.
Meeds, or something like this.
- Anyway, it was nice meeting you.
- Have a good hen do.
You can't check me out and not say hello.
Stop, come on, for one second, stop.
At least introduce yourself.
- I can't, I can't.
- Come on, you can stay for one second.
- I need to find my husband.
- Oh, come on, at least say your name.
But you can't do that.
You're gonna get in trouble if you do that.
- Bye now.
- Excuse me, I know I'm not supposed to do this,
but I saw you from over here and I know
you're probably waiting for a date or something
but I thought you looked quite hot so I wanted to say hi.
- Thank you, I'm actually gay.
- You're gay?
No way, is that like fully gay
or is that like persuadable bisexual gay?
- No, I'm afraid not.
- Have you ever kissed a guy?
- Yes, I have had boyfriends.
- And you're still, I'm not gonna do the hair bristly thing.
It's too much.
- Pretty much.
- I've never met, this is gonna sound a bit weird,
but I've never met an attractive lesbian.
You probably are gonna be like,
"You don't know anything, I know them all."
And I'm gonna be fucking jealous.
You're gonna flip through your phone and just show me them.
- Well, I've got the best one, so
- She's also hot, so this is again unusual.
I've never seen especially two hot girls together.
How long have you guys been together?
- Almost two years.
- Almost two years?
Well, good on you, look, lovely to meet you.
My seduction has gone A-wall.
I don't really know where to go with this.
Usually I deal with a boyfriend line,
but I don't really know how to deal with a girlfriend line.
Have them both of you come back to mine?
But you're like, no, I don't do sausage, so I know.
What can I do?
Have a lovely evening.
- You, too.
- Excuse me, this is really forward but
- I'm engaged, sorry.
- Oh, you're engaged, fine.
This is very forward but I just saw you.
- Okay.
- So, stop one second, let me say my peace
and then I'll let you guys go.
- I have a boyfriend.
- How did you know what I was gonna say?
- What were you gonna say?
- I was gonna say lovely legs.
Okay guys, so you've seen me getting rejected
in a variety of situations.
I'll go out on a daily basis and I'll get rejected loads,
especially if I'm teaching.
You know, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10 girls,
whether it's from the initial open, "I'm not interested."
Whether it's during the conversation
the girl is like, "Yeah, you know what?
"Actually no."
Whether we're having a conversation,
she sees one of my actual tattoos and she's just like,
"Look, I'm not happy with that" and walks off.
That's happened before mid-conversation.
She just spotted a snake or a it looks
like an Adelphian scorpion on my arm
and just being like, "No, I'm done."
Or, sometimes she'll come out on the date and leave
because my game's not on point.
Or, I'll have a really good first date with her,
what I thought was a really good first date,
never hear back from her again.
Or, she'll be in my house, we're about to get it on
and she just leaves.
But it's okay to get rejected, it's not that big a deal.
The more you get rejected, the more you
desensitize yourself to it.
Realize that in life you're not going to be able
to please everyone and yeah, the pressure will come off.
You'll have fun with it.
But I hope that's helped a little bit
in terms of like a mindset thing
because I know a lot of guys, their biggest fear
getting into day game is girls saying no,
but guys, it's just part of life.
It's just an inevitability of the process,
so the sooner you embrace it, the sooner
it doesn't really matter anymore.
(smooth dance music)