All: We're back!
Hello, and welcome to season 8...
Jory: ...Of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
And, please, don't try this at home!
Hello, and welcome to the 8th season of...
Jory and Riley: ..."Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?"
Riley: (in announcer voice) Ladies and gentlemen, your host with the most, Jory Caron!
Jory: (in announcer voice) And joining me over there is my sidekick, Riley McIlwain!
Look at all this stuff we're gonna be microwaving this season! Look at all of this! Just take a gander at it really quickly- go for it!
Jory: We've got a blowfish...
Jory: We've got all of this crap we got from a gathering...
Jory: We've got C3PO...
Jory: We've got an "easy" button...
*"easy" button goes off and says, "That was easy!"*
Jory: We've got chain mail...
Jory: Smoke bombs...
Jory: Glow sticks...
Jory: We've got the Shamwow... (singing) "You'll be saying 'wow'!"
Jory: Fluff, a fan...
Jory: A Wii...
Jory: A George Foreman grill... We've got sunglasses...
Jory: Lady Liberty- how beautiful is she?!
Jory: We've got Crocs over here...
Riley: We've got a PS3...
Riley: A giant thermometer...
Riley: A fairy glow wand...
Riley: An iron- we've got an iron here!
Riley: Assorted food coloring...
Jory: But today, we're gonna be microwaving this PlayStation 3!
Look at this- it's like a hunk of awesome in brick form! It's so heavy, it's, like... That's why Riley has to carry it right now! What's their motto again?
Riley: Uh... "Play"... PS... PS3- "Piece of [beep] 3"!
That's right, and that's why it's going in my microwave!
*theme song plays*
Jory: It smells like victory!
Jory: All hands to the deck!
Jory: Nobody likes roasted nuts!
Jory: Let's get outta here!
Jory: Ventilation is key!
Jon: What're you doing?! Put that out!
Jory: The masks- they do nothing!
Riley: (muffled) Be careful!
Riley: The tin foil shield- it actually works!
Jon: Does it still work?
Jory: You're dumb!
Jory: Stopping, stopping!
Jory and Riley: 2.8!
Jory: Is it a good idea to microwave this?
Let's find out! Here at the Jory Caron Laboratory 2-point... (to Riley) What are we at now, official recordkeeper?
Riley: It's 2-point... 1, 2, 3, 4...
Riley: ...5, 6, 7, 8!
Jory: Dude, that was... There was something to that, I think! So, 2.8!
Riley: I was practicing!
So, new for this season- we're forgoing our safety speech, because, really, it didn't matter at ALL! So, we're just skipping it. But for this episode, I guess we'll just say, "Hey, look at these masks!"
Jory: (muffled through mask) They might actually do something now!
And that's cool, 'cause that'll keep us alive! And fans and all that good stuff... But we also have this new Sharp carousel microwave. What's her name? Shaniqua!
Jon: I don't know how to spell that! Pick something easier!
Riley: Bad name!
You can't just name her something... Sarah? Have we gone with "Sarah"?
Jon: "Sarah" it is!
Jory: Sarah! Okay, it's Sarah! Look how big she is!
Riley: There it is, the PS3, big ol' sons of biscuits!
Jory: So, how long am I gonna put this in there for?
Jon: PlayStation 33... 9:33, just under 10 minutes!
Jory: Okay, let's go and do this!
*PlayStation 3 electronic sound*
Jory: Where the hell...?! Oh, there it is!
Jon: It's in the middle, Jory. Get outta there!
Jory: Ooh! Sparks right off the bat! Sarah's a feisty one!
Jon: Feisty little woman!
Riley: (in stupid-sounding voice) Duh! Which way do I turn? Which way do I turn?
Jory: (also in stupid-sounding voice) I'm so stuck right now!
Jory: I'd hate to see her park! Then again, women can't park anyways, so...
Riley: I just have a bad feeling about this. It's gonna be a big, fiery...
Jon: (to Riley) Thanks, Obi-Wan Kenobi!
Jory: (in serious Obi-Wan voice) I've got a bad feeling about this!
Jon: I love our new retail ad space with all of these stickers on it! Are we seeing any action with the PS3?
Jory: You know on the inside, though, it's on fire. It's only a matter of time!
Riley: Oh, do you smell that?
Jory: Oh, that was me!
Riley: OH!
Jory: Oh, come on- do it again!
Riley: That looked dangerous! Oh, look at the light emitting from inside of it!
Jory: It's broken, though.
Jon: You know, it's kind of fitting that the first episode we released in 1080p is microwaving a device that is capable of playing back 1080p Blu-rays!
Riley: Whoa! That was nice!
Jon: What was that?
Jory: I'm waiting for the fire!
Riley: (to Jon) It was a little, like, flame... WHOA!
Jory: It's times like these that I ask myself, "Do I really care for this microwave? Do I WANT to save her, or don't I?" That's why it take so long to decide, like, what's goin' on here!
Jory: Yeah, this is probably good...
Riley: (muffled through mask) Masks on! Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go!
Riley: (muffled) Ready, Jory?
Jory: (muffled) One second...
Riley: (muffled) Oh, no!
Jory: (muffled) Oh, no!
Riley: (muffled) Wait- we have to talk extra loud with the masks on!
Jory: (muffled) I've gotta test the atmosphere...
Yeah, it's not bad! We can sustain in this environment, I believe.
Jon: (muffled) I'm gonna leave mine on!
Jory: I farted, though, so you might wanna leave it!
Jon: (muffled) Put that on before you open this!
Jory: Open!
Riley: Whoa!
Jory: I'm goin' in for glove... First contact!
Riley: (to Jory) Oh! Your glove's on fire, your glove's on fire! Glove's on fire!
Jory: Fire extinguisher!
*Jory laughs like a demented clown*
Jory: Ready?
Riley: 3... 2... 1... Go!
Jon: (muffled) Go, go, go!
*fire extinguisher whooshes*
Riley: I think we got it!
Jon: (muffled) Good shot, Red 2!
Riley: Easy, easy...
Jory: Okay, well, there's...
Jon: (muffled) It looks like it's totally fine except for that one corner.
Riley: That's wicked weird! It's, like, "Oh, my God! Look what we found in the wreckage- a PlayStation 3!"
Riley: (rubs off fire extinguisher residue) Look at this!
Jory: Oh, great!
Riley: Wait- don't touch it, don't touch it! Let's try to keep it in one piece.
Jory: You may be wondering, is it a good idea to microwave a PlayStation 3?
Riley: You know, I guess if there's, you know, if it's broken and there's no salvaging it, then, why not?
Uh, I'm gonna attack it from a different angle of "no"! There's fire, I mean... Come on! I mean... Well, that's about it for this episode of "Is it a Good Idea to Microwave This?" I'm your host, Jory Caron.
What are these fluff molecule things?!
Riley: I was thinking the same thing! That's why I was, like...!
*end credits play*
Today... Oh, this is the stuff we're gonna be microwaving this season of 8... We should do that again!
Jon: Terrible! Absolutely awful!
*Click on episode #134 for a late April Fool's day surprise!*