“Favorite cartoon growing up?”
I mean, there are some classics.
I would say “Animaniacs,”
uh, “Darkwing Duck,”
uh, “Ducktales.”
Uh...
(Can you sing the theme song to “Ducktales”?)
Yeah.
You guys excited about March Madness?
It’s getting a lot of— it’s getting a lot of like— a lot of heat right now.
I mean, at least the NCAA right now.
What do you think the deal is? Should we pay athletes?
What do you guys think?
[several people] (Yeah! Yes.)
How do you work out the pay structure?
(Who cares?)
You said, “Who cares?”
I think the athletes would care.
How do you do it? Because there are certain sports that get a ton of attention.
(Pay for merchandise.)
You pay for merchandise?
But then what happens to the fencing team?
Like I think, but I think the fencing team is great.
Like, basketball will get the money, but then like fencing they’d be like,
“Hey, we paid for your meal at the dining commons.”
Even though fencing is cool!
I’m like, “Fuck, they’ve got swords. Actually have swords!”
It’s wild to me. I mean, after I saw the Zion thing,
that really, that really kinda fucked with me a little bit.
Where I was like, “Damn. Like this dude almost lost his career—-
he just blew through his shoe.”
It was wild.
I was waiting for someone. I was like,
“Who’s gonna jump on this?
Who’s gonna troll Nike?”
And then Skechers is like,
“Allow me.”
Yeah, “You blew it.” I was like,
“Is Skechers really the one to talk right now?”
I was waiting for like, Adidas or Puma to be like,
“Hey, our shit doesn’t blow up. Go with Adidas.”
But um...
Yeah, it’s weird.
You think Zion should sit out? [several people saying yes/no]
You think he should just sit out?
Just not even do March Madness?
[several people] (No. No.)
(Save his body for the Knicks!)
Save his body for the Kn—
Yeah.
You know what, man?
I actually really respect Knicks fans.
You’re a die hard Knicks fan?
I fuckin’ love Knicks fans.
You wanna know when I knew I loved Knicks fans?
I went to a Knicks game when I first moved to New York.
And, um, Courtney Lee was on the Knicks.
Is he still on the Knicks?
Is Courtney Lee still playing for the Knicks?
He’s gone.
He got moved in that trade. But, they lost.
So Porzingis, Courtney Lee, Tim Hardaway Jr.,
they’re all walking into the tunnel.
And, these guys just get up,
and they get towards the tunnel.
They go from their seats.
I just see these guys, like, climb over people.
Just like, crazy.
And they get right to where the tunnel is.
And Courtney Lee is walking through and he’s like, “Courtney!
Look at me.”
And then he goes,
“Unacceptable!”
And Courtney Lee was like, *nods*.
And that’s why I love Knicks fans,
‘cause they have that just, like, family level…
“Hey! No personal boundaries.
Don’t do this to me!”
And The players are like, “It’s fair. It’s fair.”
Ah,
no. Zion, Zion should sit.
I think he should sit.
It’s not worth it.
It’s wild to me, though, the NCAA.
They made—
how much did they make last year, Dan?
They made $1 billion.
They’re a 501(c).
They don’t pay taxes.
They pay no federal income taxes?
Like, I bet you every corporation is watching this, like...
like, Amazon is watching and they’re like, “Yo.
We gotta start a basketball tournament.”
What if...what if hypothetically, just all the students just boycotted.
Like, all the student athletes boycotted.
There would just be no college sports.
It would be kinda— you couldn’t organize that, but I think,
I think it’d be wild because
Especially students on campus, they need something
to get drunk and go to.
It’d probably go full circle.
Like, they’d just like, everybody would boycott except the fencing team.
And then just a stadium of 20,000 people are just cheering on a fencing match.
It’d be kinda beautiful.
“Are you a believer of aliens?”
First of all, this question is definitely from an alien.
It’s like, “Are you a believer of aliens?
Fuck, I gave it away.”
Yeah, an alien definitely wrote this question.
Yeah, hell yeah, I believe in aliens.
For sure. For sure! Who doesn’t?
“How would your wife finish this sentence?”
Damn! You guys get super personal, like, “Yo, Venmo me.”
“How would your wife finish this sentence? Hasan is the type of guy to blank.”
Uh, I think it’d be, “show up fifteen minutes late to his own party.”
That would be mine, I’m notoriously—
(That’s like every Indian!)
That’s every Indian?
Alright, what…
Alright, what should I say that’s more specific?
You’re, like, not happy with that response.
You’re like, “That’s all of us!”
“What is your favorite memory from visiting India?”
This is from Krishal.
Favorite memory...
Definitely seeing my grandma.
That’s, like, always really great.
It was really cool to see my grandma.
Yeah, she’s 93 now, which is wild.
Yeah, I know. It’s really cool.
What is my favorite memory?
Probably my funniest memory…
or my most interesting memory.
You know what I’m always blown away by?
It’s because India has so many people, and
a lot of countries, they deal with underemployment.
But, India has this interesting thing where they have like, overemployment.
Alright, so, you’ll go do stuff. And there’ll just be—
so for example right now, there’s one camera operator here, right?
See this guy right here, with the beanie?
In India, there’d be you,
and then you’d be boxing out two other dudes.
Just right behind you. And you’re like, “Who are you?”
And you’re like, “Oh, I’m the guy who helps the guy.”
Like, um, you go to the mall, I remember one time I went to a mall.
And like I, you know,
it’s like— think of like a Westfield Mall, like your just generic mall.
And you know when you try to go use the bathroom it’s like tucked away
behind the Wet Seal,
so you have to go down this hallway.
And I go down this hallway, and it’s a one-way hallway, I go down the hallway,
and there’s just a guy at the end of the hallway.
And his job is just to point left.
Like the only job requirement is just *points left*.
You could’ve just replaced him with either logic,
just it’s one way,
or just a sign of a guy pointing left.
And I kinda talked to him, I was like,
“Hey, what’s your, what’s your deal? Like, why don’t you just kinda go,
and trust,
trust the human condition?
Just trust that people will figure it out?”
And he was like, “Don’t say that.”
Alright, “If you had to choose: Tupac or Notorious B.I.G.?”
That’s crazy, that someone asked this on this episode.
Uh...fuck, ok.
Tupac, I think for being more of like an icon of hip hop,
in terms of what he was like as a poet, an actor, activist, all of that stuff.
And I’m from California...wow, you’re really laughing at his legacy?
Yeah, I know he was dancer.
What if I was like,
“His groundbreaking work in dancing.
His groundbreaking work with the digital underground really...”
Uh, yeah for like, sort of who he was and...
but in terms of like, pure lyricism and rap, I think B.I.G.'s a better rapper.
Can’t it be both? Can’t I acknowledge different aspects?
Yeah, yeah.
We brought it home at the end.
The way you were judging the whole time.
And then you’re like, *snaps fingers.*
You were like, you know what you just did?
You were almost like one of those Russian gymnast coaches.
You were like waiting for Svetlana to stick her landing.
And then you’re like, *snaps fingers*.