We are a product of our beliefs.
Everything flows from your belief system,
how you perceive the world,
who you think you are,
what you think you can or cannot do,
what you believe is possible or impossible.
In each of our minds,
we experience our own version of reality.
A reality that is filtered by our own beliefs.
What do we do then when our beliefs limit us?
When they hold us back from accessing our full potential?
How then are we able to change those beliefs and overcome them?
Hi, my loves.
Welcome back to Lavendaire.
My name is Aileen.
And on this channel,
we talk about personal growth & lifestyle design.
And today, I'm super excited
to share this new exercise
on how to overcome your limiting beliefs.
If you have any negative thought patterns
or negative habits,
negative cycles that you find yourself going into
that are holding you back,
this is an exercise to help you get to the roots of that problem—
that belief that you have deep down—
and start to change that belief
and overcome that belief
so that you're not held back
by that negative pattern anymore.
This is something that I started doing for myself,
and it's been incredibly powerful
in a short amount of time.
So, there's the exercise
and then there's the follow-up strategies or techniques that you do
after you finish the exercise,
and I'll share that all today.
Before we get started,
make sure you subscribe to this channel.
Click that bell down below
so you're notified of all my new videos.
All right, so for this exercise,
I personally use Notion to create this table and a template for myself,
but you can also do this in your own notebook
if you don’t use Notion.
Or, I've created this worksheet
that you can download
and fill in either on your computer
or print it out and fill it out on paper.
The first step of this exercise is
to start to become aware of those negative habits.
What are those negative patterns?
What are these negative things that are holding you back?
For example, you find yourself going down
the rabbit hole on social media,
where you spend too much time scrolling,
or you find yourself comparing yourself to other people too often.
Just think of the things that you do
that are patterns that bring out
a negative emotion in you.
What triggers your anxiety,
what triggers stress,
what triggers frustration,
and what triggers anger.
Start to make a list of all the things that you do,
that kind of trigger these negative emotions.
And that's the first step—is to have this list.
Essentially, it's a list of negative patterns,
things that you are continually doing in your life
that are not serving you,
that are holding you back.
Things that you hopefully want to change.
The next step is going into this worksheet or this template,
which are basically questions
that will help you get to the root of this pattern.
What is the limiting belief that is underlying this pattern?
And then, how do you resolve that and create a new belief?
I'll run you through the template,
but the way this works on my Notion, for example,
is I made this list of all these negative patterns
or habits or triggers.
And then, I'm just gonna like go one at a time.
I'm gonna pick the most important one.
The one that I feel like is the one holding me back the most,
and then I'm gonna do this worksheet on.
So here are the five questions in this exercise.
The first question is “What is holding me back?”
You would then go into detail
of what it is that's holding you back.
For example, I find myself scrolling on social media too long.
I turn to social media when I procrastinate
and it always ends up like I'm scrolling on TikTok for two hours or longer,
and then I feel bad about it
and then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Just go into detail about what it is that you do
that you feel is holding you back.
The second question is
“What is the underlying belief causing this behavior?”
This is where you're gonna have to dig deep
and get honest with yourself
and ask what must be the belief
that is making me act this way.
For example, with procrastination,
as I was analyzing why I turn to social media to procrastinate
and go down a rabbit hole sometimes is
the underlying belief is
“I'm running away from what is hard."
"I'm choosing to do what is easy versus what is hard.”
And I think a lot of the times,
that's what we're doing when we procrastinate,
because the work is too difficult or challenging.
It requires effort.
And sometimes we're scared to take effort.
Maybe that is something you can relate to.
You're fearing the effort.
You're afraid to do something hard,
so you choose to do what's easy,
which is opening up your social media app.
In that scenario, your underlying belief could be
“I'm running away from responsibility,”
or “I choose to do what's easy versus what's hard.”
And then you can also go deeper and ask yourself,
“Why do I choose what's easy versus what's hard?”
And then you'll find that the deep belief
and the deep emotion that's limiting you is
“I'm afraid.”
“I fear what is difficult or challenging.”
All right,
so now that you've gotten to your underlying belief,
the next question is to ask yourself,
“Why am I like this? Where did this come from?”
And this is going even deeper
because this is where you're gonna dig into your childhood
and try to think of like the first memory
or the first experience
that might have caused you to have this belief.
And you might find that the first answer that comes up
isn't the most deep answer.
So whatever comes up, ask yourself, “Okay, why?”
And then do the seven layers of "why",
like continue asking "why", "why", "why"
until you feel like you've got to a really good reason
like, “Oh, this is why I'm like this."
"This is where it must have come from.”
This requires going back into early memories
and things like that.
To continue on with my example of a core memory
of why I fear what's difficult/challenging is
there was this big project that I had to do in fifth grade—
the animal project where we had to draw
and write a summary of each animal
for every alphabet letter.
And it was such a big project to me at that age
that I just didn't do it.
