It's the golden question how do I teach my baby to settle to sleep
when I put him or her down stick around because I'm going to break this down and make
sense of it for you today so you can teach your little one in the way that's right for him or her
it's because all little ones are unique that there's no simple answer or one magical way
to do this if there were we'd all know it right but what there is that i can share with you is
the scientific principles and the understanding of different personalities so that you can determine
the best approach for teaching your little one how to settle to sleep and back to sleep and help
them to get the nourishing restorative sleep they need and so do you so what even is self-settling
it's a form of self-regulation which is how we control our emotions and our reactions
at first a baby has no idea how to put themselves to sleep and relies on you to do it for them in
the womb they were lulled off by motion and sounds and the sleep and wakeful patterns didn't matter
so much because the mother's body takes care of all the needs but in the outside world it's
so different but still so important that they get that sleep they need often what happens is
we as parents continue to do it for them meaning we put them to sleep by rocking them or feeding
them to sleep or pacing around with them on us and holding them and this is totally natural of course
but the fact is it's not sustainable not long term and it's very difficult when you have more
than one as well it'll also in time sabotage a little chances of practicing or becoming better
at settling to sleep if it's continually done for them so after those early few months of working
on getting into some good rhythms and queues with your baby somewhere between four and six
months is a great time to begin helping your baby practice settling to sleep and if you're way past
the stage there's no time like the present to get on top of this it's not too late here's how
i like to explain self-settling imagine you're teaching your child to ride a bike you wouldn't
just pop them on a two-wheeler and expect them to ride it first time or even a second time you know
it takes a lot of learning and practice if you did just put them on the bike and expect them to
ride that's the equivalent to just putting a baby down and expecting them to put themselves to sleep
no we start with training wheels on a bike or stabilizers to get them used to the feel of
pedaling and steering and then we take off the extra wheels and we run along holding them up on
the bike while they master their balance until we finally we can let go and off they go on two
wheels all by themselves it's bit by bit starting with doing it for them and then moving to doing it
with them and assisting them as they get better and better at it gradually reducing our input
so that we do less and less and they're doing more and more until they master it
this is my philosophy when it comes to teaching a little one to self-settle and
it works not just temporarily but long term in my book the sleep now system you'll learn about the
fade out approach and regulated responding both of these use this philosophy providing your input and
helping your little one to develop an essential and vital skill both approaches are responsive
meaning you're never ignoring your little one and always responding it's just a case of what that
response needs to look like to be effective for your little one's unique personality and character
some need very close contact while others do better with less fast and a bit more space
i'm going to give you three things to consider is your little one more laid back or very alert you
can use our temperament cheat sheet to find out if they are super alert you might find regulated
responding is a better approach as they can be overstimulated by your efforts to soothe them
constantly in the room does your little one rely on something that you need to do to or for
them in order to fall asleep if so you'll likely find the phase-out approach is more suitable as
you effectively wean this particular sleep onset association and introduce a more sustainable way
to fall asleep do you struggle to even get your baby down for sleeps and find yourself holding
him or her to sleep every time then you can check out my episode on my nano night night method which
teaches micro steps for getting your baby down in their own sleep space before in commencing one of
the approaches for teaching your little one to self-settle once you know which approach to go
for it's all about a consistent bedtime routine settling to sleep in the same way every bedtime
and a consistent response to each and any waking in the night it doesn't need to be complicated
knowing what to do and how to do it is the biggest hurdle then it's about total commitment to seeing
it through and doing this wonderful thing for your little one because once he or she can settle
to sleep and back to sleep they'll be able to sleep for the longer stretches and get the deep
impactful sleep they need for their brain development health mood and well-being far better
to give them this gift sooner than later when it can impact school learning social socialising and
much more if you need help we're here for you with a range of packages to suit your needs so don't
struggle alone trying to figure it all out when help is here check out our dream maker program
and get sleep sorted today if you found this episode helpful please head over to the blog
and leave us your comments and share with a friend who might take a little nugget of reassurance
from this today and show them that you care until next week stay happy and healthy and sleep soundly
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