- Do you have any ideas for what we can say here?
- Nope.
- Shut up!
- (thinking) Aw, crap.
Totally forgot it was Ian's birthday today.
He's gonna kill me.
- Surprise!
- What're you doing?
- Throwing you a surprise birthday party. Duh!
- But...
It's your birthday.
Do you not understand how these things work?
- I got you a present.
Open it.
(dramatic note plays)
- Well...
This...is...really creepy.
- I got it from some dude in China town.
He, uh, he said to be careful
'cause it might be cursed
or something, but
I don't know. (creepy noises with scary music playing) And I wanted to make sure that it was
really, really accurate, so I snuck into your bedroom
and took a picture of you while you were sleeping.
- (scary voice) Kill him...
- Did you hear that?
- Hear what?
- That creepy whisper that sounded like a cliche demon voice from a scary movie?
- No.
- Never mind.
- Hey! Where are you going?
I made you a cake.
Quick, sing with me.
♪ Conglaturations to you. ♪
♪ It's Ian's birthday... ♪
(Ian singing in the background)
- God. Ian
is so stupid.
- He sure is.
- What?
- You should kill him. (evil chuckle)
- Ian, are you fumigating the house again or something?
- I'm not thinking straight.
- Nope. (eats noisily)
- Kill him.
- Just ignore him, Anthony. He's not real
- Kill him.
- (thinking) It's okay. He's just in
your imagination.
- No, I'm not. I can hear everything you're thinking, because I'm a
part of you. I'm the darkness you don't want to let
out, the yin to your yang, the Bella to your Edward, and now you must
kill Ian. (evil chuckle)
- No!
- Wah! Huh?
(mumbling)
- (heavy sigh of relief) Thank god that's over.
- Well, I'm gonna go bathe myself. So if you
need me, I'll be in the shower
- Thanks for the info.
- Okay.
- Miss me?
- AAH!!!
- Now's your
chance. Kill him while he bathes himself.
- No! I am
NOT gonna kill my best friend!
- But is he really your best friend? He's stupid.
- He means well.
- He steals all your gogurts.
- True.
- And worst of all, he sings those
crappy songs in the shower.
- All right!!! I'll kill him, okay?!
- Excellent.
Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
- ♪ Ian's the best, better than the rest, and one day soon, he will ♪
♪ touch a breast. ♪
- Now just toss the toaster in the shower, and he'll be electrocuted.
Ha ha!
- Are you sure this will kill him?
- Yeah, man, I saw it in a movie once.
- Hey, Anthony, is that you? Dude, I can't wait for your birthday. I bet you're gonna get me
such a cool present. (chuckles)
- What are you doing?
Finish him!
- I just realized all the bad things
Ian does isn't because he's not my friend. It's because he's just really,
really dumb.
- Hey, I ran out of shampoo. Can you get me some dish soap or something?
- Ian would never do something like this to me.
But I-- I just can't do it.
- If you don't start killing him, I'm gonna kill both of
you myself!
- Like hell you will! (grunting)
I'll never kill Ian! Never! Aghghghgh...
- Oh, I see you're enjoying your present. Cool!
- You can't kill me. I am you, and eventually I will get you to kill him.
- No one is going
to kill my friend!!!
- Wha-- what are you doing?
- I'm finishing this right now.
- Aah!
(slow-mo noises)
(emotional music)
(deep groaning)
(electricity buzzing, Anthony groaning)
- Nyaah--
(BOOM!)
- (gasp)
Anthony?
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh! Oh no!
(sobbing)
(laughing)
- It's done. I finally convinced him I was so stupid that he killed
himself!!!
- Good. Good.
(sinister laughter)
(laughter tapering off)
Well, this is awkward.
- To see an ultimate ending and bloopers, click the link in
the description below. (chuckles) Oh, and you could also get one of those
cool bobbleheads. We promise it won't kill you. Maybe.
- You want a date with
cake face, ma'am? Give me a little kissy, get a little kick on the
face? Yeah.
- Thanks for subscribing. (laughing evilly, fades) This is awkward again.