- Hi guys, welcome back to my channel.
In today's video, we're going to be giving you some tips
on how to be the perfect birth partner.
I've got my birth partner here with me,
this is my husband, Matt.
So we have three children together
and he was very good and very helpful
throughout the labor and delivery
so I thought this would be a really good video
because I get lots of requests for dad hacks
because I make lots of mom hack videos
so we thought for the first dad hack video
we'll start out with the labor,
so I hope you enjoy these tips.
If you do, please give this video a big thumbs up
and Matt might come back again.
And, yeah, if you're not subscribed to my channel,
do subscribe for more Mom hacks and Dad hacks.
- Tip number one!
- Is to pack a bag with some snacks, the drinks,
anything you're gonna need.
Obviously, as a mum to be,
we pack also a bag for ourselves and for the baby,
but men need stuff as well.
- If you're there for a long time.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- Because that's the thing with labor,
especially if it's your first baby,
normally takes about 24 hours,
but it can be more, so bring everything you're gonna need,
especially when we gave birth,
like you didn't really get a change to leave the room.
- You ain't leavin' her side.
(laughing)
You're not goin to get coffee,
you're not going for a stroll,
you're not making many phone calls.
You are tied down.
- Yeah, no, so but maybe pack some drinks,
like Matt, we had like Coke for the caffeine,
'cause, you know, could be quite long time,
also some snacks, but when it comes to snacks,
don't pack, like, smelly snacks
like onion rings or things that are gonna set
your pregnant, in labor, wife off.
Bring, like, we had like
some granola bars. - Yeah.
- Crisps. - We didn't eat 'em.
- You packed sandwiches.
- Yeah.
- Sandwiches.
- The midwives ate them.
- No. - They didn't.
- But just like think about what you're gonna need, as a man
because your partner
is gonna be tied up - 'Lil bit busy.
For once you can't expect her to make you dinner.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, so pack a bag.
- Tip number two.
- Is to have car parking change ready
so when you get to the hospital,
you've got enough money to buy a car parking ticket
but we also?
- Oh, we always put a sign in as well, always,
'cause we go so many times.
- We've so many kids.
- You can also use this if you're at hospital
and your wife's not in labor. (laughing)
'Cause they'll feel sorry for you.
- Yeah, so, we put a ticket in our car
and then we put, I don't know if that showed up,
we put a sign, you could even write it now,
if you've got heavily pregnant partner, wife in labor.
So we had the ticket, we had that next to it,
and we didn't get a ticket, and we were in there for like?
- Three days. - Quite awhile.
- Tip number three.
- Is to support your partner
in the lead up to labor and delivery
and to know the basics of giving birth.
I will put a link down below if you wanna check out
a website that just tells you
like the basic stages of labor.
- Yeah, just a bit of research, I think, is only fair.
Given what your partner and wife
has gone through to have the baby.
- Yeah.
- I think it's the least you can do
is know what's going on.
Google, YouTube, there's so much our there,
so much material, so just do a little bit of research.
- Mmhmm.
And we did like, antenatal classes, didn't we?
- Yeah and--
- And Matt even came, to my hypnobirthing classes as well
just so he knew, like, I mean, you were a bit like
what we doing but it's just good for you
to know the process,
what it's all about.
- Yeah, so when you were under hypnotherapy,
in labor, I knew things, like to tell the midwives.
Tip number four.
- Is to know your partner's birth plan
and what she wants so even
if you haven't written a birth plan out,
maybe just talk about your wants and your don't wants.
- Yeah.
- Like, I had a birth plan,
but it was a very small birth plan
because obviously things can change,
but there were just a few things that I wanted
like Matt was gonna cut the chord,
I didn't mind having the vitamin E injection if I needed to,
I didn't really want pain relief, if I could avoid it.
There was a few things,
just like you had in your wallet, didn't you?
- Yeah, you just need to know a few things, don't you,
before you go in there, cause obviously you're in no place
to make any decisions.
- And if they ask you,
at least you know my wishes - Yeah.
