Cry it out.
Those are three little
but very, very big words
in the world of baby sleep.
Some people are okay with their children crying
and choose to use sleep methods
like the famous cry it out method.
And that's fine.
I'm not here to judge people and their parenting choices.
Some people prefer to have little to no crying
when it comes to their little ones
and are seeking a more gentle approach
to helping their babies sleep well.
Because if your little one isn't sleeping,
you're not sleeping too.
If you're looking for a method
to help your baby and your whole family
sleep better at night, then yes,
you can sleep train
your baby without using the cry it out method.
Today I'm going to be answering your sleep question,
how can I sleep train without using the cry it out method?
Tell me in the comments below
how your little one's sleep in going.
Have you sleep trained your little one?
What method did you use?
What worked for you?
We really want to hear from you
and we will respond to each and every comment.
In this video,
I'm going to give you some different strategies
that you can try
to help your little one sleep better at night
without resorting to putting them in their room
and listening to them cry.
Hi, I'm Nicky.
I'm one of the founders of a company called Little Ones.
We specialize in infant and toddler sleep solutions
from zero right through to three years old.
We founded this company
because we ourselves experienced poor sleep
with our own children.
We've been in your shoes.
We know how hard and frustrating it can be.
And we also know that it's really difficult
to find solid, evidence based advice out there
on the wide world of the internet.
We wanted to create a company and a program
where people can access really really good,
sound, scientifically based advice and information
to help their families sleep better.
If you're interested in achieving better naps,
better settling, better night sleep,
with your little one,
please check out our website, www.littleones.co
and have a look at our Sleep Programs.
So let's talk about sleep training.
This is a very loaded topic
and one that gets a lot of attention
and a lot of aggression, especially in online forums.
I think that stems from a big dose of misinformation
about what sleep training is and can be
and what families are trying to achieve
when they're talking about sleep training.
Interestingly, with our work with families
all around the world and their little ones' sleep,
through our Sleep Programs,
very often, especially in babies under six months old,
just by adjusting their little one's daytime nap routine
and their awake windows,
by making some simple tweaks to their sleep environment,
like making it very very dark and implementing white noise,
many people have been able
to dramatically improve their baby's night time sleep,
without even going near sleep training.
So this is the first place we would advise you to start.
From here,
if your baby has a very ingrained sleep association,
if they are relying on you to do something for them
in order to fall asleep,
that is where you possibly need to look
at taking a step back.
That doesn't mean you need to put your baby in their bed
and leave them there to cry
and shut the door and not come back until morning.
I would never recommend that approach, ever.
What I would recommend
is that you listen to your feeling, your instinct.
You are the one who knows your child best.
Listen to your child.
Know what it is that makes them tick
and makes them fall asleep.
Work with your baby's current sleep association.
Let me give you an example.
If your little one is used to being nursed to sleep,
or fed to sleep,
don't just go cold turkey on that.
They're gonna cry.
It's not necessarily
that you're doing something to harm them.
It's that they just don't understand what's just happened.
They're confused and perhaps a little bit frightened.
This is not what they're used to
so they're going to cry.
I would not recommend going cold turkey like that
in that situation,
especially if you know that you have
quite an alert, nosy, little baby.
Not a calm, contented, sleepy baby.
Which unfortunately I never had any of those babies.
So what I would recommend you do,
and this is the gist of the methods
that we use in our Sleep Programs.
Do whatever it is
that you're currently doing to get your little one to sleep,
but just do it less and less.
Stay with them.
If you nurse them to sleep,
nurse them until they are 95% asleep.
Put them down into their bed
and give them the chance to go to sleep on their own.
If they don't, you can pet them,
comfort them, talk to them, hold them.
Put your hands on them in their crib
and soothe them and let them know that you're there
but don't feed them to sleep.
That's the one step that we're trying to avoid.
If they get upset, use your own judgment.
You're the only one who knows
how comfortable you are with how upset your child is.
This is all going to be different for them.
It's a big learning phase.
But you have to be the judge
of what's best for your family and for your child.
If you're happy with a bit of grizzling
and you can,
and you're happy to stay there with your child,
or if you're happy to listen to them grizzle
from outside the door.
Fine, you do what works best for you.
We will support you with whatever you choose.
If your baby is upset and you're not okay with it,
pick them up.
What I would suggest in this example
is nurse them again.
Feed them.
Give them that familiar association.
Say, hey, I'm here for you.
I'm gonna do what I know you're familiar with
and what you're wanting.
But we're just not gonna do it all the way till asleep.
Calm them with that feed
and then pop them back in their bed,
awake but very ready for sleep.
I would recommend doing this
until your little one falls asleep.
If you have to settle them in a hands-on way in their bed,
pat their bottom, pat their tummy,
stroke their head.
If you can, settle them in their bed.
Because that is step one,
is them falling asleep in their bed.
It doesn't matter at this point
if you have settled them to sleep.
Put them in their bed and settle them in their bed.
At least that's stopped them
from falling asleep while nursing on you.
And that is a massive win.
What you would then look to do is every few days,
just reduce that sleep association,
that feeding or that nursing,
less and less each time.
It doesn't mean that you're just gonna rip them off you
and throw them in their bed and walk away.
Just do it less and less.
Go at your own pace.
Go at your baby's pace.
And listen to your baby
and respond with how you feel is appropriate.
Eventually your baby will be falling asleep
on their own in their bed.
And you can just remove the input more and more
as you feel comfortable with it.
And this will work with any existing sleep association.
So if you rock your baby to sleep,
just do that but less and less.
But still pick them up and rock them,
if they're getting upset
or if you're uncomfortable with how they're going
with learning to fall asleep.
I would be using these methods
for all of their daytime naps
and for bedtime in the evening.
Once your little one is able to happily go into bed awake,
fall asleep on their own,
you should see a massive improvement
to their night time sleep
and to the duration and quality of their naps as a result.
This is sleep training.
It's not devastating and emotional
and harmful.
It is just changing a habit.
It is just helping your child move into something new.
That's all.
What I'm going to say about sleep training,
whatever method you choose,
is that it is going to be 100 times more effective
if your baby is ready to go to sleep.
That's what I was talking about
in the earlier part of the video.
If your baby is over-tired or under-tired
or their sleep environment is not right
or if they're hungry or if they have wind,
then sleep training,
even with our gradual methods like this,
is going to be way harder
and will result in more crying.
So if you're wanting to achieve sleep training
but in a really gentle, no cry way,
you have to do those initial steps first
or your little one is going to cry.
And there's really no avoiding that.
The good news is we're here to help you,
100% of the way.
We have all of that information.
The awake times, the ideal nap lengths,
the information about how to create
that sleep sanctuary for your little one.
We have it all wrapped up
in this amazing and comprehensive online program,
which you can access immediately.
We have all of our different sleep training methods.
I think we have nine to choose from.
Whatever your little one's current sleep association,
you pick the method that you want to use.
And we talk you through it,
day by day, step by step.
We also have sleep consultants.
Our certified and trained sleep consultants,
who are available to you inside our mobile app,
To answer your questions.
To help you, to guide you,
on your little one's sleep journey.
So check out the Sleep Programs on our website,
to access all of that information
and that personal support.
And make sure you subscribe here,
to our YouTube channel,
so we can continue to help you with videos like this one.
Thank you so much for watching.
I hope this has helped, answer your question of,
Can I sleep train my baby without using a cry it out method?
In short, yes you can.
Just come and see us.
We've got it covered.
Thanks again, guys.
I'll talk to you soon.