Hi there, this is Ajit Nawalkha
and in this video, we are talking
about how to be a successful mindset coach.
Now, before we get
into how to be a successful mindset coach.
Let's just build a common understanding
what a mindset coach really is and what do they do.
Firstly, mindset coach is somebody
who's working with the mindset of individual,
which mostly relates to people's patterns, mindset patterns,
or their beliefs and to turn those patterns
and beliefs into a growth mindset.
If you don't know what a growth mindset or fixed mindset is,
it is a concept delivered by Carol Dweck in her book
"Mindset" where she talks
about how individuals tend to have fixed mindset
in their life, where they tend to do the same thing again
and again and again, feel like there's no other way
to do those things but those things,
whereas people who find more success in their life,
will tend to have something that she calls growth mindset,
which means they're always curious about what else
and what next and what different can happen
and so on and so forth.
So, what we're really doing as a mindset coach,
is we are taking these fixed mindset patterns
and beliefs and behaviors
and trying to turn them into a growth mindset orientation.
When you have a growth mindset in any area of your life,
you tend to see growth in that area of life
because you're curious, you're interested,
you feel like there's a chance of growth,
otherwise in a fixed mindset,
you feel like life's just going to be same, right.
So, what you're doing is your mindset is creating
this transition from fixed mindset to growth mindset,
from the patterns and behaviors and beliefs
that have been installed in you forever and ever and ever
to somebody who's curious and interested
in creating new patterns, new beliefs
and new behaviors in their life.
So, the three steps to becoming a mindset coach.
The step one is to understand
how beliefs and behaviors are actually created.
How are these patterns really getting created in our life?
You see patterns and behaviors
and beliefs that we follow every day in our life
are a function of our past experiences.
This simply means that there might be an event in your life.
There might be a circumstance
that may have happened in your life.
There might be an instance in your life
where you had an experience
and then you made up a story about that experience
and that created your new belief.
Say for example, you had an experienced in your life
where you went on stage and you didn't get an applaud
for that matter you got booed on stage.
Right, now, that experience may give you a pattern
or belief that you are bad at public speaking.
And because you now have that pattern, that belief,
that behavior in you, every single time
that you get an opportunity to speak
even in front of a small group
or in front of your colleagues, you may feel anxiety.
You may feel fear.
You may start believing that you're not good
at public speaking.
And because of that, now you consistently tend to feel
that you can not be a public speaker
or you cannot make a presentation
or you can't make a presentation
even in front of your colleagues,
even in front of your family because of that one experience
that happened in the past.
The first most common way of us to build behaviors,
patterns, and beliefs is experiences of the past
and the story we associated to that experience of the past.
It also is true for anything that is positive.
So say for example, there was a point you spoke on stage
when you were five years old
and you got a great standing ovation and you were like,
"Oh my God, I am such a performer."
And then it got re-established again and again
for several times as you kept speaking on stage
and people started cheering you on.
What may happen is as that experience got compounded
over time and the experience got embodied in your beliefs,
you may just feel it's natural for people to go up on stage
and speak on stage and absolutely crush it, right.
So, either good or bad experience
or either good patterns or bad patterns
or either patterns that empower you or not empower you,
either the behaviors that are good or bad for you,
they're all instilled in us
because of the experience that we have had in the past.
That is the job of our mind, that is the job of our brain
to take all the experiences of life
and translate them into daily behaviors.
The second way that you instill a behavior in yourself
or an attitude or a pattern in your life
or believe in your life is through self-talk.
So, it's not only that an experience creates an outcome.
Based on the experience that you had in life,
you may start talking to yourself in a particular way.
Say for example, if you were to take the example
of public speaking,
you may take the example of public speaking
where it didn't work out and start talking to yourself.
"You're terrible.
You're terrible at talking about this stuff.
You're terrible to be in front of people. You're terrible.
You shouldn't be talking to people.
I did this experiment, this test that was online
called the Myers-Briggs test and they said, I'm an introvert
and I can't really talk to people.
I shouldn't be talking to people."
And your self-talk now is creating this pattern in your mind
because you're just telling yourself
that why you cannot be a good speaker
and you're doing it again and again and again.
So, what happens is even if there was a small event
that should have been in consequential in your life,
because of reasons around it,
this becomes the story of your life.
So, while yes, experiences can build stories,
the reputation of the story of self-talk
that we do to ourselves is what also builds even deeper
or deep seated behaviors and beliefs in a life.
So, we must understand that our behaviors,
our mindset, our current mindset,
fixed mindset is a function of how we experienced something
in the past and what is the self-talk
that we had after that experience or generally in life
based on what maybe data that was presented to us in life.
So, you might go,
"All right, that seems like a lot of programming"
or say, "That seems like that's my identity now,
that's just who I am
because I've been like this for 40 years of my life
because that experience happened when I was two years old."