Yeah, and worse case if you've got it written down,
if it's something you can't remember,
at least something you discussed and you've made note of.
'Cause you don't wanna make a mistake.
- No! (laughing)
- Number five.
- Is to be nice to the midwives, get a rapport,
but also be firm with the midwives.
This is for the men by the way.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- You gotta remember that they're just doing their day job,
so they wanna make their lives,
their job as easy as possible,
although they are the greatest people on this planet.
- Yeah, they're amazing.
- If you're doing the same thing day in, day out,
you wanna do things that make their jobs easier.
But sometimes their job being a bit easier,
doesn't necessarily mean
it's the best for you. - Best for her.
- We found out the first--
- Yeah first. - Second.
- Oh yeah first, yeah and second, yeah.
- Second time around that we had to--
- Yeah 'cause first time 'round, like I said,
we had a few things with the hypno,
I was quite chill for our first time,
like labor and stuff,
so we didn't really know, 'cause it's your first,
you didn't really know how firm we needed to be,
with them, did we?
And I gave birth to my first, on my back,
and I cracked my tailbone, sorry.
And then second time 'round, I said to Matt,
whatever you do, do not let me give birth on my back,
and at one point with Caleb I was seven centimeters dilated
felt like I needed to push,
and they had me on my back to examine me,
and she wanted me to stay there,
and Matt was like "Nope, sorry,
"she has to give birth on all fours"
You physically moved me, she wasn't--
- Yeah but she wasn't-- - She was not happy about it
- You made a mess of something when we moved you
and like, she said, "That's why I haven't moved you."
Clearly because it was easier for her.
Number six.
- Is to write a list.
Matt, especially, works really well with lists.
I think it was really nice for him to have something
to follow while I was in labor
'cause when we're giving birth, kind of, like, in the zone
but you're kind of left, like,
not knowing exactly what to do.
- No.
- So especially in our third labor,
when we had our baby at home,
you had a list of things you had to do, didn't you?
And you liked that. - Yes, say hello.
- No but he was like, it was like, get towels ready,
call the midwife, it was all these things,
I just felt like you worked well having that list,
or even if you're going to hospital, like,
have you got the car seat?
Have you got the bag?
Have you got the chargers?
Have you got the camera?
Have you, I dunno, like--
- Yeah, some people don't work like that but I do.
- Having some jobs, it really helped him.
- You don't look back and think aww,
wish I'd been a bit more organized,
and do ya know what I mean, it's not a massive task, is it?
Even had a practice run for it.
- Yeah!
No, did we do it that time?
- Yeah, 'cause it was a home birth, yeah.
Not with the others, you didn't pretend to visit hospital.
(laughing)
Where do I go, where do I go?
- That's not a bad idea, though,
where's the maternity ward?
You'll be super organized, yeah, we didn't do that.
- Walk in with, you could put a cushion up your tummy,
like six months before.
- Argh!
That is funny.
People are gonna think we do role play now.
- Yeah.
- We don't.
- No. (laughing)
Number seven.
- Is to think of some motivational things
that you can say while your partner is in labor.
Don't you think?
- Yeah, 'cause you're gonna be on the spot,
she needs to hear some comforting words,
you don't wanna say keep going, baby,
EastEnders is on in half an hour.
(laughing)
- No, you don't.
- I'm gonna miss the football if you don't hurry up.
- Yeah, don't say that.
You wanna say, like you're doing amazing,
I know you can do this, like without--
- Ask your wife before what she wants to hear.
(laughing)
Things that she get moved by.
- What would you like to hear?
No, with our children, we knew what we were having,
and we knew the names, so Matt would be like,
we're gonna meet Frasier today,
or I dunno, you could say, like,
some really felt like, labor takes everything out of you,
so if you can draw some strength.
- Also to make her laugh.
- Yeah but we were laughing between contractions,
weren't we? - Yeah.
- Oh and that's a really good point,
do not ask questions during a contraction.
Wait 60 to 90 seconds,
do not ask while she's in that much pain.
