Can we tell the difference between Whole Foods
and the 99 Cent Store?
Let's talk about that.
( music playing )
Good Mythical morning!
Today I'mma be guessing the popularity
of some of the dumbest celebrity tweets of all time
and watching Rhett eat an entire can of beans.
Hey. But first, Whole Foods is a great place to buy groceries
if you want to shop farm to table,
but given their prices, it also means you'll be living
- hand to mouth. - Uh-huh.
They pride themselves on having healthy food that's organic.
They've got vegan food, gluten-free food,
dairy-free food, they've got food with no GMOs.
And the 99 Cent Store...
has food that's 99 cents.
But can anyone really tell the difference?
It's time for...
( howls )
Here's how it works.
We're going to be presented with two identical meals
that we are going to taste.
One dish is prepared entirely from ingredients
from Whole Foods,
the other one with ingredients entirely acquired
from the 99 Cent Store.
We have to decide which is which
by placing the flags...
- Yes. - ...on them.
And whoever has the most right at the end
wins a very special treat
from the 99 Cent Store.
Let's do this.
These cobb salads in front of us right now
look pretty much identical.
I mean, at first glance.
But one of them costs just under three dollars
the other one just under nine dollars,
so there's a six-dollar difference here
that my naked eye is not telling me.
The Whole Foods one is more expensive.
Yeah.
Uh, now, typically, when I eat a cobb salad,
which I do order quite a bit,
I-- I do the old mixaroony,
but I feel like that's gonna cause me
to not be able to taste as well.
I'm just gonna grab a few ingredients here.
A little bit of blue cheese 'cause I don't love that,
but I gotta have a little bit of sauce,
little bit of dressing.
Throw that on there.
That was good. I think it's the ham
that's gonna help me out here.
The little ham help?
The ham.
You wanna get a little ham help.
You put ham-- you've soiled the blue cheese on this side
with your ham.
Mm.
I feel like the plate in front of you,
the bacon was better.
The ham-- let me look at some more of that ham.
They're both really good. I mean, right off the bat--
There's no difference.
It's been a while since I've been in the 99 Cent Store,
and I didn't know they added produce to the list,
but it's working well.
This is difficult.
I am ultimately gonna go
with that being Whole Foods
because the bacon tasted a little better.
You're disagreeing with me.
I'm disagreeing with you
because I feel like
just the overall appearance--
Everything seems a little bit fresher
and a little bit newer on this side.
- Link: Mm-hm. - Stevie:
The Whole Foods dish is on Rhett's side.
- Ah! You're right, Link. - I was correct.
Okay, to clarify,
this is not like a store-bought frozen burrito.
Tess made these out of the ingredients
from these places.
So they look exactly the same.
One of them's two bucks, just under it,
and one of them's $5.70.
So we're talking 3.70 difference here.
We're gonna go with this one first?
- Man... - And I think the--
- ...it looks so tasty. - It does look--
I like a good breakfast burrito. You want salsa?
'Cause if I do salsa and you don't do salsa
- and we dink, we both get salsa. - I'm doing salsa.
So if we both do salsa and then we dink, we both have salsa.
- It's okay. - Oh, well, then go-- go--
It's okay. I can give you salsa through a dink,
or we can just get--
Go ham on the salsa, and then dink it.
Yeah, and then smush it.
You don't have enough salsa. I'll give you some more.
- Okay? Okay? - That should be good.
- Get my own doggone salsa. - Oh, gosh, we shouldn't have done that.
Okay.
- Man... - Good morning.
- That's good. - I have to stop myself
from just immediately eating this whole thing.
Mm-hm. Grab one of these.
You wanna do the same thing?
No, let's just do the old fashioned way.
I'm just gonna take all the salsa.
Every man should get his own salsa.
Now...
I don't mean to help you out here,
but I think it's the salsa
that's gonna help us figure this out
because the salsa is a prepared thing,
or did you make the salsa from scratch?
No, the salsa is not made from scratch.
-
- from the store. -
- Hm. - Hm.
