(soft music)
- Do you wanna know what phrases narcissists
use to manipulate you?
By the end of this video, you're gonna have eight phrases.
So as soon as you hear it coming out of their mouth
you're gonna go, I know what you're up to and be able
to run the other direction.
So stay tuned.
(bright music)
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung
and I have been recognized as a top 1% attorney
and I am a narcissist negotiation expert.
I've written a couple of bestselling books
and what I do here on this channel is I teach you
step-by-step how to negotiate with narcissist,
whether it's in your business or career life
or in your personal life, in your romantic life
in a family law matter, then I am your girl.
I'm here to give you exact ideas
on what to do to turn it around, shift the dynamic,
shift the power so that you are the one who is driving
that train and in control.
So if that sounds good to you, make sure you subscribe
to my channel, hit that notification bell
and that way you'll get notified when I upload new videos
or go live, et cetera.
So I am so glad you're here
because today I'm going to be sharing
with you eight phrases that narcissists use
to manipulate you so that when you see it coming
you'll be able to spot it.
You'll be able to turn it around.
You're gonna be able to start looking
at it, almost like as a third party and go, okay, got it.
Now I see what you're up to.
Now I see what you're trying to do.
And by the way, because you're saying these things
I know that you're a narcissist.
All right, so let's dive in.
The first one is they'll say something like,
I guess I'm a bad person.
You know, you're trying to make a point
about something you're pointing
out something like they didn't do something
that they said they were going to do
or they did something that they shouldn't have.
And you're just trying to get them to take responsibility.
You're trying to have a conversation with them.
And what they try to do then is they just become the victim.
Oh, I guess I'm just a bad person.
You're just attacking me.
I guess I should just die.
And instead of now having a conversation
you're the one who's attacking them.
You should feel bad especially if they're a covert
narcissist then you might see tears starting to flow
something like that.
If you wanna know more about the covert passive aggressive
narcissists definitely check out my video
on the covert passive aggressive narcissist.
And I also have one on covert narcissists
in relationships because I really to test covert narcissist
'cause I had to deal with a couple of them in my own life.
But the very first thing that they say is
I guess I'm a bad person.
They shifted around, they make themselves the victim, right?
So that's number one.
Number two is, do I still matter?
You know, now we're not talking
about the issue at hand it's now it's again,
they're turning it around.
They don't want to have to take responsibility
for whatever it is that they should have done
or didn't do or did do, and shouldn't have or whatever it is
or whatever it is that they said, maybe you're hurt.
Maybe you're upset about something.
They don't want to have to be responsible for that.
They don't wanna have to have
that light shining on themselves.
So they will do whatever they need to get
that off of themselves and move it to a different direction.
And so another thing they'll say is, do I still matter
is you know, does the relationship matter to you?
Why are you doing this?
Why are you bringing this up now?
What is it that you need to do now about this?
You know?
And instead of like, actually addressing the issue
it becomes all about all of that stuff.
However they can create noise
around it, that's what they will do.
Okay, so then the next one is
if that's the way you feel, you know, in other words
like, kind of diminishing your feelings
diminishing whatever it is
that you're bringing up to them.
I guess so, if that's the way you feel about
it and it might even be
like in a mocking tone, it might be in a sarcastic tone.
They're definitely letting you know that whatever it is
that you're deciding to do is probably a terrible idea.
There'd be very judgmental about it.
They want you to feel bad about whatever
it is that you're deciding to do.
That's the way you feel.
Okay.
So, all right, the next one is, if you loved me then,
if you love me, then you won't do this.
If you love me, then you will do this.
You know, if it's in a business setting, you know
if you value the relationship, if you value working with me
then you wouldn't say that she wouldn't do this
or you would do this whatever it is
that you want them to do.
So that's another way of
getting you to be manipulated by them.
And if you have totally seen this before
give me an amen in the comments.
Okay, so the next one is, you don't trust me.
Again, this is a manipulation, you know
if you're doing something that you definitely
don't trust them and they're like, Oh, you don't trust me.
They're trying to make you feel bad.
They're trying to make you feel guilty
for not trusting them.
How could you question them?
They've always been there for you.
They've always been by your side.
Have they ever let you down?
And of course you thinking, yeah, you have, and yeah
I don't trust you, but you know
then they start playing on your emotions.
They start playing on your feelings.
And especially if you're an empath
or you're an empathic person, it's really
really hard to stand back up to that.
And if you wanna know more about
that symbiotic relationship
between the narcissists and the empath
definitely check out my video on that topic
because there is definitely sort of this, you know
lethal attraction that goes on there
between narcissists and empaths.
But anyway, that's the next one you don't trust me.
All right, so the next one is, I've never seen
anything this bad before.
I've never seen anyone do anything like this before,
you know, trying to make you feel
like you're the only one who's ever asked this,
done this, said this, whatever it is.
And if you wanna know more about that, definitely check out
my video on narcissists favorite sayings.
But that is something that they do as well
to try to manipulate you.
I've never seen this.
I've never done this.
I've never seen anyone, blah, blah, blah.
Okay, the next one is we talked about.
This is a really, really famous one,
just a gaslighting type of a phrase
that a lot of covert narcissists especially use.
We talked about that, don't you remember?
You agreed and you know
you never had a conversation before, you know
you never agreed to anything,
but after a while they prey on your sanity.
And then you start to question your sanity,
Oh, maybe we did talk about that.
I don't even remember now, but that's what they do.
That's how they manipulate you.
You know and eventually because they've messed
with your mind so much,
they start to have power and control over you.
But once you start to see it and you start
to notice it, then it'll stop
and you'll start to realize what's actually going
on and you're waking up
'cause that's why you're here, right?
Okay.
And the last one is, I would never,
you know trying to shame you, I would never do this.
I would never say that, I would never let you down like that
I would never accuse you of anything.
I would never talk to my friends about you.
You know, all those sorts of things
even though they definitely would.
But that's one of the things that they say is, I would never
So, that's one of the other manipulation phrases
that narcissists use.
They love to manipulate.
And so what do you have to do in response?
You have to ethically manipulate the manipulator right back.
And that's what I teach you how to do.
So start by grabbing my free crush.
My negotiation prep worksheet at winmynegotiation.com
and make sure you subscribe to my channel.
Just subscribe and hit that notification bell.
You are also welcome to join me in my free private
Facebook group called Narcissist Negotiators
with Rebecca Zung.
Join me there, I would love to have you and make sure
that you like this video and you share it and you drop
me a comment and you subscribe
because all of those things are going to help you.
I've got tons and tons of free resources for you right here.
So thanks so much for joining me
on this edition of negotiate your best life
and I will see you in the next video.