You’ve seen Thor, the film that tided fans over until The Avengers
Now experience the film that will tide fans over until The Avengers 2:
Thor: The Dark World.
Thor is back in another perfectly adequate Marvel movie that pleasantly killed a few
hours of your time,
with enough cool visuals, action, and humor to keep you from wondering:
why does the elf man want to shoot magic Kool-Aid into the sky holes?
Return for another post-Avengers movie full of references to the Avengers
“You were in New York!”
"That was for New York.”
but no actual Avengers.
Instead of Earth’s mightiest heroes, watch Thor team up once again with
Heimdall, the watchful guardian who can see everything
except for this spy...
and Thor’s girlfriend...
“I can’t see her.”
and this gigantic spaceship directly above him.
The Warriors Three, who are so replaceable they switched out one of the actors and you
totally didn’t notice.
And everyone’s favorite, Loki, the charismatic trickster who no one should trust by now.
“You still don't trust me brother?”
"Would you?"
No, idiot.
When he’s not battling another forgettable bad guy, watch as the mighty Thor mopes around
Asgard in a Snuggie
because he’s still hung up on a girl he spent one long weekend with and hasn't called
in 2 years.
"Where were you?!"
Natalie Portman returns as Jean Grey from the X-Men Phoenix saga
With the help of her wacky sidekick,
her other wacky sideckick,
and her other wacky sidekick’s wacky sidekick,
they’ll discover “the convergence”,
a piece of science mumbo-jumbo everyone keeps trying to explain.
"Once a cycle, all the worlds align."
"The alignment is only temporary. You must be in exactly the right place at the right
time."
"Physics is gonna go ballistic! Increases and decreases in gravity, spatial extrusions--"
Whatever. Can we just see Thor hit something with a hammer again?
Thank you!
Travel across the 9 realms, ranging from Earth
to Vanaheim,
to Sva... Svatalf... Sfartal...
to Asgard,
home of the most penetrable impenetrable city ever.
So ride along with the god of Thunder
"WE ARE NOT GODS!”
... so ride along with the Guy of Thunder, for another celebration of the male form in
all its beauty, featuring
aaaaabs,
tuuuush,
and pixelated baaaaallls.
Starring...
Gale's Brother
Natalie Portwoman
Four Loki
Goldeneye
The Nutty Professor
An Oscar
Ken Jennings
Stanley
and Mugatu.
Thor: The Dark World
"Now you’re thinking with Portals."