- Hello, lovely students,
and welcome back to, English with Lucy.
Today's lesson is all about
how to master the art of English conversation.
It can feel extremely awkward to start conversations
in social situations where you don't know anyone,
and it can feel even worse when it's not your mother tongue
or your first language.
To help you out,
I'm going to give you some
of the best conversation starters that I use
so you can feel confident
and talk to anyone in any situation.
Important, if you really want to take the subject seriously,
don't miss out on the free PDF
that I've created for today.
It covers all of the conversation starters and explanations,
plus some other tips that I think you'll find really useful.
If you'd like to download that,
just click on the link in the description box.
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So let's start with our first topic.
Keep it simple!
If you are someone
who typically feels uncomfortable making small talk,
feel free to keep things simple.
You don't need to come up with any out-of-the-box questions.
Just be yourself.
A great way to kick off any conversation
is with a sincere greeting and introduction,
for example, "Hi, I'm Lucy.
It's a pleasure to meet you."
It's simple but effective,
and it's great for social events
where you don't know many people.
At work you could say, "Hello, I'm Lucy.
I just started in the marketing department.
I just wanted to stop by and introduce myself."
This is great for when you've started a new position
and don't know many of your colleagues yet.
It shows that you have a genuine interest
in meeting the people you might be working with.
There are many simple questions you could ask
to get a conversation going
after you've introduced yourself like,
"What do you do for work?
Have you read any good books lately?
What have you been up to today?
What's the last show you binged,
you consumed quickly all at once?
Do you have any travel plans coming up?"
Now, obviously it's important to be aware of the situation.
Don't just randomly throw out these questions.
Read the room and make sure you're listening
to what other people are saying
so that you can ask appropriate questions at the right time.
Next point, if you're ready to branch out
for some of the more simple conversation starters,
one of the best things that you can do
to instantly strike up conversation
is to give a genuine compliment.
Compliments help make a person feel appreciated and seen,
and they are great for instantly making a good impression
and building rapport.
And it doesn't need to be
some over-the-top compliment
or one that has the potential
to make the other person feel awkward.
Just give a genuine compliment,
and flash a bright, cheerful smile.
Not a crazy one.
The beauty of this technique is
that it works in basically any scenario,
whether you're at a party or in a job interview.
At a party or another social gathering,
you could say something like,
"I love how you've decorated your house.
It feels so cosy."
Or, "I'm obsessed with your earrings."
Or, "Wow, your shoes are gorgeous!
Where'd you get them?"
Asking a question at the end
helps to keep the conversation flowing.
At the office,
you could say something along the lines of,
"Your work always shows so much attention to detail.
How do you do it?"
Or, "That was a really great question
you brought up in the meeting today."
If you're at a conference or a networking event,
you could say, "You have an excellent way with words,
it was a pleasure to hear you speak."
Practise giving heartfelt compliments,
and see how many new friends you instantly make.
Next point, when in doubt, talk about food.
This one might seem odd,
but if you have doubts
about what to say in a social setting,
just talk about food or drinks.
Think about it, everyone has to eat or drink,
and so it's something common that we all share.
And the beauty of this topic
is that it works in nearly all situations.
At a party, "Where did you get that drink?
It looks amazing."
Or, "You have to try the spinach dip.
It's delicious, definitely my favourite so far."
Or, "Have you tried any of the appetisers?
Any recommendations?"
I tend to hold pretty strong opinions about food,
so if someone were to ask me some of these,
we would talk all night.
Now, let's say you're in a more professional setting.
You could ask something like,
"Do you have a go-to spot to grab a coffee round here?"
Or, "Hi, I'm Lucy.
Today's my first day,
and I was wondering if you have any recommendations
of where to get a quick bite to eat."
Just then I introduced myself
and brought up food, the perfect conversation starter.
Now, you could even use this food idea on a first date.
If there's a bit of a dull moment during the conversation,
you could say something like,
"So, I'm a bit of a foodie, how about you?
Do you have a favourite type of cuisine
or any must-try restaurants in town?"
I know, I asked quite a few questions,
but one of them is sure
to get the conversation flowing again.
I also shared a little piece
of personal information about myself there,
which brings us to our next topic.
Make it personal!