The teacher gave us time to do it in class,
and I just didn't.
I spent that time like hanging out
and talking to friends
and in the end I didn't finish it.
And that I got a F on that project,
which lowered my grade
and I got in trouble for that.
And it was so traumatizing.
It was difficult and I just wasn't given the tools
or I just didn't feel like I knew how to handle it.
So that is one of the core memories of like
“Oh, that's why I fear what's difficult.”
Because that experience was really difficult and traumatizing as a child.
So even though it sounds a little silly,
there are memories like that—
that we carry with us
and the emotion stays with us
and the fear stays with us.
The next question then is
“What is the new belief that I want to adopt?”
This is where you take your limiting belief—
that underlying limiting belief that you came up with—
and you turn it on its head
and you kind of write the opposite of it.
For example, if the limiting belief is
“I fear what's difficult or hard and so I avoid it,”
the new belief would be,
“I can handle anything that's difficult or challenging."
"I can confidently handle any challenging task because I have the tools”
or “I welcome challenges—
I embrace challenges because I know they help me grow.”
Feel free to write down a few different versions
of what could be the new belief.
And there will be one that sticks out to you
that you're like, “Hmm, that's the one."
"That's the one that I want to instill in."
This new identity with this new belief.
And then the last step in this exercise is
“What is my plan for manifesting this reality?”
I'm gonna give you a lot of techniques
that you can use to manifest
and instill/ingrain this new belief in you.
Before I get into those techniques is,
as you're doing this exercise,
remember we made a table,
we made a list of all of these things we wanna work on
and I just walked you through
how we would work through one thing.
So once you have this new belief
that you've decided to pick up for yourself,
I would put that new belief onto a list,
whether it's on Notion,
on your phone,
write it in your notebook,
on your wall,
in your mirror.
You basically wanna have a place
where you're collecting these new beliefs
and going through them one at a time.
I wouldn't try to work on too many new beliefs at once.
I really do believe working on one to three at a time.
And once you feel like you've ingrained them,
then you can start working on some new ones.
That's why I kind of have a list
where I kind of like check 'em off if I'm done with it
or reorganize them based on priority.
All right, moving on to the last part of this video,
I wanna quickly share some techniques on
how to reprogram your mind effectively.
Now that you have like these new beliefs
that you want to instill,
like I said, I work on one to three at a time,
there are ways to do it more efficiently/effectively.
Affirmations is one thing that I'm sure you've heard of,
but when you do these affirmations is important,
it's really key.
You want to instill these beliefs in your brain
when your brain is more susceptible to new beliefs.
And that is when your brain is in either alpha state or theta state.
There are different brainwave states—
I'll have a graphic on screen.
Beta state is the state where you are conscious,
you're living your life
and you're aware of what's happening.
Our conscious mind is the mind
that kind of holds the belief system.
So it's hard to change your conscious mind
when you're in that state
because it's kind of hard and set in its ways.
But the way you can more easily change
and shift your conscious mind is through your subconscious.
It's through when your brain is in that
in-between stage between waking and sleeping.
Think about when you're about to fall asleep
or right when you wake up,
you're kind of groggy,
you're not fully awake or conscious yet.
That is the perfect time to manifest,
to kind of repeat affirmations of these new beliefs
you wanna ingrain in your head.
Also during meditation is when you're in that calmer brain state.
And that is a really amazing time
to repeat these affirmations
so that you start to change your mind.
To give you some examples of the best times
that you can use to repeat these new beliefs as affirmations—
repeat them again and again until they're in your brain—
one is right before falling asleep and right upon waking
when your brain is in that loopy state.
Another one is during meditation, which I already mentioned.
Another one is listening to these affirmations while you're driving.
So maybe record yourself saying these new beliefs
and listen to it on repeat while you're driving.
Because when you're driving, your brain is relaxed.
You know how sometimes you feel like
you are on autopilot when you're driving,
you don't even realize you're driving.
That's because your brain has entered that state.
You can also repeat these affirmations while you're running.
Because as you're running,
it's kind of a repetitive thing.
Sometimes I repeat positive affirmations as I'm running
and there's kind of a rhythm to it.
It's kind of like I'm singing a song
or like wrapping it in a way.
Just anything that is repetitive,
where your brain is not fully using its brain power.
Think like doing chores,
like folding clothes or washing dishes.
Those are also great times to repeat these affirmations or listen to them.
All right.
Let me know if you give this exercise a try
and what you think of it.
Comment down below.
Also don't forget we have a downloadable worksheet that you can download there.
And we have some really exciting launches coming up very soon.
If you like journaling and exercises like this,
I have a whole shop where we have products
that are basically guided journaling.
We're launching a new product next week.
I won't say what it is.
You'll find out next week in my new video
and you'll see it on my Instagram.
Just follow us at @shoplavendaire.
Lot of exciting stuff coming up.
Sending you lots of love.
I'll see you in the next one.
Bye~