DION FLYNN: Everything is at stake in a wedding toast.
VICTORIA WELLMAN: What people worry about is that they're going to get up and make a
fool of themselves.
ANJA WINIKKA: There are a lot of do's and there's a lot of don'ts.
DION: Wedding toasts can go really, really bad.
[ MAN SINGING ]
British Girl: It's a lot to get right, and it's a lot to get wrong.
ANJA: But a great toast, that is special, and that's what your guests are not going
to forget.
[ MUSIC ]
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: There comes a time in everyone's life when they meet their one
true love.
That moment came for George 25 years ago, when he met me.
[ LAUGHING ]
[ MUSIC ]
DION: Originally, the idea of a toast was two guys, big dudes probably with chalices,
clanking their pewter goblets together in the hopes that a little bit of your liquid
would go into mine, and my liquid would go into yours, so that I could make sure that
you were trying to poison me.
And that's a toast.
ANJA: The wedding toast, it's a time honored tradition.
It's totally expected that a toast will be given at the wedding reception, and that it
be meaningful, and really encompass who the couple is.
[ CHEERS ]
DION: The wedding toast is an art form.
It's the ability to connect with a large group of people and to make it seem like I'm talking
right to you.
NATHAN PHILLIPS: You've been elected as a representative of these two people, and if
you nail it, they seem more intelligent, they seem better looking, they seem more popular.
DION: Sometimes we don't want to see people succeed when they give their toast.
"He didn't ask me to give a toast!
Who's this jerk that he did ask to give a toast?"
NATHAN: For the next forty years, people are going to look back at that speech and be like,
you know what, that guy is cool.
Or you're going to start off, and be like, you know what, that guy is kind of a loser.
ANJA: Be yourself, the couple choose you, they know exactly the type of person you are.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: I'm a builder, I like to measure things.
You can't measure the power in this room.
DION: Just share your heart, and let it flow.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: To a great night, to two great people.
WOMAN [TO WEDDING GUESTS]: Congratulations, I love you both.
DIFFERENT WOMAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: I love you both.
[ CHEERING ]
[ MUSIC ]
NATHAN: People say start with a joke, which conceptually is right.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: Growing up, we were polar opposites.
He was smart and driven, I was and still am incredibly good looking.
[ LAUGHING ]
NATHAN: But really what you want to do is start with something that is meaningful and
impactful.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: I hit the jackpot.
I picked up a son, and I picked up two grandsons.
[ CLAPPING ]
DION: Structure it in threes: the beginning, the middle, and the end.
Tell something about the past, tell something about the present, and give a hope for the
future.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: May there always be lots of delicious wine for you to drink
together.
[ LAUGHING ]
ANJA: Part of the perfect toast is telling a story.
A story that really connects the entire audience to the couple and is very telling of them.
Like, it's so him, it's so her.
NATHAN: Make a list of just simple adjectives that you want people to know about your friend.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: Scotty is a wonderful friend.
DIFFERENT MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS]: I love his loyalty.
DIFFERENT MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: I'm amazed by Matt's courage.
NATHAN: Focus on what is a story that best exemplifies that word.
MAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS]: He'll stand up to anyone, regardless of their size if they try
to push past him at a rock concert.
[ LAUGHING ]
DION: Did you ever see a guy with a gun shot wound trying to wave to a crowd?
That's what people who are receiving a bad toast have to do.
ANJA: Roasting the couple during a toast is a don't.
You want to stay to interesting stories that don't involve risque behavior.
WOMAN [ TO WEDDING GUESTS ]: To the stylish nurse who enjoys an occasional lap dance from
an Asian Transvestite.
ANJA: This is a reception, this is like the classy part of the wedding weekend.
NATHAN: Usually with a lot of best men, it's the frat story, the drunk story.
One speech had the running theme that this guy liked to pee on his friends.
VICTORIA: He's like our friends know about it.
And I was like yeah but you're six people and the wedding is 200.
NATHAN: And one of those 200 people is like that guy's grandmother.
[ MUSIC ]
DION: Great Shakespeare said best, " brevity is the soul of wit."
ANJA: I say keep speeches, wedding toasts, 3-4 minutes max.
VICTORIA: Rather you have them be like, oh I wish that was longer, than oh my god when
will he stop.
[ MUSIC ]
ANJA: Having a great toast at the reception really does sort of tie it all up together.
NATHAN: People cry, and laugh at good speeches, in the same speech and that's because the
person's present and they're really feeling it.
ANJA: Having a great wedding toast, that's one of the key factors to giving definition
to this new life stage for this couple.
It's an important part of the wedding.
[ MUSIC ]
DION: Hey, speech coach Dion Flynn here.
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