I felt like every guy I know
has a great strip-club story,
and I wanted one,
so I actually spent 24 hours straight
at Sapphire Las Vegas to get my story
and to beat Lamar Odom's record.
[ Both laugh ]
♪♪
So, Lou, you're driving me to Sapphire right now...
-Correct. -...the best strip club
in Vegas -- in the world. -Yes, it is, definitely.
It definitely is.
What else can I expect in there?
A whole bunch of guys hitting on you.
[ Laughs ] -Thank you.
'Cause you're a beautiful person,
a beautiful girl. -"Person."
-Okay, watch your step. -Hello. Thank you.
Hello. I'm Nikki.
Welcome to Sapphire Gentlemen's Club.
I'm Disco. Nice to meet you.
I'm gonna be spending 24 hours here.
-In a row? -In a row.
-[ Laughing ] Okay. -And so how many girls
am I gonna see here tonight? -Probably about 300.
-Like the movie! -Like the movie.
They're all half-naked,
and they'll probably die before their time.
-[ Laughs ] -Well, let me see this.
-Let's make it happen. -All right, thanks, man.
♪♪
Why do people come here?
It's an adult playground.
I said why do people [bleep] here, and you --
Never mind. Why do people ejaculate here?
[ Chuckling ] Oh, my God.
People should not be doing that here.
♪♪
-Now, your name is Cupcake. -Yes.
Do you love cupcakes?
I don't,
but I think my sweet, sunshine face
deserves "Cupcake."
Yeah. I would be Froyo.
-Why? -'Cause I love frozen yogurt,
and you can't be "Frozen Yogurt" coming to the main stage.
Hi, Dan. -Good to see you.
-I'm so glad you're here. -This is great.
Most of the strip clubs I go to are attached to a Sonic,
so this is a real step up for me.
[ Laughs ]
Hey. How are you?
I'd love to donate to your basketball team.
Let's just talk real talk.
How are you gonna get the most money out of this guy?
Really pretend that I like him,
that I'm super-interested in him.
Yeah, but, like, you do kind of like me,
like, outside of this. -Yeah. Yeah.
Would you give him a lap dance?
Sounds great.
I've had, like, a rough month.
I found out my parents are separating.
I think this is the normal talk that I usually get here.
Yeah.
-Are there cameras in here? -Um, probably.
Good to know.
'Cause I was gonna masturbate later.
I'm sleeping here tonight.
I'm a man tonight.
-You are a man tonight. -Yeah.
Speaking of men, I have somewhere to show you.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Maybe I should get married.
Nikki: Hi, guys. Can I talk to you?
-Yeah. -My boyfriend has those socks.
-Hi. -Nice to meet you, girlfriend.
Ha-ha!
No.
I saw what you guys were doing up there, and it was --
it seems violent. -"Violent"?
-Just like, "Graah!" -[ Laughs ]
It's time for bed, so I'm gonna get dressed.
[ Cheers and applause, dance music plays ]
I can't sleep.
It's too loud.
[ Voice breaking ] Tell my family I love them.
It's a lie, but, like, just... [ Sniffles ]
They should just feel like I do.
♪♪
Thanks for coming back.
I was just sleeping in the parking lot.
[ Laughing ] I'm so sick of being here.
You have the eyes of someone who's in Guantanamo right now.
♪ Dance, party, get drunk, get lit ♪
[ Music distorts, fades ]
I want to go home so bad.
This place has been very nice to me, but I just...
I don't ever want to be in a strip club again...
until my shift tomorrow.
[ Choir vocalizing ]
I'm free! I'm done!
I survived, Lou!
-Beautiful, beautiful. -Let's go to Spearmint Rhino.
Lou: Spearmint Rhino -- That's what we are doing.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Please, click here. On my vagina. Where my vagina would
be in this... Push my puss. Subscribe to my puss.