Eoghan: In my mind I thought primates using like the iPhones or something.
but it might not be that.
Bláithín: This is Bear Grylls
Davey: Is this the lad who got locked out of his house,
and just
had to
forge a life in his back garden?
Eoghan: So what is he weaving a basket or something?
Davey: Cut to Full House
John: Is he making a hula skirt?
Bláithín: This is by the way, so dull.
John: That's a basket.
Davey: Could do with a bit of narration now.
Eoghan: No one said "Hi," "Welcome" like...
Bláithín: I'm just saying I want to be greeted
Clare: Is he gonna set it on fire? Or no.
John: Or is he going fishing with it?
Eoghan: At this point, I would like to know,
what it's turning into
cause I've totally lost interest.
Davey: When does he do human sacrifices?
Cause that's definitely where this is leading.
Bláithín: Ooh, is it a mega phone?
John: Kinda, therapeutic to watch.
Colin: Yeah, it is.
Clare: So boring.
I can't.
John: Get the fish!
Get it!
Davey: I thought he was just going to pick up the fish
and put it in the basket.
Clare: I thought that's what he was doing as well
Davey: Like, DONE
John: How did he just lift up the floor?
Eoghan: I mean people have such short attention spans.
How do they not switch off after the first two seconds?
Colin: I wanna see the camera he built
that shot all this.
John: Just thinkin' that.
Davey: I hope he pulls out just like a box of fish fingers.
Like this is just the most beautiful joke.
John: Fish aren't that stupid
that they'd just swim into it and stay there.
Clare: What the **** is that yoke?
John: Hey, he got one!
Davey: A lot of work to catch one shrimp at a time.
Colin: I'll save this one for later.
Eoghan: It doesn't look very edible though.
Bláithín: No. Well not yet.
He's gonna cook it.
John: Hours later...
They don't tell you that.
Davey: He's not wearing a shirt, so he can show off
his arms while he's doing that,
Clare: I just feel like there's no need for him to be topless.
Bláithín: If you're living in the forest
and you're doing the whole primitive thing
Why are you wearing clothes at all?
John: Uh, get *slams*
get him *slams*
Clare: I hate the way those move. Uhgh!
John: Sorry, Walter.
*pained sound*
Bláithín: Oh god.
Clare: AAaaaAaah.
Eoghan: Like this is a dinner and he's still working on it.
John: Is that a cooked shrimp, like straight from the river?
Clare: I think he's going for mysterious,
but he's striking me as super creepy.
Eoghan: It's a refreshing change of pace
from what we usually watch
I have to say.
Clare: That was awful.
Davey: It was atrocious.
Clare: I want those seven minutes of my life back.
Colin: Guy making fire, makes a little basket,
sure whatever, then he starts boiling stuff?
John: I know.
Colin: I was like What?!
Clare: At least Bear Grylls entertains you a bit.
Davey: Yeah.
Clare: Like he's an idiot, but he entertains you.
John: I like that he has instructions, this time round.
Clare: First step, find a rock that kinda already looks like an axe.
John: He's making goal posts.
Bláithín: He's having a party.
He's setting up the limbo.
Eoghan: Oh, right.
John: Wow , cool!
Bláithín: There's just something really hot about him
cause he just won't- he won't engage with me at all.
John: That is cool man!
That's the coolest thing ever.
Bláithín: You can't not fancy that, he's making a house
for me and my kids.
Eoghan: A love nest.
John: I really want to go home
and start making the thing.
I-I genuinely do!
Davey: Not a Safe Pass to be seen here now,
you shouldn't be able to build inside without.
Clare: Oh, he's so weird.
Bláithín: What?
That's insane.
Davey: How often do you think he missed and like cracked his wrist?
Eoghan: We're skipping a lot here.
Bláithín: Yeah.
Eoghan: I feel like he makes a lot of progress quickly,
and I don't know how he did it.
Clare: That house is looking pretty good,
okay I'm impressed.
Eogahn: Oh, okay!
Bláithín: Okay, right-right-right-yeah!
Eoghan: That's important.
Clare: Oh, he's plastering his walls.
Davey: Yeah
John: This is the coolest. I love this.
Clare: He's gonna spend so much time building
this house and then just leave it there.
Bláithín: Look, you've got a house in the forest now.
Eoghan: He didn't even have a Tracker morgage.
Clare: I'm learning a lot about myself.
I'm disappointed that I'm so bored by this.
John: He says it's a fire pit, that's a toilet.
Bláithín: If you enter a toilet from that,
the shit would go into your house.
Clare: That's a proper like chimney flume and he's doing it
while the smoke- this is wild.
Bláithín: Why doesn't he talk? It's so confusing like,
when he's not talking
John: Don't say it...
It looks like a big...
fireplace.
Bláithín: The finished hut is a small but comfortable size.
Colin: And it's only 500 Euro a month in Dublin.
John: Yeah, Exactly!
Davey: Lead with that!
Don't lead with "I caught shrimp with some sticks"
Bláithín: I'd gladly live there if I had no where else to live.
Colin: Ah, you saw from humble beginnings
when you were like "Wah, he's making goal posts"
There you're like, he actually made like,
a functioning house.
Bláithín: I could watch more of that,
I don't think I would though.
Davey: It's like when you're watching your dog,
and you're dog doesn't know it's being watched.
Like what are you thinking?
Like what is going on in your head?
John: He's awesome though, I think he's great.
Eoghan: I wonder if anyone has watched and been like
"Right, I'm going out to do that now."
John: Get a bucket of mud, we've got work to do.
See you down the park.
D'ye reckon he has like a-
square thing made of those of those sticks
and he just puts his socks on
there *insert puppet noises*
and just has his own entertainment?
And makes his own primitive show?