Did you know that the well known 'fact' that body language accounts for 93% of communication
in human interactions has long ago been debunked? Did you know that in over 10 years of coaching
we regularly see clients who invest a lot of time fixing their body language get consistently
out-performed by clients who focus on things like Mind-Sets, Limiting Beliefs, And Building
self esteem instead?
Today I'm going to tell you why most of what you 'know' about body language is probably
wrong, and why the more you think about your body language, the worse it usually gets.
So let's attack the old but gold saying that '93% of communication is non-verbal'.
This suave looking mofo is Dr Albert Mehrabian.
Mehrabian looked at two studies done in 1967 titled 'Decoding of inconsistent Communications"
and "Inference of Attitudes from Nonverbal Communication In Two Channels". The first
involved people listening to an audio recording of a single word and discovered that the way
the word was said was more likely to convey a positive or negative emotion than the word
itself. For example I I could say the word 'Delightful' and sound happy... or I could
say 'Delightful' and sound sad.
The second study Involved a photograph of a person pulling an emotional face, and an
audio recording of that person speaking - The conclusion was that people were more influenced
by the emotion of the photo than the tone of voice.
Based solely on these two highly simplistic examples which in no way represent real life
scenarios, Mehrabian came up with the idea that when it comes to reading someone's emotions,
what you say is worth 7%, how you say it is worth 38% and your body language while saying
it is worth 55%.
Now, notice that I said 'reading emotions' and not 'When understanding everything a person
is saying". Because Mehrabian was long frustrated by people saying that he claimed 93% of all
communication between people was non-verbal,. This is a lie which even HE never believed.
More than that, we now generally accept these figures to be wildly innacurate - Modern research
isn't yet able to agree on more updated figures because guess what? Human interactions are
frigging complex!
But you should learn learn to control all aspects of your body language and voice tone
so that all women will think you're super-confident right?
WRONG
Have you ever tried to force your body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions into
submission? Like... When you're on a stage in front of a crowd, or your mum caught you
lying, or say... when you're talking to a really hot girl? How much effort did it take?
How much of your mental space was taken up trying to get your body language perfect?
And even after all that effort, how well did you pull it off?
Our bodies are designed to express emotion, and to do so in a highly complex variety of
ways. It's utterly exhausting to restrain your body for long periods of time, to the
point of being almost impossible.
What's more, if all your energy in a social interaction is focused on controlling your
body language, your posture, your facial expressions, and your tone of voice - How much cognitive
ability do you think you have left to actually have an awesome conversation? How much is
left to focus on playful banter or building rapport?
If 'basically NONE' was your answer, than you are 100% correct!
Now, there are some basics that every guy should get right with his body when talking
to women. He should talk loudly enough to be clearly heard, he should avoid fidgeting,
he should stand an appropriate distance from the the girl, and should definitely gesticulate
a lot while talking.
But, from that point on, do you know what the ONLY answer to super confident ultra powerful
body language is? Deal with the emotional crap holding you back so you feel super confident
and ultra powerful!
Now for those of you who think that the road to becoming super-confident is way too long
then I have good news... Most women don't require men to be super-confident! Most women
just want men who are confident enough to say hello and be genuine.
THATS what women want!
But it's harder than it sounds to walk up to a the woman of your dreams, and just be
casual and genuine. Most guys get stuck in the trap of trying so damn hard to look cool
and confident that they end up repulsing women because they seem so incredibly fake.
Some of my most successful guys can approach women and still look nervous, but they're
also being sincere while engaging in lots of banter with her, building deep rapport,
sexually escalating and getting awesome results.
So yeah guys, get your basic body language stuff handled, but don't sweat the rest. Strop
trying to present a fake set of emotions to women, let go of that urge to be fake, and
instead just focus on the stuff that matters - The actual conversation.
Learn to make women laugh, and build really deep rapport with them - Even if you look
a little insecure and unconfident at the same time.
Which do you think is more important to attracting women? Banter or Rapport? Let me know in the
comment below.
If you'd like a step by step guide to mastering the basics of body language as well as the
art of banter, rapport, and sexual escalation, then you can download a free copy of my award
winning audio book 'Sincere Seduction' right now by clicking the link on the screen, or
below in the video description.
If you enjoyed this video, please give it a thumbs up and subscribe to my channel.
I'm Damien Diecke with the School of Attraction, and I look forward to seeing you in my next
video.