(car tires screeching)
- There she is, get her, get her!
- [Paul] Go go go!
- Little step, goddamn she's tall.
- [Dale] Come on!
- Going, close the door.
- I'm trying. - Drive, drive!
- Whoa. Nice to meet you guys.
I've never met somebody so eager
for a meet-and-greet before.
- What? No, we're kidnapping you.
You guys want to take a selfie?
- Get her phone!
- You're right, the other one has a much better camera.
I get it.
Some people don't love the camera like me and that's okay.
- Hey, why you being so chill about this?
Don't you want to know like where we're taking you?
- I've learned that life is like a roller coaster.
Instead of getting scared just put your hands in the air
and go whee, whee, whee!
- We're taking you to a warehouse outside the city
until your parents pay us $5 million.
- It's so gloomy in here.
Hold on guys, I got you.
(lively music)
There we go, now the vibes are much better.
- You know, she's not wrong.
- Shut up, Paul.
- Don't use my real name, dude.
- Thanks Paul.
So what were you guys saying again?
- Now she knows my name.
- We're taking you for ransom to extort your parents
for $5 million.
- Oh, okay, let me just text my mom
and let her know I'm okay.
- I told you to get her phone!
- [Paul] I did!
(tires screeching)
(dramatic music)
- Jesus. I always forget how tall she is.
- Whoa, it's cool in here.
Love the exposed pipes.
- You know, I said the same thing.
Can you believe Lenny wanted to cover them up?
- Paul, you just said my real name.
- Oh, so it's a problem when I do it?
- Just go get the camera equipment and set it up.
- I will, fine.
- Camera equipment, are we making TikToks,
'cause that's perfect, I just learned a new dance.
- No, no.
We're making a ransom video to send to your parents.
- Oh, okay, I'll get the reverse angle on you.
- Where do you keep getting these phones?
- In my backpack, silly.
Oh, you might not want to set it exactly right there.
It's kinda dark.
- Oh, okay, where were you thinking?
- No, we're doing it here!
Okay. I'll just get my ring light then.
- Oh, perfect. - Oh my God.
- No, remember I said we should get one of these?
- [Lenny] Mr. and Mrs. Siwa, we have your daughter.
Bring us $5 million by sunrise or she gets it.
- Hi Mom and Dad, I'm having a great time
with my new friends, Lenny and Paul.
- No, why would you say that?
Also take that glitter off, this isn't a party!
- Hey, hey, hey, JoJo, let's just try it again.
Maybe a little bit more scared this time.
- Great note, Paul.
- [Lenny] Mr. and Mrs. Siwa, we have your daughter.
Bring us $5 million by sunrise or she gets it.
- Hi, Mom and Dad, I'm so super scared.
But I'm not really.
- No!
(laughing)
- [Lenny] We have your daughter, bring us $5 million
by sunrise or she gets it.
- Hi Mom and Dad.
I'm having a time and it's great. (laughing)
Oh, I heard it that time, okay, let's go back.
- Cut!
Don't mention what kind of time you're having at all.
- Got it.
Hey Mom and Dad, I'm hearing it out with Lenny
and Paul, and I didn't get the driver's name.
- It's Dale.
- Hi. - Hey.
- Hey Mom and Dad.
You know what?
Tensions are high.
Maybe we should pause for lunch.
I bet after a full meal we'll really get
to nail this thing.
- Okay. I can go out and get us some food.
- No! You don't take orders from her.
You take them from me.
But yes, I am hungry, so go get us food.
- What do you want?
- I don't care.
- Long John Silver's?
- I love Long John Silver's, it's the best!
- We can split a seafood sampler.
- Just go already!
- Okay.
- Jesus Christ, I gotta step out.
Goddamn it.
Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Siwa?
I have your daughter.
If you ever want to see her again
bring $5 million to the Westfield Mall parking lot.
Do not get the cops involved.
5:30, don't be late.
Okay, I love you.
What are you doing?
- She made me beautiful.
- You were always beautiful.
I just highlighted what was already there.
- Are you stupid or just (bleep) crazy?
Get that crap off your face!
- JoJo gave me the strength to be honest with you.
I do not like the way you talk to me.
I'm your business partner and I demand more respect.
- Excuse me?
- And furthermore, I think you should take
my business ideas more seriously.
- Whispering is not a business idea!
- Yes, it is!
With the right attitude.
- I'm going to say this slow so you understand.
We are not business partners!
You work for me!
- Then I am terminating our relationship
both personal and professional.
I am leaving, do not contact me.
- I'm proud of you.
- See this weekend? - You bet.
- Dammit! (sighs)
- You okay?
- Do I look okay?
Sorry, I'm stressed.
- Let's talk about it.
- I'm just no good at this.
And look at me.
I'm a freaking loser and I'm the worst kidnapper ever.
- Hey, we don't talk about ourselves like that.
- It's true.
- No, it's not.
Let me ask you this.
How many times have you done a kidnapping before?
- This is my first one.
- Well, that explains why you guys weren't wearing masks.
Well, listen, you can't be good at something
the first time you do it.
Here's the secret.
I used to be a terrible dancer.
- Yeah right.
- Pinky swear.
I was so uncoordinated I'd fall all the time,
but I didn't give up.
I practiced and practiced and then one day I was good.
You just got to practice some more.
Come on.
- Where are we going?
- We're going to go get you some more practice.
- You're going to help me?
- Yep. Now let's go kidnap a person.
- Okay.
(dramatic music)
(laughing)
- You did it, Lenny.
- No, JoJo, we did it, thank you.
- You're welcome.
I got one more surprise for you.
- Hey. - Hey.
- Looks like you guys have some catching up to do.
- And looks like the real kidnapping
is when JoJo kidnapped our hearts.
- Dale, oh my God, where'd you come from?
- I came back from Long John Silver's and no one was here,
so I just sort of waited.
- How long you've been standing there?
- Long enough to eat a whole sampler platter by myself.
(laughing)
- [JoJo, Lenny, and Paul] Dale!
(laughing)
- No, seriously, I ate all the food and I don't feel good.
I think I need to go to hospital.
- Oh my God, okay, we'll take you, we'll take you.
- I feel very nauseous right now.
- [JoJo] Is my car nearby?
It has my face on it.
- Guys, my hands are still tied.
- [Dale] I'm gonna throw up.
♪ Goodbye JoJo, goodbye Lenny ♪
♪ Blame the Ciroc, blame it on the Henney ♪
♪ JoJo (laughing) gone, my hands aren't tied ♪
♪ But my brain, it has been fried ♪
♪ By the makeup, I think I'm allergic to the makeup ♪
♪ I won't make it up ♪
- I also have tampons if anybody needs.
- [Paul] Lenny, I was just saying.
- What were you saying?
- We should get tampons.
- Why?
- In case we have to poop during the robbery,
the kidnapping.
You just poop and then it's no more problem.
Don't have to go no more.
- All right.
(Dale laughing)
(beep)
- Shut up, Paul.
- Don't use my real name.
- Paul.
(bleep)
(laughing)