Or whatever the thing is.
You might go, "How do I change that?"
There's no way I could be changing a 40 year programming.
Well, that's exactly where a mindset coach comes in.
This is exactly where you work with somebody
who knows how to rewire a bad programming
and move you from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset.
Now, becoming a really good mindset coach
requires mastery of human psychology around spirituality,
around how your behavior pattern changes are.
But I'm gonna give you some highlights that you can do,
three very simple things that you can do
to be able to create effective mindset shifts
in your client's life.
Step one is to help your clients get emotional mastery.
You see, in every moment through every event in our life,
through every reputation of self-talk,
we generate emotions, right.
If you are constantly feeling
like you can't be in front of people or you can present
or you can't sell
or whatever is the story that you tell yourself,
every time you tell that story to yourself,
there's an emotion that's getting triggered.
There's a feeling that gets triggered.
Most likely, that emotion in the circumstance
where you don't feel good enough to do something
is of anxiety, is of fear, is of concern towards yourself.
It could be about you beating down yourself and saying
you're not good enough to do this kind of work.
And all of those emotions
when compounded over time keeps building on your self-talk.
So, the first thing that you wanna do
is work with your clients on their emotional mastery,
which is how is it that they regulate their emotions?
If you're feeling fear,
what is it that you do to regulate that emotion?
If you're feeling anxiety, how do you regulate anxiety?
How do you regulate sadness or concern
or lack of confidence?
All of these emotions, all of these feelings
as they happen in your body, in your biology
and your psychology,
you show your clients how to regulate these emotions
and as they get emotional mastery on themselves,
they're able to take events
without the emotion of the event.
So next time they're about to go on stage to talk to people,
they don't simply go, "I'm feeling anxious."
They're able to regulate their anxiety
and then just simply do the thing
that they were going to do, which is talk to people.
And when you take out the emotion from the instance,
it makes it easier for the person to actually do the act.
And that becomes the first step.
It's to help your clients gain emotional mastery
on themselves in the moment as they happen.
So, it's not something that you do once and then it's done.
You have to keep doing it.
They need to be able to process emotions all the time
because emotions are not gonna wait for one day,
they're gonna keep happening, right.
The second thing that you wanna do
is once you've helped them regulate their emotions
and come to a neutral, rational place,
is where you wanna invite them
to choose a more empowered thinking.
What does that mean?
When an event happens life and a circumstance happen,
when a response from the outcome happens
to an event that happens in life,
there is a part that is generated.
And because of that part,
we choose our thinking pattern as a follow-up.
Say for example, you went on stage,
you spoke on stage, right, that's the event that happened.
Now as an event, let's assume that it didn't go well, right.
Let's say you didn't get a standing ovation
or whatever you were looking for.
So, as that event happens, the thought game,
the speaking didn't go well
or speaking on stage didn't go well, right.
Now, that is just a thought,
it doesn't have any emotion to it yet.
It doesn't even have any thinking pattern to it.
It's a matter of fact.
A matter of fact is that the expectation of you presenting
on stage wasn't met.
That's really the matter of fact,
it does not even if it went well or didn't go well,
it's mostly whatever was the expectation
wasn't fulfilled, right.
And that's really what it is, it's a matter of fact.
Now, from this matter of fact,
there are many ways you could choose
to think about it, but I'll give you just two
so you can see how that diversity of thinking can change
everything in life.
One way of thinking about you didn't meet the expectation
is, "I'm a bad public speaker."
Which is probably what happens with most of the people
and hence they tend to believe
that they are not good public speakers.
The second way of thinking
is how can I become a better public speaker?
What is it that I could have done better at this time
so I could have been a better public speaker?
Today, I feel comfortable
actually sharing a personal growth story for myself
as a coach even where recently I was presenting at stage
at one of the events
and traditionally I've tried to speak
at that stage before and I perform very poorly.
Very poorly through the scoring and ratings of the speakers
that we got, right.
I was among the bottom five speakers at an event,
which is a terrible place to be
or felt like a terrible place to be.
But at that time, I didn't ask myself the question
of, "Oh crap, I'm a terrible speaker.
I shouldn't be speaking on stages."
Instead, I said, "I need to master how to speak on stages.
What is it that I can do better?"
And so, I started speaking more with smaller
and smaller audiences, with five people,
10 people, 15 people
because I could regulate what was happening
in five or 10 people.
I could regulate what I could learn.
I could regulate if something that I said lands well
or doesn't land well.
And because of that, I was able to see my progress
where today I am among the top five speakers
at that event that happened just like last weekend.
And the reason why I'm sharing that story with you
is so you can see how changing your thinking
based on what may have happened
can change the complete outcome
that you are experiencing in life.
So, choosing a more empowered thinking in a matter of months
or a matter of years can completely change your life
and shift you from fixed mindset to growth mindset.
