- Hey everybody!
It's finally Friday and I'm so excited
cos oh my god this week has been really long for me.
Sweet mother of god has it been long.
Do you ever just have those weeks where you're like
"oh my god it's only Tuesday?
"I thought it was Friday."
Holy shit.
And that's how this week felt to me.
I was like "oh my god, so long."
I had a lot of extra stuff going on,
a lot of stuff I had to do.
I'm still trying to change my name
and that's just stressful.
But anyway, enough about me.
Since it's Friday that means I'm on Facebook
and if you asked your questions using the hashtag KatiFAQ
I've answered 'em.
And I have three today and I have a journal topic
Sorry I'm getting comfortable here.
And I have a journal topic at the end
so stay tuned for that.
Okay, first question.
"Could you talk about healthy internet use?
"The more depressed I am,
"the more I withdrawal into the online world.
"I think it's something many of us here have experienced."
I think so.
"Tumblr, YouTube, Facebook.
"I'm online 12 plus hours a day
"trying to fill this part of me
"that I can't really describe.
"When I'm overwhelmed or anxious or sad or irritated,
"I find it an easy way to push the feelings down.
"Same goes for Netflix.
"I often watch my go-to show on TV
"while I'm sitting on the couch with my laptop."
I think a lot of us are guilty of this.
Especially because we have so many, so many,
so many ways to interact.
And it's all online.
I...
There are a couple things I wanna discuss here.
Number one, healthy internet use
is having it be a nice addition to your life.
Like you have real friends in real life
that you see and you contact
and family you keep in touch with.
And then you have your online world
where you chat with people
that you may also see in real life
or it's an easy way
to keep in touch with people long distance
or it's a nice way to get support when you're struggling.
And we have it as like a tool in our coping toolbox.
We're like, "I'm having a shitty day,
"I'm gonna check out online and get a little booster.
"a bit of inspiration or motivation or whatever."
And that's what I think healthy internet use is.
Because the second thing I wanna talk about
is we don't wanna use internet as our only coping skill
so that we're online twelve plus hours a day
cos that's our entire day we're online.
And I think what happens,
and I've had this happen with a lot of my clients,
where I feel like they're not interacting face to face,
person to person with anybody anymore.
They're just interacting with people online.
And it can be so helpful.
"Why did I create this community?"
You're probably asking yourself.
And it's because it can be such
an amazing coping skill and tool.
It's a tool in our toolbox.
It's not our whole toolbox.
But it has many of the tools that we need.
But we still need person to person interaction
and I know it's hard when we're sad
and we're depressed and we're irritated.
But those are the times when we need
to call upon our sturdy support group
like those friends that love you no matter what
or that family member that will listen
to you bitch while you're like
"ah it's so bad, everything's terrible today."
Cos we all have those days
and I understand it's hard
but I would try to limit your usage.
For those of you who aren't doing the 12 plus hours,
I would try to limit your usage to maybe three hours a day.
I think that that's fair.
I think you can get almost everything done
that you needed to get done online.
Unless you're like in school and you're researching.
I totally get that that's separate.
This is just social media interaction,
looking on Tumblr and scrolling and scrolling,
and Instagram, scrolling and scrolling.
I mean we all do that.
I call it falling down the rabbit hole.
I'm like "oh my god I've been doing this
"for like 20 minutes.
"I just totally lost 20 minutes of my life."
So just be aware.
Be cognizant if you're using it as a coping skill.
And then what do we do?
We just try to cut back.
Obviously, don't black and white it.
Don't all or nothing.
It's not no time to 12 hours.
It's maybe instead of 12 hours,
I only do 11 1/2.
And then next week, I work towards 11.
And then we just start cutting it back.
And then every time you recognize maybe I've
you think to yourself, "wow I've been on here a long time
"This computer's really hot on my lap, or whatever.
"Think maybe I'll get off right now.
"I'm just gonna shut it for 20 minutes.
"I'm gonna take a little break."`
I think that that would kinda help.
And it's good for us to interact with people
in real life.
It's really important.
So get out there and get back in touch with people
and yeah, I think you'll find it
to really help you feel better.
Okay?
And let me know what your thoughts are on this.
Cos it's something that I've been
thinking a lot about lately in general
cos of what I do.