- Number eight.
- Is similar to the last point,
but if you can, find out ways
that she likes to be comforted before labor.
So, for me, while I was giving birth,
every contraction, I need to hold Matt,
like I need him to hug me, and if he walked too far,
I was like, get back here.
I need to hug you!
'Cause that oxytocin, like,
it actually helps with the pain.
So if your wife, or partner, like foot massages,
back massages, I dunno, music, get music,
just think of things that will help.
- Number nine.
- Is if you see something gross,
do not mention it and be strong
because, yes, you're gonna see some hard things,
it must actually be really hard for a man
watching the person they love and their child
go through all that pain. - Yeah.
- But you need to, like, not break down on us.
- To be fair, you don't look at it,
in that way, whatsoever,
that I think a woman is worried that a man is thinking,
oh my God, like, what am I seeing here?
You are just watching your child being born.
- Yeah and Matt was so cute that before,
when we're comin' up with these tips,
I said, like-- - In the rehearsals.
- No, but you're gonna see like, you see everything
and you know, some of it's not pretty,
but Matt said you don't think of it like
that's my wife, whatever.
He said you think of it like,
that's my child, that's my son.
- Yeah, that's what you're looking for new--
- Yeah you're not thinking about--
- Thinking about you?
- Stuff going around and around in it.
- Number 10.
- Is get the car seat sorted.
That is a dad job.
I'll link below, what car seat we chose,
and a whole review on it,
but I feel like that is your job to organize,
like we've got enough going on, no?
- Do you how stressful car seats are?
- And you need a car seat,
'cause they won't let you leave hospital without it.
So you need to get that sorted at like, what, 35 weeks?
Maybe even sooner.
- Yeah, I'd say sooner, you never know.
- Yeah.
- And the final tip is to buy your partner a push present.
- Yes, that is a very good tip
and I feel like push presents
are a big thing in North America
but less of a big thing here in the UK
but it's such a nice thing to get,
so it's, basically, a push present is just a nice present
that you give to your partner after they've given birth
or even when you get home,
like when we had Frasier, Matt,
pulled out this ole gift wrapped,
it was like this nice frame
and I dunno, just a really nice touch,
because you've just been through all that, you survived,
you're all emotional. - Get her a frame.
- You're like hormonal, and then someone gives you a present
and it's nice too, and you're like aww.
So, yeah, like go all out, get like jewelry,
bag, or like, I dunno, just bits she likes,
maybe even, like, get some really nice snacks in
that you know are her favorite,
or just like-- - Flowers.
- Yeah, a push present is really nice.
- Right so that's it for this video.
I really hoped you liked Matt's tips
on how to be the perfect birth partner.
Please feel free to share this video
with anyone that you know that is pregnant,
and their partners as well.
And yeah, let me know if you have
any other tips in the comments.
And we'll see you very soon.
Bye.
(gentle music)
Do you wanna say hello or anything?
- Hello. (laughing)
- Tip number one.
(goofy mumbling)
- Tip number one.
- Wait, do it one more time, I wasn't ready.
- Tip number two.
- Oh wait, sorry, one more time.
'Kay, go.
- You've done this before. - Sorry.
- Well, I'll stop doing fingers
'cause I'm gonna run outta-- - Tip number three.
- Tip number three.
Number seven.
(laughing)
- Do it again, sorry. - Sorry.
Number seven.
(laughing)
- 'Kay one more time.
- I'm gonna cut the numbers out I think.
- No, I like it.
Okay, go.
- Number seven.
- Is to, what was the tip? (laughs)
Find out how she likes to be comforted.
- She's crap at this.
12 minutes.
Been a minute if she'd listen to me.
(laughing)
And the final tip is haven't gotten enough fingers,
ays I have, 11!
(laughing)
That's 10 1/2.
Final tip is?
- Wait, okay, okay.
- Wear a condom.
They didn't call it a push present though.
- No but, you know, we deserve a present for that.
- Yeah.
- A designer vagina.
- But what if they didn't push?
(laughing)