And then lastly is to change behaviors
and to change somebody's mindset,
is to give them new habits.
What happens is whenever we are having a challenging time
in life is we lean into our default habits.
You might have observed that if you've had a tough day,
there's a particular thing that you do
at the end of the day.
A lot of people lean on to food because of it
or Netflix because of it.
You've had a hard day and something didn't work out the way,
you have a stack off a particular kind of ice cream
and you go for it straight away, right.
That's you leaning into your default habit.
Now, of course, this default habit
of you going back to your ice cream box is not helpful
because you end up eating ice cream
which is of course sugar.
You're eating sugar, your health gets hurt,
you know the drill.
And that is why you don't want to fall back
to your default habits.
When you work with your clients
and you try to give them new habits,
they have to be small incremental habits.
Habits that they can naturally flow
into and be mindful of when they're about to fall
into a really bad one.
If your clients tend to fall back
to that big box of ice cream
as soon as they feel or experience a bad day,
maybe the first step would be to say,
"Hey, what if we replaced the big box of ice cream
with small boxes of ice cream
and then you choose one box
and then maybe we change the ice cream
to a healthier ice cream
and then maybe and then we turn it to a fruit?"
And soon enough, you'll find that your client's behavior
moved from a big box of ice cream to a small fruit.
And that small behavioral change, that small habit change
of leaning into their default mode shifts.
And that switches them from being fixed mindset oriented
and saying, "I need the box of ice cream"
to something that is better for them.
And that continues as a progress
because those small incremental changes
that you will bring into their lives will shift their energy
and bring them into growth mindset.
Which brings me to the last element
that is important for you to note as a mindset coach.
It is one of the most difficult things to do
but at the same point in time,
without this, no true mindset shift rarely happens.
People believe that they can work with a mindset coach
and their mindset will shift.
And that yes happens, but it doesn't shift you permanently.
It doesn't shift you for a long period of time.
You see, whatever is your current identity,
whatever is your current understanding of yourself is,
is something that is built over decades.
It took years and years of you thinking of a circumstance
in a particular way,
you talking to yourself in a particular way,
you behaving in a particular way,
you were having that pattern in a particular way.
While change is fast, it is not that fast.
That 30 years, 40 years of programming
can be switched around in four days.
It takes time, effort, and energy.
It takes several days, sometimes several months,
sometimes even several years
for you to have a complete identity shift.
For you to be able to accept an identity
that finally feels most congruent to you as a human being.
We are evolving human beings, we are always growing.
Our brains are always growing,
our body cells are always growing,
the body cells are dying all the time
and recreating themselves all the time
which means we can change all the time.
We are changing by default, by biology all the time.
What tends to happen even when our biology
and our brains are changing biologically,
is that it there's a lot of a story
that gets transferred over every time
a new cell generated, right.
So, if our brain is changing all the time
and expanding all the time, here's what's happening.
Let's say a part of brain is kind of getting decomposed,
the new part is developing on the top of it,
is just passing the story back
into the new part of your brain,
new connections of your brain.
So, what you're really looking for is while that transition
is happening in your brain,
how can we keep rewiring our neurons in a way
that builds new behaviors and new patterns,
new habits in our lives
so we can continue to become the more evolved version
of ourselves, more congruent,
more authentic version of ourselves,
the more true nature of ourselves.
And because of that, you need to follow through.
You need to have consistency in mindset coaching,
you need to follow
through till the time you're fully satisfied.
You've seen your behavior change not over four or five days,
but over 60 days or 90 days or a hundred days.
Recent study finds
that if you wanna really change the behavior,
it takes anywhere between seven days to 63 days I believe.
To be able to completely transform a behavior,
to have a new mindset altogether.
So, invest that energy with your client,
let your client know that while they may think
they have changed in the first four hours
of your work with them,
real change is about consistency,
is about knowing that six years later
you wouldn't have had that new behavior.
So, take the time to build consistency
into your mindset coaching.
It's not a one-time activity.
It's a consistent activity
that you need to do with your clients
so they can create the results
that they want to create in their lives.
So, we talked about three key things in this video.
Firstly, we talked about how mindset is created.
Then we talk about how to change your mindset
and lastly, we talked about what keeps a new mindset, right.
Now that you know all the three steps,
what is it that you feel is the most challenging for you?
Let me know in the comment section below so I can see
what is it that is really stopping you
and create future videos that might help you
in creating those outcomes
or creating that change in your own life.
One of the great ways to stay in growth mindset
is to study material from other teachers
and trainers and educators in your life.
We do that at evercoach.com.
I invite you to go check us out
and see if we have something for you that can help you
be in more growth mindset.
Now that you know how to be a mindset coach,
now that you know how to be a successful mind coach,
I would love for you to change your mindset
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Thank you so much for watching.
This is Ajit Nawalkha,
and you're watching this, I never thought.