And it's something that we need to be cognizant of, right?
We need to start the conversation,
we need to be aware of it.
And notice when we're using it too much.
Okay, question number two.
"Hi Kati, I'm stepping down from PHP today."
Hooray!
Congratulations.
"So I want to move out of my parent's house
"like I was planning
"but my treatment team says it's not a good idea
"cos it could cause me to relapse.
"I feel stupid being 22 and living with my parents.
"What's your view?"
Like many things, I see both sides.
And that's what I usually talk about in videos,
which sometimes makes people frustrated.
Cos I can see both sides.
Now, for this particular person, I know her story.
She's been following me for a long time.
We've been communicating, so I know
that your parents are really triggering
and it's bad for you to live there.
So I understand.
So a part of me says move, do it.
Go for it.
Your treatment team is telling you
that it will cause you to relapse
because there are ten major stressors
that we talk about in therapy
that we know are potential triggers to relapse
or to maybe first manic episodes or first depressive episode
and we know that they're really really stressful
and they're hard.
And one of those, is moving.
And so what they're thinking is,
"whoa whoa whoa, you just got out,
"don't rock the boat.
"Let's not get you so stressed that you relapse."
But I think we can kind of meet in the middle.
We can see both sides so I think we can
meet in the middle where maybe
you plan the move as best you can.
Moving is gonna be stressful anyway
but the more planning we do, the better we'll feel about it.
Maybe you get movers, maybe you have friends
come over and help you move,
work through the transition.
Maybe you tell your therapist
and have extra sessions during that time.
But either way, recognize that the urges may get worse
because you're stressed out.
And you may slip up.
But it's just a slip up.
And we get back up.
We pick ourselves back up.
And we keep fighting.
Because I think you can get through this.
And at the end of the day,
I think that it's important for you to move
rather than stay with your family
because I know that it's really difficult for you.
So I would say, prepare for the move and do it.
Okay?
Question number three.
"Why do we lie when we feel self-conscious?"
I thought this was a really good question
because we all do it.
We're all guilty.
We lie sometimes when we feel really self-conscious
about ourselves and we're unsure.
And I think the main reason that we do it
is because of the self-consciousness.
I often find myself,
if I really really wanna fit in in this group,
or I'm new to a group.
I go to different meetings all the time
to meet other YouTubers and to get to know people.
And I've done meetups and stuff.
And you want people to like you.
And you wanna fit in.
And you wanna get to know people.
And sometimes if you feel like you don't fit in
and you're like
"Wow, I have nothing in common with these people.
"What am I supposed to do?"
Often times, we lie.
We fudge some things.
Just so we can feel like we fit in.
And I think that that is completely normal.
Now is that healthy if we're doing it all the time?
No, but I think that's why we do it.
It's part of our kind of protective mechanism,
to help us feel like we fit in
because as human beings, all we want is to fit in somewhere.
To have some friends, or group of support,
or something where we feel like we belong.
We're always searching for that.
So often times if we don't and we start
to feel self-conscious then sometimes we lie
to compensate so that we do fit in.
Those are just my thoughts on it.
And you can let me know what you think below.
You might not agree at all.
And that's fine, but that's just my take on it.
Okay?
Now the journal topic for today
is something very simple
but it's something that I think we need to do periodically.
Because if you're like me, you had a bad week.
I had a bad week.
I was tired, it was long, nothing was going my way.
Everything seemed to bombard me at once.
And so it's just stressful, right?
And so what do we do?
So this weekend, I want you to write down 25 things.
I know, it's a lot.
25, but I think you can get this done.
That make you feel good.
For me, I'll just start this off
to get your brain, your juices flowing on this.
So, I love feet in cool grass.
Like soft grass.
When you walk outside barefoot in the grass,
I love that feeling.
So that's one thing that makes me happy.
I also love when people scratch my back.
That's another thing.
So you can see, it could be really simple.
Those are things that make me feel good.
I also like laying out in the sun.
I was raised in the Seattle area
and it's really dreary and cold there.
And I really like the sun.
So think of 25 things that make you feel good.
And let's try to do a couple of those this weekend.
And let me know what you did.
Okay?
I will see you all on Monday.
And on Tuesday I will be on Tumblr.
So ask your questions there.
Okay, bye.