CAMPBELLíS RECENTLY
RELEASED A NEW AD ONLINE THAT FEATURES A
GAY COUPLE TALKING TO THEIR KIDS ABOUT STAR WARS.
TAKE A LOOK.
COOPER, I AM YOUR FATHER.
NO, NO, NO, I AM YOUR FATHER.
THAT'S GOT TO BE THE WORST VADER EVER.
CAMPBELLíS STAR WARS SOUP.
MADE FOR REAL, REAL LIFE.
CAMPBELLíS IS DOING THIS AD CAMPAIGN WHERE THEY HAVE A REAL
FAMILIES DOING THE ADS.
THEY WANTED TO REPRESENT
MODERN LIFE IN AMERICA, AND THEY DID SO BY HAVING THIS SAME-SEX COUPLE
FEEDING THEIR CHILD SOUP.
THIS SHOULDNíT
BE OBJECTIONABLE, BUT THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT HAD A PROBLEM
WITH IT.
ONE WOMAN, JESS HICKS, TOOK TO FACEBOOK AND SAID THE
FOLLOWING, "I'M SO SICK OF THIS
HOMOSEXUAL AGENDA, YOU SELL SOUP, NOT BUTT SEX!
PLEASE TAKE YOUR AD
DOWN OR YOU WILL NOT HAVE A COMPANY ANYMORE!"
THAT IS WHAT
JESS HICKS BELIEVES.
SHE HAS A LOT OF RESPECT FOR HER OWN POWER TO TAKE DOWN
A CORPORATION, DOESN'T SHE?
I THINK SHE NEEDS TO BE PSYCHOLOGICALLY EVALUATED.
IF YOU WATCH THAT AD WITH THE ADORABLE CHILD, AND YOU
IMMEDIATELY THOUGHT OF ANAL SEX, THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG
WITH YOU.
ITíS IN THE BACKGROUND, YOU HAD TO REALLY LOOK.
SHE CALLED IT BUT SEX.
IT'S SO FUNNY, SHE'S WORKING HERSELF UP, I'M THE PERSON
WHO KNOWS WHAT'S GOING ON, I'M GONNA STICK IT TO THEM, BUTT SEX.
YOU UNDERMINED THE SIGNIFICANCE OF YOUR CLAIM.
SHE WAS MET WITH AN ONLINE TROLL WHO CREATED A
FACEBOOK PAGE THAT IS NOT IN ANY WAY ASSOCIATED WITH CAMPBELLíS,
BUT KIND OF SEEMS LIKE IT WAS, CALLED ëCAMPBELLíS FOR HELP.í
IT SEEMED LIKE A CUSTOMER SERVICE PAGE.
THIS ONLINE TROLL RESPONDS TO JEFF HICKS AND SAYS, "IT
SEEMS YOU HAVE SOMEHOW MISTOOK THE TWO MEN FEEDING THEIR
CHILD SOUP AS A PORNOGRAPHIC FILM DEPICTING ANAL STIMULATION?
MY WORD, JESSICA, THAT IS QUITE A LEAP."
JESSICA DIDN'T TAKE TOO KINDLY FOR THAT.
SHE RESPONDED BY SAYING, "IT MIGHT AS WELL, THE POOR KID
MUST HAVE A TERRIBLE LIFE.
IMAGINE GOING TO SCHOOL AND HAVING TO TELL EVERYONE YOU
HAVE TWO DADS."
FIRST OF ALL, THE SHAME OF WHATEVER IS GOING ON IN YOUR
FAMILY IS NOT THE SAME AS BEING SURROUNDED BY ANAL SEX AS YOU
ARE GOING UP.
THAT WOULD BE WORSE, LET ME TELL YOU.
ALSO, IT
MUST BE SO BAD FOR THIS KID THAT HE HAS TO GO THERE AND SAY THAT
HE HAS TWO DADS.
MEANING, THAT IF HE SAYS THAT HE MIGHT BE MADE
FUN OF OR STIGMATIZED IN SOME WAY, BY PEOPLE LIKE ME, THE
PERSON POSTING THIS.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON WHO WAS GOING TO
ATTACK HIM BASED ON THAT.
MAYBE IF YOU CHILL OUT, HE WOULDN'T HAVE A BAD LIFE WHEN HE
GOES AND SAYS HE HAS TWO DADS.
IT GETS BETTER.
THE CAMPBELLíS FOR HELP TROLL THEN RESPONDED
SAYING THEY WOULD BE MORE EMBARRASSED GOING TO SCHOOL WITH ANYONE
KNOWING THEY ARE ASSOCIATED WITH
YOU.
SHE THEN SAID THAT HER CHILD IS LOOKED AFTER BY HIS
MOTHER AND FATHER, THE ONLY WAY IT SHOULD BE.
FINALLY, THE TROLL
CLOSES THIS WONDERFUL CONVERSATION WITH, "JESS, PLEASE
SEND OUR CONDOLENCES TO YOUR CHILD."
SOMETIMES TROLLS CAN BE GOOD.
SOME PEOPLE BUY PORN.
THEY SUBSCRIBE TO PORNOGRAPHIC
WEBSITES, BUT FOR ME, WHY WOULD YOU HAVE TO DO THAT?
I CAN JUST
GO ONLINE AND WATCH CAMPBELL'S
COMMERCIALS OF STRAIGHT COUPLES SHOWING OFF.
WHEN THEY FEED A
KID, ALL I THINK HIS PENIS AND VAGINA SEX.
NOBODY BUT A HOMOPHOBE SEES
THESE TWO PEOPLE AND THINKS, I WONDER
WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE WHEN THAT
GUY'S PENIS GOES INTO THAT GUY'S BUTTHOLE.
WE DON'T THINK ABOUT THAT, YOU THINK ABOUT THAT.
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH YOU.
THERE IS THIS THING CALLED ANAL SEX BETWEEN STRAIGHT
COUPLES TOO.
I DON'T KNOW IF
EVERY CAMPBELL'S SOUP, CHEERIOS, GENERAL MILLS WHATEVER, WHEN
THEY ARE SELLING FOOD, IF
THERE IS A WOMAN ON, IF SHE HAS EVER IN HER LIFE HAD ANAL SEX.
OR IF A GUY HAS PARTICIPATED IN ANAL SEX, HAS THAT EVER
HAPPENED?
DO THEY VET THESE
ACTORS BEFORE THEY CAME ON?
HAVE THEY EVER HAD ORAL SEX?
HAVE THEY HAD A PENIS IN THEIR MOUTH?
WHEN I THINK OF CAMPBELL'S SOUP, I THINK OF STRAIGHT SEX.
NO ONE THINKS ABOUT THAT.
WHEN I THINK ABOUT THIS WOMAN AT HOME, THE CLOSED MINDEDNESS,
IT HURTS.
A LOT OF PEOPLE REALLY ENJOY ANAL SEX, AND MAYBE SHE IS
ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE, BUT SHE'S NEVER GONNA KNOW.
SHE'S SITTING NEXT TO HER HUSBAND AND HE'S WATCHING
HER TYPE AND HE'S LIKE, I NEVER GONNA GET IN THERE.
EVERY TIME I SEE A CARDBOARD BOX IN A COMMERCIAL, I THINK
THERE MIGHT BE A DICK IN THERE.
EVERY TIME I GO TO THE MOVIES AND SEE A POPCORN
BUCKET, I THINK SOMEONE HAS PROBABLY STUCK THEIR
PENIS INSIDE.
BUTTERY DICKS EVERYWHERE.