If you want to connect with people,
you need to speak from a place of authenticity.
And you can do this
by sharing something interesting about yourself,
like telling a little anecdote or even cracking a few jokes,
maybe a few self-deprecating ones,
a Brit's favourite weapon.
If you're interested in British humour,
I made a video all about it and I've linked it down below.
"Yikes, I can't believe
how underdressed I am for this event!"
A comment like this can break the ice,
and show you're quite humble.
But you don't necessarily have to go down that route.
Anecdotes are also great,
and these are personal stories or experiences
that can add depth and relatability to a conversation
and bonus points if they're funny.
Here are some examples
of some types of anecdotes you could share.
"Speaking of hiking,
I went hiking near here last weekend,
and the views were incredible.
Where do you usually go?"
Or, "You mentioned
you tried making Gordon Ramsey's scrambled eggs.
Me too, and they came out terribly,
but I'm eager to try them again.
Do you have any tips?"
Notice that I'm providing some personal insight,
but I'm also asking questions
showing my conversation partner
that I'm actively listening to what they're saying.
You should also try to find common ground.
What shared interests do you have?
Do you work in the same field?
One of the easiest ways
to start a meaningful conversation,
is to talk about things you have in common,
like in the office,
"I heard you've just been to Costa Rica.
I actually lived there for five years.
How was it?"
Or on a plane, if they want to talk,
"I see you're reading Hemingway.
He's my favourite author.
Have you read any of his other books?"
Or a work event,
"What programmes do you recommend
for continuing education in software engineering?"
These questions are quite specific,
and require strong observational skills,
but with practise,
you'll be having conversations everywhere.
And that brings us to our next topic.
Asking questions!
If you haven't been able to tell by now,
asking questions is quite important.
By asking questions,
you show the speaker that you're genuinely interested
in what they're saying.
It's important to ask open questions
that can't be answered with a yes or a no,
so that you can then ask follow-up questions.
This will ensure
that you have a natural, flowing conversation.
Here are some different questions for various scenarios.
For example, at work, "What are you working on right now?
Anything exciting?"
Or, "What are your plans for this weekend?
What's the best part of your job?
How has AI been impacting your job?"
Dating, "What helps you relax after a long day?
What do you do for fun?
What's your biggest pet peeve?
What's the craziest thing you've ever done?"
In networking or business conferences,
"Which presentations have you enjoyed so far?
Why did you sign up for this conference?
If you had to give a talk here,
what would your topic be?
What other workshops have you attended?
Any you recommend?"
All of these questions help you come off
as being interested in the person you're conversing with
and they have the potential
to spark some interesting conversations.
And this brings me to my last tip of the day.
Sit back and listen!
This doesn't require much talking at all.
One of the biggest misconceptions about conversing
is that you need to do all the talking,
and that's not entirely true.
In fact, if you go on, and on, and on,
you might end up seeming self-absorbed.
I've experienced lots of conversations like this
at networking events.
Starting a conversation with a stranger isn't always easy,
and I understand your worries about stumbling over words
or dealing with those cringe-worthy, awkward silences,
but here's a neat trick to ease the pressure.
Shift your focus to the other person.
After breaking the ice,
it's all about asking follow-up questions
throughout the conversation.
Trust me, this can lead to more engaging discussions
than if you spent the whole time talking about yourself.
Show genuine interest and curiosity in the other person,
make them feel interesting.
You can ask some of the questions
I previously shared with you,
but the key is to listen to the speaker.
So, these simple skills can work wonders,
and soon enough
you'll be making meaningful connections with people,
and the more you practise,
the better you'll get at it.
Give it a shot.
Put yourself in some uncomfortable situations,
and who knows,
you might make some great new friends along the way.
I've met some of my best friends
by pushing myself out of my comfort zone.
Right, that brings us to the end of today's lesson.
Don't forget to download the free PDF.
The link is in the description box.
We've got all of the tips plus
some extra information I think you'll find really useful.
If you want to take an English course with me,
we have our 12 week, B1, B2, and C1,
"Beautiful British English" programmes.
I'm extremely biassed,
but they are truly wonderful. (chuckles)
If you'd like to learn more,
visit englishwithlucy.com.
And I'll see you in my next lesson.
Mwah!
(upbeat music)
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