We haven't reviewed the reviewers in a while.
Do you want to review the reviewers?
Let's try it again. She was.
Sorry.
I don't know what her problem was.
No, you were...
I was trying to keep it from falling.
No you weren't. Don't touch it. Don't touch it.
I'm gonna make sure it doesn't fall.
Don't, I don't, don't touch it.
Here we go.
It's okay now.
Okay.
You're a crazy person.
All this is going in.
You're so, you're such an unhealthy person.
I'm a rabbit.
Oh my God. Okay, what's we got.
You have to keep the I'm a rabbit in
Yeah, I know.
So people know.
I will.
No, people need to know.
They need to.
They, they need to know that I'm a rabbit.
Now you're doing something else.
They do need to know.
Look at, look at what he's doing.
Oh my God.
Just, I'm just
Look at what he's doing.
What's this.
Just guy.
This like, hand? I'm just a guy.
This elegant hand. I'm just a guy.
No one says I'm just a guy.
I'm just a guy.
No guy says I'm just a guy.
Oh man. I'm just a guy.
You're a rabbit.
Ugh.
Okay. Let's do some, let's
My God. This is like if I'm in class.
And the teacher,
I'm a rabbit.
the teacher doesn't see it. And I see it.
And I'm like,
Good thing there's no high def cameras in here.
Hey Teacher, look what he is doing.
Okay. What you got there, Bingo?
All right, Bingo. We're gonna do, we gonna do
Are you okay? Let's try again.
Three, two, up! Chop!
We're going to do review the reviewers.
Okay.
Okay. This is where I pull out some reviews
from the Apple Podcast review section
and we discuss them and we discuss their merits.
I think it is good to hear how the people feel
about what we're doing in here.
Are you drawing breasts?
No, I was drawing eyes, but you go ahead.
I thought it was a butt.
I have to say this.
I've never known us to be more easily distracted.
Yeah.
Everyone's just like, whenever we start to
do something, let's review the reviewers.
And then Sona's like, did I just taste tictac?
You know? And you're like, what?
Literally as you said that,
a fiber was floating through the air
and I just started following it with my eyes.
Okay. Let's start again.
We're gonna focus. (snaps)
Okay. All right.
I I, all right.
All right. Let's all go again.
You're doing it.
You're doing it though.
Yeah.
You know, you're doing it.
Ugh.
I love that you do these things silently
to her and do forget that this is all on video now.
You've just...
But also, none of these things mean anything.
No. You're just like first base coach.
People later on are gonna say like, yeah.
All right, let's go.
Okay. Let's do some review the reviewer.
I love it. I love to hear
I love to hear what the people have to think.
What. The way you say it.
Like you didn't just say it like three minutes ago.
I know. All this is going in anyway.
It doesn't matter.
It's so dumb.
Do you not wanna do this today?
No, I do.
Unbelievable.
What?
One more time.
You're doing, you are doing the phone thing.
Okay.
You gotta stop. You have to stop.
Yeah.
(speaks in foreign language)
Let's do some review the reviewers
Love it, love it. All right.
I love to hear what the people think.
Okay. Here we go...
As they think it.
Here we go. Okay. This is from Megan I-K Wood.
Okay.
The title is bits in the deliver room.
Five stars.
Long time listener, first time reviewer.
I've been catching up on episodes
from Sona and Matt coming back from the paternal leave.
As a mother of two, it occurred to me that Conan doing bits
in the delivery room could be a benefit working
at team Coco or another source of revenue to hire Conan out.
When I was giving birth to my kids, my husband
and I had no time to entertain the hospital staff.
I was really bringing them down,
bringing down the vibes with the whole grunting
and breathing business of labor.
For a small fee,
Conan could have delightfully filled this vacuum.
I can't think of a worse idea.
It's terrible.
It's horrible.
Sona, as you can attest, what
when you go to a hospital to give birth to children
the last thing you want is
some six-foot-four, red flame-haired clown.
Yeah.
Doing bits.
so many bits.
And I, you know, I have been in that environment
twice for the birth of of my two children and
my bits were going nowhere.
Yeah.
I'll tell you right now.
Yeah.
No one was interested in my bits
except my wife certainly didn't want to hear any of it.
And no one else who was around, family,
friends didn't want to hear it.
We did have a doctor who looked after us
when my wife was pregnant with my daughter
and I didn't even make an aggressive joke.
I just, I thought I was just, you know,
I didn't give it any thought
and it certainly didn't seem that funny to me.
