Hey, guys, welcome back thanks for joining me for another video if you are a subscriber
Thank, you guys so much for all of your love and comments it's so overwhelming every single day to come in to all
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By the fact that you guys really love
These videos and you're getting such great insight
And you're learning so much and that was the whole point of me creating this channel in doing these videos every week for you. Guys
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Those moments were key for me and they really changed, my life, so i'm humbled that i'm able to do that for you
Guys, if you're, new, to my channel welcome my name is stephanie i am a life, and relationship coach
so the past couple of weeks i
Have been noticing. This theme, and it's just funny how, when i make a
Video it's like
this
theme kind of happens or car i start getting a lot of the same type of
Comments and for awhile i was getting a lot of comments from people that are coming out of our?
narcissistically abusive
Relationship or emotionally abusive relationship and now i'm starting to see a real theme of people that are struggling in these relationships
So i had one woman recently, asked me you know
How do i know, whether or not my husband's having an emotional affair i feel like he is and i just
Want to get some insight on how you can really pinpoint if this is happening so
For this week's video i want to give you, five signs that you can, tell that someone is having an emotional affair biggest reasons
Why, i wanted to make this video is because
The fact of the matter is love is blind and the minute you fall in love with
Someone and you fully give yourself to someone else you completely trust this person
Loves blind and you're going to overlook things and not believe that this person this person is capable of doing
Something that they're actually capable of doing or what they are currently doing you, don't want to believe it you
Want to believe this person's good you trust
This, person you believe this person loves you you know how's your best interest at heart is always thinking of you and you can't imagine
That not only that they cheat on you but that they could have an emotional affair with
Someone else that they could be able to separate you know
their two worlds and carry on in this relationship so one of the biggest signs is
Physical intimacy so if your partner has
absolutely, no interest in
Intimacy or being physical with. You and this isn't just sex you know if you guys
Always cuddled on the couch after the kids
Went to sleep or after work or whatever and that was your thing and you guys love to do that and you
Don't do it anymore or if you guys love pda and you know
You're!
The couple that would always like have their hands on each other or a hand on a leg or something like that and that tends
to, go, away
That is definitely one sign now if you're in a long-term marriage or a long-term relationship or?
Relationship in general and you're going through that dry spell that, we tend to go through you know, maybe we just had children
Maybe we're, going, through a
Stress in life right now and it's causing us not to have that physical contact and to be intimate those things can happen if we're
Going through, if we're in the middle of a
Fight sometimes those things can happen of course but this is more of?
These signs are more of patterns that you're starting to see so this isn't like, oh we're going
through
Like two or three weeks of this this is now going into two or three months and
This is becoming more of a regular thing and it's not just a regular thing that they don't you know
Want to be intimate with us it's that they're they're
detaching from us physically so the next sign is your partner is
Constantly picking a fight with
you
and one of the biggest things that i always
Tell people is you have to listen to your intuition this goes for everything in life and intuitively if you know
You're!
Not doing anything wrong and your partner is just picking these fights with you that no matter what you do you know
You're, always the one at fault nothing you do is good enough it is constant to the point, where you feel, like, they're just
Nitpicking at you at every little thing and if you're within our success this is going to happen because this is part of the
discard phase so you're, gonna, feel like something that you are the problem that you must always be
Overreacting or you must be too sensitive must be something wrong with. You or you must be the crazy, one
those things
Definitely happen a hundred percent if you are with someone who is narcissistic but even if you're not with
Someone who's narcissistic or sociopath or anything like that
And you're you know you just feel
Intuitively that he's starting or she's starting arguments with, me for no reason at
All i'm just trying to have a conversation and all of a sudden this big
Fight ends up happening you know i had a friend once who unfortunately her husband actually had an affair
While she was pregnant and?