This is a chunkier, spicier salsa.
The burrito tastes the same.
Which one's my burrito?
'Cause I gotta go back in for second-zies.
That one.
Golly. I just like eating.
I remember that every time I eat.
I remember how much I like eating when I eat.
Yeah, at least three times a day.
Um, I have a sneaking suspicion
that this one over here in front of me is from Whole Foods.
Man, you know what, Link?
I'm seeing things differently than you today.
$3.70--
- You were right last time. - ...difference.
I just-- I enjoy this one more,
so I'm just assuming it's the more expensive one.
Okay, the Whole Foods dish is on... Link's side.
Whoa-ho! You're on a roll, Link!
Now, I'm not happy to be losing,
but I'm happy to be learning
that the 99 Cent Store
brings the frickin' heat.
I mean, how are they doing this?
Well, you also get someone who knows what they're doing to prepare it.
So if you're crappy at making things,
they'll both be crappy equally.
Oops. Dink it.
Little rice.
- Hm. - That tastes good.
- Eh. It tastes okay to me. - Doesn't taste great.
I'm trying to get the same ratios of everything.
Basically the same bite.
Oh, gosh, I'm having trouble recreating that bite.
Make sure you get some chicken.
Oh, I'm gettin' some chicken.
That chicken's good.
- Wow. - There's something a little funky
about that one.
To me, it's coming down to the sauce,
and I think this sauce is a little better,
a little more high dollar.
We're talking 2.50 vs. $6,
so there's not a big difference here,
but still I'm discerning that
this is the Whole Foods in front of me.
That's what I'm saying.
- You know what? - What do you think?
I feel differently.
I mean, this has been wrong every time.
Stick with it.
But I'm gonna keep rolling with it.
Yeah. All right, Stevie.
The Whole Foods dish is on Rhett's side.
Ooh.
So did I get it right?
You got it right.
One of these sandwiches costs 70 cents,
70 cents worth of ingredients,
the other one, $3.60.
Huh.
I'm making observations about the bread.
I'm making observations about the ham.
This bread is tighter,
tight-- it's a tight--
you know, less bu--
This, big bubbles,
but which one's worse?
- And that ham-- - Who knows?
This ham is a little more marbly.
That ham seems a little more unison-- uniform.
I like the way you arranged both sandwiches out.
Thank you, chef.
This is like my school lunch come flooding back to me
- like paper-- paper bag. - I had a lot of these.
- Man, it's so uniform. - Biting right in the middle.
Did I get a little on my face?
- No. Yeah. - You didn't either.
- You did. - ( laughter )
Okay, so there's that one.
Here you go. Grab one of these.
Actually, just bite that one again.
Are you handing it to me or are you...
Feeding it to you.
- I'll grab my own. - Okay.
( mocking ) "I'll grab my own."
- I grab my own sandwich. - Okay, here we go.
I'm going for the corner this time.
- Mm. - That right there.
This is a better sandwich.
I don't know why. I can't tell you why.
It is a better sandwich.
I think the cheese is better.
I'm gonna have to agree with you on this one, Link.
We are finally in alignment,
which means we're both probably wrong. Stevie?
And you're both wrong.
The Whole Foods dish is on Rhett's side.
- Really? - What?
70-cent sandwich. Don't--
Don't overpay for a ham sandwich any longer!
One of these made-from-scratch clam chowder bowls
cost 20 bucks.
Dang, Whole Foods.
And the other one costs almost seven bucks.
This is a $13 discrepancy here.
This should be obvious.
You would think.
But so far it has not been.
And they do not look any different.
You know what? You could serve this to the queen.
You know what I'm saying?
- That's a good show. - Is she coming over?
Those Brits, they like that kind of thing,
serving cheap food to the queen.
They'd love that. They'd put it on the BBC
and the next thing you know, we'd be wanting one.
"Queen eats 99-Cent food."
Every time y'all put something on the BBC,
we gotta have that, too.
Ain't nothing to complain about.
