-Now I thought I'd share some of my favorite
"Why I Got Fired" stories from you guys.
This first one's from @Mishel0107.
She says...
[ Laughter, applause ]
-[ Laughs ]
Is that a vodka?
-This one's from @BarChefPro. -BarChefPro?
This person would know what's in a rum and coke.
-He says...
-Well... [ Cheers and applause ]
-Honesty --
Honesty's the best policy. -Yeah.
-[ Chuckles ]
[ Slurred ] How many drunk days are we allowed?
-Yeah.
[ Slurred ] Well, they didn't know how to make
the rum and coke. -[ Laughs ] Had some rum.
-And Captain Morgan beat the crap outta me.
-[ Laughs ]
[ Normally ] This one's from @virgogirl93.
I wonder if she went to school with my friend Mark Reeves.
[ Laughter ]
She says... -I doubt it.
[ Cheers and applause ] -That's right.
It is worth it to get an autograph from Ryan Reynolds.
I love that dude.
This one's from @Hollyb32.
She says...
-Oh! [ Cheers and applause ]
-♪ The future is here ♪
♪ The future is here ♪
-[ Laughs ] -Uh...
This one's from @MargoBe08471590.
[ Laughter ] It's so catchy.
Just rolls off the tongue. -Rolls off the tongue.
-Very easy to remember.
She says...
♪♪
♪ Give me the music ♪
[ Laughter ]
-That was Zelma. -It's getting. It's getting.
-It's getting. -No. Would you like --
Was that a different song? -"I've Got the Power."
-Oh. -That's "I've Got the Power"
you're thinking of.
-♪ Everybody d-- ♪ How's it go?
-♪ Everybody dance now ♪
[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
-♪ I've got the power ♪
♪♪
-♪ He-e-e-e-ey ♪
♪ I've got the power ♪
-♪ It's getting, it's getting, it's getting kinda hectic ♪
♪ It's getting, it's getting, it's getting kinda hectic ♪
-Love. -Getting kinda hectic?
But then if you're in Walmart, you're like,
"Uh, can you, uh, help me move this TV?"
-Yeah. -"Because it's getting,
it's getting, it's getting kinda heavy.
♪ It's getting, it's getting, it's getting kinda heavy ♪
♪ Everybody dance now ♪
♪♪
[ Laughter ] -Which one?
-"Everybody dance now," and then she's like,
"Give me the music," right? -Uh-huh.
-Then she's like...? -[ Vocalizing ]
-[ Vocalizing ]
♪♪
-Right. -Oh, yeah. That's good.
-♪ I'm lovin' it ♪
[ Laughter ] -No, no, no.
That's a different song. -No? Different one?
-This one's from @kidatheart216. -Aww.
She says, "I booked a hotel overseas
so my boss could attend a conference.
It turned out it was a brothel." -Oh.
Oy! -Oopsie.
-Zoink! -[ Chuckles ]
It's like, "Someone got a raise. Hey."
-[ Laughs ]
[ Laughter ]
-This one's from patchworkgreg. Ooh, that sounds scary.
-Ooh, that sounds spicy.
[ Laughter ]
-He says...
[ Cheers and applause ]
Why don't you just pick up...? -Yeah, fake phone.
-You just pick the phone and fake it.
He probably got charged for it. -[ Laughs ]
-Minutes -- ah, whatever.
This one's from hweir222.
He says...
-Oh! [ Applause ]
I'm going to CVS. -[ Imitates machine whirring ]
This last one's from @MeganMary19.
She says...
There you go. Those are your "Tonight Show" hashtags.
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