During her pregnancy they would go out shopping for their, new
Baby and she would pick out clothes and he would always nitpick and start fights
with her in the department store that she would always buy random pieces of clothing and never buy an outfit i
Remember telling, me this story and i was like this it's completely
Ridiculous but it was just his way of starting fights
Because he needed to create an argument, and make her at fault because he
Was having an affair so he needed someone else to blame for the fact. That he, was you know having an affair behind
His, wife's back and so a lot of the times when they're nitpicking, and they're picking, these, fights with
you it's because they're trying to blame you they're trying to then convince themselves that you're actually the problem
So that's tip number two is whether or not your spouse or partner is picking fights with
You the third sign that your partner could possibly be having an emotional affair and this is sure obviously for a
Physical one as, well is they become obsessed with their phone now?
Let's just face the reality here this is 2018
To, some extent we're all pretty obsessed with our phones i have a. Four, year old that can get into, my phone know. How
To, probably, do some things even better than i can so
Technology being around, us that's just the world that, we live in but you know
When your partner has now turned a normal you know
Technology, obsession with phone always having our phone on us thing into now
We're taking, he's he or she is taking their phone without everywhere
They, go so one of the biggest things is do they take?
Their phone into the bathroom when they take a shower and they're not listening to music
That's a sign you know are they, always putting, their phone facedown, when you're around them
That's just definitely a clear sign a hundred percent that they're starting to you know distance themselves from you
And they just basically have something to hide so if you, don't feel comfortable if your partner doesn't let
you
See their phone and go through it then that's a problem usually when a partner or spouse has an emotional affair there's always
Not always but nine times out of ten there's one person in their life that you're a little suspect to the
Conversation gets a little too close or you just feel intuitively that i feel like
You're, getting too close to this person i feel, like, you're talking to them too much and of course they're
Going to project and just throw
Back at you that you're being too sensitive or you're just insecure and that shouldn't bother you and you know i love you
But the fact of the matter is if you feel uncomfortable
By something that your partner is doing they should love and respect. You enough to not only say
Absolutely i need, to correct that but love you enough to say, what am i doing wrong that i made you
Feel that you couldn't trust me so a lot of the times in relationships when there's a lot of friction it's because we're
Blaming the other person and instead of saying, okay if you feel uncomfortable, by my interaction with
This, person i must be doing something to cause you to bring this to my attention
So it's that's different than you gaining upset with. Your husband or your wife or your girlfriend or whatever when
They, say hi to joe in the office i mean that's a different situation but
When you go out for dinner with friends and you always seem to see your partner with this one specific person time and time again
Getting a little too cozy or the conversation going on a little too long and it makes you feel uncomfortable
They should love and respect
You enough to be able to say
Absolutely i'm gonna squash that right now i don't need to have those conversations
And i don't want you to feel uncomfortable around
That person but a lot of the times what will happen is the person
Your partner will actually get defensive and say you know. You're insecure you feel that, way or there's absolutely nothing going on?
Just to really deflect from what really is going on they're, basically trying to gaslight you they're trying to throw
You, off your game so you, don't keep listening to that intuitive thought that's saying i don't trust
What's going on over there something feels off the other thing is they emphasize so badly that they're just friends with
This, person so again, they're, gonna try and gaslight you and just make this relationship
Where a hundred percent friends, she's just my good friend
You know i've had her, my life forever i work with her and i have to talk to her but
Again i go back to that first point if it makes you uncomfortable and as long as you know
You're!
Not being irrational that you really feel intuitively that something's going on and i just don't like it it's making me feel uncomfortable now
That you should be able to bring that to your partner's attention, and they should respect
What you have to say number one and number two do whatever it is that they need to do to, make, sure you
Don't feel that way a partner should never make you feel
Bad for what you're feeling they should
Be able to ease any concern that you have or worry or anything like, that because they love you and they respect
you
And that there's nothing actually going on and the last thing and it's not really something in terms of a sign that you have to
Look, out for your partner this is really about you i want you to focus and listen to your intuition
This, doesn't mean you're crazy, it doesn't mean you're insecure it doesn't mean you're oversensitive you know, when nine ten eleven you know
When you're being irrational when, you're letting that insecurity kind of get the best of you and when intuitively you feel like
Something's kind of off and when i say love is blind it a
Hundred percent is because we do not, want to believe that the person that?