But is there anything to rave about?
Doesn't taste like a $20 bowl of soup.
No. Maybe this one would.
You using the same spoon?
Or, sorry. I double dipped?
I have a different spoon for sanitary reasons--
Thanks for not double dipping.
...and also to help my guessing.
But I guess you're not abiding by that rule.
Oh, gosh, I'm gonna have to make the--
I'm making the big move.
This is difficult.
At first it tastes no different,
and then afterward it tastes a little different.
Man, I just feel like I'm flipping a coin at this point.
I think that one tastes better
for reasons that make it cheaper.
- Link-- - I'm a believer in the 99 Cent Store.
I am, too.
The queen would never know.
But I just-- I have a sense
I have a sense.
Stevie.
Okay, the Whole Foods dish
is on Link's side.
I was wrong.
Okay, make a wish.
We gotta blow these things out.
Should we sing first?
- ♪ Happy birth-- ♪ - ♪ First ♪
( laughter )
Is that what you meant?
Oh, such a-- such a gentle blow.
I'm trying not to spit on the cake.
I respect that. I respect that.
Now, right off the bat--
I'm-- I gotta wish.
Oh.
Should I have wished before I blew?
- Yeah. - I blew it, okay.
I wish that I won, but I can't now.
'Cause I'm down so much.
Sprinklers here are much bigger than these sprinkles.
- Yes, uh-- - I said "sprinklers."
Who cares?
Now, so you gotta ask yourself,
what's the cheaper sprinkle?
You know? Is it bigger and brighter?
This feels a little froufrou,
like the people at Whole Foods were like,
"We can't do the the really bright, big sprinkles."
- This is more refined. - "Ooh!"
There's a $20 difference here almost, though.
- So one of these-- - Yeah, 20--
One of them is $28 and one of them is 7.41.
Um-- we gotta taste it.
It's just not about looking at sprinkles all day.
You starting here?
How are we gonna do this?
You know, the way I always eat a cake.
You just stick a fork in it and start eating.
Ooh, that is a thick cake.
That's a sign. Isn't it?
Isn't that a sign?
It is a har-- that was a hard cake to get into.
- Oh, gosh. - Here you go.
( raspy voice ) Here you go.
Um...
Huh.
Hm.
The sprinkles are-- it's like eating dirt.
It's very gritty.
Yeah, it's like you dropped the cake in the sand.
- Yes. - "Eat it, kids!
We didn't come out here
to celebrate your friggin' seven-year-old party..."
"For you to refuse to eat your cake."
"So you could drop the frickin'--
You dropped it in the sand, you eat it!"
That was what my seventh birthday was like.
I'm still recovering.
Ooh, much softer.
But is soft better?
That's the question.
- Oh, so easy. - Earthquake.
So easy to get into this cake.
- Oh. - That is a--
It's a totally different thing.
It's like a angel food cake.
Mm, it's better, too.
- Mm. - This is like my eighth birthday party
where I didn't drop the cake.
Mm-hm.
Whole Foods don't know nothin' about sweets.
You can't make something unhealthy healthy,
or organic or expensive,
and it be better.
You know what, Link?
I'm almost sure that you're correct,
but just so I can make up a point,
or go deeper in the hole, I'm going to be different.
- So you think this might be Whole Foods. -
All right.
The Whole Foods cake is on Link's side.
Yep!
Yes!
Congratulations, Link. You can have that whole cake.
- I'm gonna have this one. - I don't want it,
but I won a special prize from the 99 Cent Store.
"Not my"--
"Not My Day poop emoji."
Congratulations to Link,
and congratulations to the freakin' 99 Cent Store.
Do all your shopping there.
Not a sponsor. We just love 'em.
These poop emojis actually taste like cola.
- I'm a little disappointed. - Sorry.
Next up, you've never seen someone eat a can of beans
like this before.
It's me. I'm eating the beans.
Link:
a new episode of our podcast "Ear Biscuits"
is available on Apple Podcast
or wherever you get podcasts.