But this doctor was talking to me because my
wife really wanted to try and have a natural birth.
And then he said, okay, but if it does
if it's difficult or if you're in too much pain
we could end up or, or, and the baby's not coming,
we could give you some Pitocin.
And I said, what's that?
And he said, Pitocin is the drug that really makes the
the baby come faster.
And I said, Hey, if my wife's in pain
I want you to serve her up a Pitocin omelet.
You know, I just sort of like said that.
And the guy was like, (imitates loud laughter)
PITOCIN OMELET.
And you know when you say something
and you don't even love it that much.
I just went, Hey if my wife needs it,
let's get her a Pitocin omelet.
And he went (imitates loud laughter)
Jesus.
WOO. And then he kept going out in the hall
and being like this guy, this guy.
And you know the worst is when you have a joke,
that's not that great.
Yeah.
And someone then starts repeating it for everyone.
He's like this guy.
And they're like, which guy?
That guy, you know, from Late Night, he said
give her a Pitocin Omelet.
And they were like, eh, and I'm like
I didn't say to repeat it.
I didn't think it was, I was just killing time.
And then every time we saw him in the months afterwards,
he'd be like, uh-oh, here comes.
Hey, I got a chef working on your Pitocin omelet.
Oh no.
I scored a massive home run with this guy.
I don't know why
but I think he had never heard someone make a joke.
Yeah.
Using Pitocin.
One of the main drugs that he used in his work.
Wow.
Yeah.
So that was my experience.
I promise you that it would be awful,
simply awful to have me in a delivery room
while a, a, a woman is trying to give birth to a baby.
Yeah.
Pass a human being through the birth canal.
And I'm there doing the string dance and going like
(sings in cartoon voice)
Yep.
I offered.
Can you imagine if he was there for your delivery?
No. You know, did I tell the story
about when he visited my dad in the ICU?
I can't remember if I did. I don't think so.
But it has, it isn't about your bits.
It was about you being Conan O'Brien
and you visited my dad
in the ICU when he was getting heart surgery.
Right.
And they all abandoned their patients
and they were like, Conan O'Brien is here.
And then they started taking photos with him
And it was kind of crazy
'cause, I swear to God I heard
people flat lining in other rooms.
Like (imitates long beep noise),
and they, I've never seen
They just rushed out.
Yeah, it was
They abandoned everything.
People with like gloves, cleaning people.
Oh, oh my God.
A guy came in to take a selfie with me
and he's like holding a human heart
that he was supposed to put into a chest cavity.
And I'm like, shouldn't you?
And he's like, ah they,
they don't go brain dead for two minutes.
Get in here, get in here.
Let's get a, let's get a shot.
Let's get a shot of the three of us.
I remember. I remember.
Yeah, visiting your dad in the hospital
Which was very nice of you to do.
Oh, yeah, no.
He went for the audience. I mean, let's be honest.
Trust me, I probably did.
And I was killing.
I was killing with her family, with everyone.
Except your
You're killing her dad.
Your uncle, who said I could lose 10 pounds.
Yeah.
I'll never forget that.
But anyway.
Years and years ago, still brings it up
Still. on a weekly basis.
Who says that?
I'm there visiting your father, bringing joy
bringing life when a man is facing his mortality.
Yes. And this guy's like
You know, you could lose 10 pounds.
Yes.
Wow.
Incredible. So I say I shouldn't be,
I should not be in a maternity ward.
I should not be anywhere.
No.
Where someone's giving birth. That's a mistake.
But bring me in before someone's gonna have a surgery.
Yeah.
That is something I've had some experience with.
I do very well with that audience.
You're like a Patch Adams.
I'm kind of a Patch Adams.
Yeah, I'm a Patch Adams.
Yeah. I've got a little rubber nose
that I keep in my lab coat and I put it on.
No, I, I think that
that is the environment for me is
because I think what happens is
your dad might have been worried.
Oh my God, what if I don't make it through this?
And then he talked to me for 10 minutes and thought
there are upsides.
There are upsides to leaving this earth.
I don't have to hear this really white guy yammer on.
No, but it was really nice, 'Cause.
After you left, he, he became the guy in the hospital
who knew Conan O'Brien and that
He got the special surgery.
He got street cred. Yeah.
He got the special heart surgery.
Everyone else gets the shitty one.
Yeah. They're like, you know what
we're gonna do your heart surgery correctly.
As our special bonus treat.
Yeah. All right, well we know all my places then.
Yeah.
And so, to the listener, that's a bad idea.