We loved and trusted is capable of doing something so hurtful as to having an emotional or physical affair behind our backs
But if you see something that feels off
listen to it and
Not only listen to it but you need to be able to
Communicate it to your partner in not an angry
Way in just a matter of fact way, hey i noticed that you always take. Your phone with. You, what's up with that
There's no need to take your phone in the bathroom if you're, not using it there's no need to you know
Put your phone underneath pillow, when you go to bed at night there's no need to constantly have your phone facedown
When we're in restaurant there's no need for any of those things and let, them know
That hey that behavior needs to change hey
When i ask you to use your phone and you just immediately take it and do something really shady
And then give it to me that's a problem and just keep at it with
This, person, because the truth is people can't really keep on affairs for too long most people the guilt
Alone, would eat them alive but if you are dealing with, someone who is narcissistic who, is that sociopath then, they're able to
Disassociate and have that emotional affair have that physical affair, and still be in a relationship with. You, and that's just what, makes them crazy
Unfortunately that's what makes them mentally ill because most people like i said would have empathy
Would have so much guilt for what they were doing that they
Won't be able to withstand that relationship and eventually it'll come to the surface. And that is the truth, is that no matter how
Much of this you're seeing and no matter how
Much your partners may, be denying it it always comes to the surface so at, some point you will find out
That this person's doing it because when, you're looking for answers you'll get that but, not only are
We listening to our intuition but we're approaching our partner coming from a loving and calm way, which is i noticed that?
We haven't been physically intimate in months and i know we're going, through a?
funk right
Now, and we need to get our relationship, back on track and take the initiative and say okay what are the things that
We need, to do to fix this relationship, do we need to go to therapy, do we need to find a relationship coach do
We need, to start making our relationship
Priority and you have to see you know it takes two to tango it takes two people to
Break a relationship and two people to fix and heal a relationship and you can't be the only
One that's doing all the work so if you're starting to see these signs like, they're becoming, obsessed with, their phone you know
They're, putting this big emphasis on jody in the office and how. They're just friends but. Yet every time, we go out for dinner with
You know our cooper friends they're, always talking doodling and flirting and it's making me uncomfortable and
Me and my partner are not that intimate anymore so now i'm becoming even or paranoid if all these things are happening you know it's
It's someone's job and so it might as
well be yours to
Take the steps to
Fix it and if you see that your partner is meeting you halfway and they're doing what they need to do to fix it then
Great and if you see that they're getting defensive and they continue to pick fights
And they don't, want to work on it then you know at. Some point it's that saying either show
You get off the pot you kind of have to make a decision on what you want to do and believe me when i say
I am not saying this saying that any of these things are easy to do it's not easy to just get to the point of
Okay, i'm just gonna in a relationship i'm gonna end a marriage of 30. Years. And i'm just you know
We have kids but whatever you i think you're having an emotional affair
And i'm gonna end this relationship but it is about having enough confidence and self-love and yourself to say look
We're in this relationship i can't fix it on my, own you have to meet me halfway
we deserve to have a good relationship, not only for ourselves but for our children if there are children involved and
We have to be on the same page in terms of how we're, gonna fix this relationship
And get it back on track and at
That point you'll really see whether or not someone is on the same page with you and if they're not
You really have to determine how much longer do you, want to play this game because at
Some point either that affair is gonna come to the surface or?
Maybe they continue with the affair and you just both live miserable lives so again
This is not easy stuff to deal with and tackle believe me when i tell you but it is important to
Just see these signs in your relationship and trust your intuition and don't overlook these things if you know
Intuitively something feels off with, this person so i hope that that has helped you guys if you, guys have
Any questions please don't forget to leave them in the comment section below
I will leave any information down below if you're interested on one-on-one coaching if you, want to follow
Me on social media all that information is down below
And i look forward to seeing you guys, again, soon thanks