I'm in the middle of trying to
deal with this whole situation
with my son watching these videos and not going to work,
and while I'm doing this,
I get the most random phone call
I have ever gotten.
My publicist calls me up and she's like,
"Gabe!
Snoop Dogg is looking for you."
"Excuse me?" "Snoop Dogg, you know--"
"I know who Snoop Dogg is!
What do you mean, he's looking for me?"
"Well, he's looking--"
"Is he looking for me or is he looking for me?"
"He's a fan and he wants to interview you."
"Oh, cool! Sounds good. What is it?"
"I think it's some type of podcast."
"I'm in. Can I bring Frankie?"
"Absolutely."
"Cool." So I hang up the phone.
I'm excited. I wanna tell my son.
I'm like, "Frankie!
I'm walking towards your room."
I'll be at your door in three, two,
one.
Hey! All right, you're dressed. Good. Come on, let's go."
"Where are we going?" "Watch."
We get in the car.
And now we're off on this adventure
to go do an interview with Snoop Dogg.
You guys, let me tell you something.
We get to the neighborhood
and we're lost.
The GPS says we're there, but we're lost.
We're looking for a house,
and there's no house, just a big building.
And so I'm like, "This doesn't look--
A podcast? Really?"
So I pull up to the security gate.
Tap the button on the wall.
"Security desk. Can I help you?"
"Hey, Security Desk. My name is Gabriel Iglesias.
Uh, I think I'm here to do an interview with Snoop Dogg."
"Okay, one moment."
"Oh, okay, this is it. Good, good.
I'm so excited. Snoop Dogg! It's gonna be cool, right?"
"Sir?" "Yes?"
"Yes, hi, there is no Gilbert Ignazios on file."
"What?"
"Could it be another name?"
"Another name? I don't know. Fluffy, maybe?"
And the gate starts to open.
I'm like, "Oh, my God,
I'm officially in the rappers' world
because my real name doesn't mean shit!"
So we drive in.
And we're passing all of these reserved parking spaces.
Reserved, reserved, reserved, reserved.
And we get to my space,
which is basically an orange cone
that has "Fluffy" handwritten on it.
And a bunch of other names crossed off.
So Frankie moves the cone. I park the car.
We walk into the building.
My publicist is waiting for me, right?
She's like, "Gabe!
You made it. Frankie, how are you?
Listen.
I just finished talking to Snoop.
Oh, wow.
He is everything you think he is and just a little bit more.
He is so sweet.
I cannot believe he was charged with double murder.
He told me to just walk you guys into the studio
and he'll be right back.
He said he had to go outside
and get in the right 'headspace'
or something, I just..."
"Okay, cool."
So she walks us into Snoop's studio.
I'm thinking I'm there for a podcast,
come to find out it's for a TV show.
Snoop has a TV show where he interviews celebrities.
Everyone in the room is waiting for Snoop to return.
You can hear the small talk. You know.
All of a sudden, everyone stands up
and I'm lookin' around like, "What's goin' on?"
And I look at the door to see if Snoop's walkin' in,
and I don't see him.
And I could see my son. "Dad!"
I don't realize it, but Snoop is entering the room
through a different door.
I don't realize it till, like, the last second.
I'm like, "What do you-- Aaah!"
So I jump up, I push in my chair.
I'm so nervous,
I don't know how to address him.
So I'm like...
I felt stupid. "Hi."
Snoop walks over to me and he's so cool, you guys.
He's so cool.
He walks over to me and he grabs my hand.
He's really strong.
He pulls me in and he says,
"Yo, what it do, baby boo, how you feel?"
"Thank you for having me."
"Yeah."
"Can I sit down?" "Fo' sho'."
I sit down, I look over, I see my son.
My son's like...
The difference between Snoop's show
versus any other talk show I've ever done
is that usually there's a person,
like a producer or a director who comes to you
and gives you information,
like how the show begins,
topics you're gonna cover,
how you go to commercial,
how you come back from commercial...
I've spoken to no one.
Snoop just starts talking
and at some point, they hit record.
I'm waiting for "Action!" or a buzzer.
Somethin'!
Snoop just starts talkin' to me.
"Yo, what up, big Fluff?"
"Big Fluff? Oh, that's-- Hey!"
"Yo, you like music?"
"Snoop, I love music.
I love your music."
"Yeah, that's what's up."
He opens up a laptop computer
and then he hits play.
And the next thing I know, we are listening
to hardcore Mexican banda music.
I mean hardcore.
And you can hear gunshots in the song.
And then a cow.
And the whole time Snoop is like,
"I love it when he go moo."
What?
I feel like he's messing with me
because I'm Mexican, right?
So I called him out.
I said, "Snoop.
Do you understand what you're listening to?"
And he said this,
and it scared me.
He said, "Gangsta recognize gangsta."
Oooh!
The reason why it scared me was
because he was telling the truth.
We were listening
to actual Mexican cartel songs that don't play on the radio.
And the fact that he knew that,
the fact that his level of street knowledge
in another language was that on point,
I said, "I gotta shut the hell up."
Don't speak unless spoken to. That's the code.
Next thing I know,
Snoop reaches under the desk
and he pulls out the biggest blunt I have ever seen.
Oh, this sucker was huge.
As soon as he pulled out that freaking blunt,
I got excited because I wanted to grab my cell phone.
Okay?
I wanted to grab my cell phone so that I could take a selfie
of Snoop in the background being Snoop.
So while I'm fumbling trying to get my phone,
Snoop starts talkin' to me again.
"Yo, Big Fluff?"
"Ah! Yeah, what?"
"Hit that while I hit this."
The second I went like that,
all of the cameras in the room - red light.
Red light. Red light.
My publicist is like,
"Noooo!"
My son is like,
"Yeeeeah!"
And now I'm being faced, bro,
I'm being faced with a serious situation,
because, you know,
I've talked about friends participating
and doing stuff like this,
but I've never openly talked about myself...
you know...
And now I realize that from this moment forward,
people are gonna know what happened here with Snoop.
So I started trying to find ways to justify it to myself.
"You know...
If you're gonna do something like this on camera...
you want it to be with Snoop.
You want it to be with Snoop,
Cheech and Chong..."
"...or Willie Nelson."
Next thing I know, the manager hands me a lighter.
I light it and I take a big hit.
So listen, I'm doing my best to hold in all this smoke,
because I don't wanna look like a punk
in front of Snoop Dogg.
I'm trying, I'm fighting, bro. It's hard, you know.
The whole time, Snoop is like, "Hell, yeah.
That's what I'm sayin'.
Fluffy goin' puffy today."
I do not remember the rest of the interview.
What I remember is my buddy Anthony
telling Snoop Dogg and I to stand up for a picture.
"Stand up, get up for a picture."
And so Snoop and I both stand up to take this picture.
I put my arm around him.
I have to put my arm around him
because he's much taller than me, okay?
Snoop has me by at least
five inches.
Shut up!
Ah!