KAI: What you watching?
LIBBY: Marriage Hacks for the Lazy and Self-Absorbed.
KAI: As if you could learn anything about marriage
from a four-minute video.
LIBBY: Seriously, I mean covering the complex issues
of a major lifetime commitment like marriage
shouldn't be at least five minutes.
KAI: Six to get to the Catholic stuff.
(upbeat rock music)
KAI: Hi, welcome to Catholic Central.
She's Libby.
LIBBY: And he's Kai, and today we're talking
about the Sacrament of Marriage.
KAI: Marriage, one of the most common institutions
across every time and culture.
LIBBY: And across those times and cultures
it has had totally different meanings.
ELVIS KAI: I'm ordained by the religion of love, baby!
And legally by the state of Nevada.
LIBBY: So what do Catholics mean by marriage?
KAI: For starters, it's one of the seven Sacraments.
LIBBY: A sacrament is a visible sign
instituted by Christ to give grace.
So for Catholics, the Sacrament of Marriage
means that the couple themselves
are a sign of God's love.
KAI: Catholics believe marriage is a vocation,
or a call from God, to love, honor, and live in union
with one person for life.
LIBBY: Just as God calls some to the priesthood
or religious life,
He calls couples to follow Christ through marriage.
KAI: And that means Jesus is invited
to both the wedding and the marriage.
LIBBY: That also means that since their marriage
represents Christ's love for the Church,
the ordinary day-to-day life of a couple
points to a greater reality where Christ is present.
KAI: But not in, like, a creepy way.
LIBBY: Right, He leads them to greater unity in love.
KAI: Put it mildly, this is not exactly the meaning
marriage has always had around the world,
nor how everyone sees it today.
Civil marriages are performed by government officials
and recognized by the government as a legally-binding union,
but what marriage means varies from couple to couple.
LIBBY: They can be part of a traditional religion or not.
So while all civil marriages are recognized as legal,
and Catholics believe that God can be present
in all circumstances,
for a marriage to be considered valid
in the Catholic Church,
it must have particular qualities.
CHURCH LADY LIBBY: Ephesians 5:22, "Here Comes the Bride" on the organ,
and wine at the reception.
KAI: Nope.
But wine is a popular choice.
LIBBY: Catholic marriage must have the following four elements.
KAI: One.
One man and one woman must enter into the marriage freely.
The spouses must be free to marry.
There can be no conditions
that would get in the way of this freedom.
LIBBY: For example, you cannot be closely related to your fiance.
And you cannot marry if you are already married
or bound by other vows.
So a priest can marry you, but he can't marry you.
KAI: Two, they freely exchange their consent.
They must be not only free from other vows or ties,
but also choose each other on their own.
Without pressure from anyone else,
Mother.
V/O: Uh oh.
LIBBY: Three.
Consent to live out what the Church means by marriage.
Namely, a covenant.
KAI: Which means to marry for life,
be faithful to one another, and be open to children.
LIBBY: Marriage is a lifelong commitment.
Couples pledge to go through hard times
and good times together,
to do the work of growing with and toward each other
as they age.
The family forms the basic unit of nurture,
education, and care.
Being open to having children
means a marriage serves future generations,
not just one another.
KAI: OK, four.
The last element is the exchange of vows
that takes place publicly before a Church minster,
usually in a church.
LIBBY: This is because Catholic marriage
is not just for the couple
but is a continuing sign of God's love
for the community and the world.
KAI: And while the Sacrament of Marriage
is witnessed by a priest,
the ritual itself takes place between the man and the woman.
Their vows are made publicly as a sign to one another
and the whole Church community.
LIBBY: So you can't just make promises in private
that you later deny in public, Kevin.
V/O: Uh oh.
KAI: Now, some of you might be thinking,
"That sounds highly idealistic, if not impossible."
LIBBY: Catholics know the bar is set high.
KAI: It's no simple calling to live out ordinary daily life
in such a way as to be a sign of Christ's love
for each other and for the world.
And unfortunately, it's not the kind of thing
you could hack.
LIBBY: But the requirements are not there to be a burden.
While not everyone lives them out perfectly,
they're there to ensure freedom and happiness
for the spouses and their families.
KAI: And they're why the Catholic ideal of marriage
often stands in contrast to the cultural norms around it.
While empires rise and fall and cultures tend to change,
the Church's teachings strive to stay in line
with the teachings of Christ and the early Church.
LIBBY: However, Catholics know relationships can be complicated.
And it's important to treat those
who have experienced serious difficulties in marriage
with kindness and a good heart.
You know, like Jesus would.
KAI: Sadly, divorce is a common reality for our culture.
With hope, the Church holds up the ideal
and strives to serve those who have experienced divorce
with love and compassion.
LIBBY: Because a Catholic marriage is bound
until the death of a spouse,
a Catholic marriage doesn't end with a civil divorce.
However, it may be eligible for an annulment
under certain circumstances.
KAI: An annulment is the official declaration
of nullity from the Church tribunal,
meaning that the marriage never truly existed
in the first place.
LIBBY: At least in the Catholic sense.
So you could've had a wedding, had kids, a house,
and a dog together, and even shared a toothbrush.
But one of the four essential elements was missing
when you made your vows,
even though you might not have known it at the time.
KAI: Which is sad, but also points to how important
those elements are in making Catholic marriage
a beautiful thing.
It means saying yes to both loving God
and loving your spouse
with your whole heart, mind, body, and soul.
LIBBY:It means being a witness to fidelity,
openness to life, and God's call to love and honor
one special lifelong partner
in the way God intends for them to be loved.
KAI: On that note, Libby, do you want this episode
to be over for as long as we both shall live?
LIBBY: I do.
I'm Libby.
KAI: And I'm Kai.
Thanks for watching Catholic Central.
("Wedding March" plays)