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Now, onto the video.
Did you know even positivity could be toxic?
When we feel low or sad,
we need to feel like we can count on our loved ones
for support, guidance, and love
to help pick us back up.
However, sometimes words of support
can aggravate negative feelings and emotions.
Toxic positivity encourages you to ignore emotions,
devalue problems and impose unreasonable optimism.
Some phrases may seem positive but in fact,
they only provoke negative emotions.
Before we begin, please note
that this is intended for educational purposes only
and does not suggest that if you have used or have heard
any of these phrases, that they were necessarily toxic.
It depends on the situation too.
So how do you know that the things would you say
or that you hear might be toxic?
Here are some phrases that seem harmless, but may be toxic.
Number one, you might not wanna listen to me
but I'm going to say this anyway.
Have you ever experienced a situation
where you either gave advice that others didn't ask for?
Or you heard advice
from others that you didn't wanna hear?
People often say this without really thinking
through how this might be perceived by the other person.
They assume that you won't want to listen to them
but then proceed to tell you anyway
without giving you any choice.
This violates your boundaries
and then blames your negative reaction on you
in order to show that they're right.
Number two, everything happens for a reason.
Surely most of you must certainly resonate with this one.
The person saying this is trying to comfort you
and most likely has no bad intent behind those words.
However, you might not take too kindly
to this being said to you given the circumstance.
For some people, this phrase can be followed
with attempts to find someone to blame
or to tell stories about karma.
And what goes around comes around.
You may still be processing the event that happened
and listening to such advice may cause you to misunderstand.
Number three, the things that don't kill you
make you stronger.
A pet phrase of all your favorite films and music, right?
According to a study, about 70% of people
experience severe psychological trauma in their lifetime.
It will usually be in moments when you feel powerless
that people use powerful motivational quotes
such as these to help raise your spirits.
However, they may have the opposite effect.
Instead of giving off the intended impression
of invincibility, it fills one with shame
over how they aren't living up to these expectations.
After hearing these words,
a person may experience even greater anxiety
and doubts about their own abilities.
Number four, I'd love help you out but.
Have you had enough of this phrase for a lifetime?
For some people, it becomes part
of their everyday language.
This person appears to always find an excuse
for not helping you.
This can have a toxic effect as you feel
that you cannot fully rely on this person for support.
Number five, time is a healer.
Those having experienced a significant life event
will probably have heard this.
Although this phrase does ring true
in the grand scheme of things, it can irritate those
who have experienced intense grief or a traumatic event.
Sometimes people will overcome their trauma with time
but for others, the trauma may linger
for the rest of their lives.
Some people may have to make a conscious effort
and work harder on their inner healing.
Each situation is unique.
No one can say for sure
how long your feeling of grief will last.
So for some, time may not always be a healer.
Number six, it's not the worst thing in the world.
How often have we heard this
from other people or even said it to somebody else?
This phrase is often used to encourage perspective taking.
However, comparing your situation to others
won't make you any happier and it doesn't relieve your pain.
Some people unintentionally tend to want
to simplify your problems by saying this
but actually it makes you feel guilty
about your own negative emotions and experiences.
Such phrases make your problems seem insignificant.
And driven by guilt, you aim to suppress them
rather than resolve them.
As a result, they never go away
rather become deeply rooted even more.
Number seven, that's nothing.
Don't worry about it.
If you never had to hear these words again
would it be too soon?
But you still keep hearing its dreaded echos.
It's nothing, don't worry about it.
Perhaps after an accident or when you've made a mistake
but not worrying is easier said than done.
This phrase may devalue your feelings and everything
which you feel is important to you.
Often, this attempt comes across as heartless,
making your experience and feelings seem neglected.
In other words, your feelings are not important,
valued or interesting.
Don't worry about it.
Number eight, don't say I didn't tell you so.
Are any of you guilty for this one?
Especially those who know their estimable advice
was disregarded or not listened to.
They never miss an opportunity to attract attention
to the mistakes of others.
Admittedly, it does come across as smug,
which does not help the person hearing it.
You already feel bad for what you have or have not done.
And this phrase only makes you feel worse.
It may even cause resentment and aggression.
Number nine, I've been there too.
This is how some people try to relate to you
and what you're going through.
But sometimes it actually
is not the most helpful thing to say,
especially if somebody is grieving.
That person doesn't know how you feel.
As we all experience things differently,
everyone has their own unique story and situation.
Someone else's experience doesn't help you go
through hard times and by suggesting so,
it feels like they're being fake with you
or trying to manipulate you into letting your feelings go.
Number 10, well, if I were you.
Ever felt the urge to respond by saying, well, you're not,
so mind your own business.
Something that is done cannot be undone.
If that person hasn't been in your shoes,
then they can't know exactly how they would have acted.
So no point in trying to be a soothsayer, right?
Often this comment can sound like a self-affirmation
at the expense of another.
Sometimes people may be trying to empathize or sympathize
but it ends up sounding like they would have reacted
on a better way than you.
Number 11, you're strong so you'll deal with it.
You must've heard this countless times, right?
Although this intends to come from a place of empowerment,
usually you hear this when you don't feel strong at all.
It's perfectly normal to not feel strong at times.
We are human after all
and sometimes we may need a reminder of that
rather than feeling a false sense of power.
This phrase is supposed to motivate you
and give you strength.
But according to psychologists,
it only serves to remind a person of their helplessness.
And number 12, I only want the best for you.
This first arguably does not mean what it says on the tin
and the person saying it may genuinely care
for you and have the best interest at heart.
However, sometimes this phrase is usually followed
by the unwelcomed invasion into your personal space.
And with a piece of advice you never asked for.
In the end, it's more about being mindful
of how these could be interpreted as toxic
depending on the situation.
If you have any concerns
that you're experiencing or involved in toxic positivity,
please be sure to seek help.
It's important to treat these as some examples
of how well-worn phrases may be used in an undesirable way.
We hope we're able to give you insight
into how them everyday phrases can have an undesired effect.
Do any of these describe your experience
or did any of these points describe you?
Leave a comment down below
about your encounters with them if you'd like.
Please feel free to share any thoughts you have as well.
If you found this video helpful
be sure to hit the like button
and share it with those out there who may be using
or being subjected to these phrases.
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And thanks for watching.