[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hello. How are you guys doing?
Doing well. How are you?
I'm good. Thank you.
My name is Aaron.
Hi, Aaron, nice to meet you.
Nice to meet you as well.
I'm a family and individual life coach.
So why is it that you think that I'm here today?
To speak to us about communication
and allow their voices to be heard.
It was revealed to me through Tracey that they felt
they had to walk on eggshells.
And I want to understand that because I
too have felt that way.
So walk on eggshells around who?
David.
- Around David. - Right.
How do you guys feel about the wedding, though?
How do you guys feel about your mom getting married to David?
I'm happy for her.
Yeah, so am I. I mean, it's like--
I mean, we're not getting married to him,
so we're happy that-- if our mom's happy.
I'm not there 24/7, so it's like, you know,
I'll walk on eggshells while I'm there.
That's something that I can adjust to and be
fine with, because, you know--
No, that's not fine because that's
saying that emotionally you're not feeling
like you are in a safe place.
It's not that I don't feel safe.
It's that I don't feel like listening to,
oh, you didn't do this.
Oh, hey, you didn't do that.
Coming to think about it, whenever David and I actually
have a conversation, it's actually because I've
done something wrong.
Interesting.
I'm not saying that it's never happened.
But, like, recently, all that comes to mind
are me doing something wrong, and then he's talking to me
about this, that, and a third.
So I just wanted to clarify that the door
being taken off the hinges, it was my suggestion.
So what can I do to make you feel I take ownership to that?
You don't have to walk on eggshells.
That's the thing. It's not about you.
It's about-- it's about my relationship with David.
I mean--
But is there anything that I can do to--
I don't know.
Maybe talk to David.
Tell him to stop being so aggressive,
and maybe stop worrying about such--
I mean, such little things, because you know that Connor
and I, we look at the bigger picture, not
all the minuscule things that just set him off.
In what ways do you find that David is aggressive?
I mean, when he's trying to get his point across,
that's just kind of-- that's just kind of the type
of person that he is.
And I'm not--
I'm not cutting him down at the knees or anything.
I'm just saying, you know, that he can be very, very
hostile when it comes to how he approaches
telling us some stuff.
And that's just the type of person that he is.
And he'll say something and--
His communication.
Yeah, his communication is off to where it's like, you know,
he'll probably say something very, very aggressively,
but you know that it's supposed to be
received with love or without, you know,
all this other stuff, so--
Do you believe love is behind all of it-- the hostility,
the aggression, the eggshells?
He just wants us to succeed, and I've acknowledged that.
OK.
Well, that's a start, right?
And it doesn't mean at the same time
that we can't not acknowledge the words like "hostile,"
"aggressive," and that he needs to maybe continue working
on his communication, right?
No one thinks that David is all bad.
I don't think he's all bad.
I don't think any of us are all bad or all good.
We're just people.
We're learning.
We're growing.
We wanted to be better versions of ourselves,
and we want to enhance the relationships that matter most,
right?
Mm-hmm.
But you do understand there may be change,
and change doesn't always look the way you want it to look?
And change may not always be the result that you want.
I'm not asking for it to be exactly what I want to.
I'm just--
Is there something that you need more of from your mom?
If there was just a little bit more understanding.
OK.
So I got to reach out to you.
So when I got with the kids, I know
I was like this caveman mentality
of, like, this is what a man is supposed to do.
This is how it looks, and--
so I-- I got to apologize.
You weren't a bad parent.
You had your flaws, but it is certain things you
could have handled differently.
But that's for anybody.
No one's perfect.
If I can go back, that's the-- that nurturing aspect would be
in there, asking you what's going on or what's wrong
or how you feeling or--
Yeah.
--like, for real.
It's good to see you working on yourself and improving
yourself because that shows me that I can do the same thing.
You lifted a weight off of me, because I'm trying
to make sure that we are good.
I want you to know that I appreciate
everything you've done for us.
I'm not the best at showing emotion, but I'm working at it,
and I'm trying.
And now I see how you handled things differently.
And I'm just like, so he can change,
and he can show more emotion.
Maybe I can do the same thing.
That makes me proud.
Like, it's a proud parent moment, I guess.
Yeah.
[CLAPPING]