Well, it's December, which means two things.
One, it's almost the end of the year, and two,
I made it through No-Nut November!
And to think my second-grade teacher
said I'd never amount to anything.
Naturally, December is the perfect time
to look back at the things we're grateful for in 2023.
Yeah, that's right.
Me, grateful.
Everyone assumes I'm a miserable Grinch,
but I can be happy.
Here, just look at this smile.
Ow!
Why do people do this?
And if you think that 2023 sucked,
I have a little secret for you.
You suck.
You people have no idea how good we had it this year.
For starters, this was the first year since the pandemic
that things felt almost normal.
Remember the height of COVID?
We couldn't do shit.
You could die just from going to a party,
and not in the fun way--
from tainted cocaine.
But this year, everything was back-- schools,
concerts, sports, theater.
Live theater is so back.
This happened.
REPORTER: Republican Congresswoman Lauren Boebert
of Colorado-- she was recently kicked out of a performance
of Beetlejuice the musical, for vaping
and engaging in some R-rated groping with her date.
Yeah.
Lauren Boebert was caught jacking off
a guy during Beetlejuice the musical.
And you thought it was distracting when
people unwrapped hard candy.
If you're going to behave that way during a musical,
at least do it during Les Mis.
Talk about a play that needs a happy ending.
And think about all the scientific advancements
this year.
They didn't always make us healthier,
but they did make us hotter.
There's growing controversy nationwide.
It's over people using a diabetes drug for weight loss.
Ozempic is a drug that was developed to treat diabetes,
but in recent months, demand for the drug
has soared, because one of its side effects is weight loss.
I love Ozempic!
Or as your favorite celebrity calls it,
oh, I've just been drinking a lot of water.
Seriously, this drug is a godsend for anyone
who likes losing weight and stealing
medicine from diabetics.
Ha, ha, ha!
Just try and catch me you, one-footed bastard!
And let's not forget that 2023 also saw a major milestone
in pop culture.
REPORTER: Marvel Studios just clocked
its worst movie debut ever with the release of The Marvels.
With that, Disney CEO Bob Iger is
said to be shifting his attention,
turning his focus on making a few good films rather than
many that aren't high-quality.
Making good films!
Now, there's a concept.
So that's why this guy gets paid $50 million a year.
But I think Disney is a great company.
And I'm not just saying that as the star of Inside Out.
I'm saying it as the star of Inside Out 2.
And let me assure you, they didn't pay me shit.
At long last, people have finally stopped
watching Marvel movies.
And thank god.
My favorite part of any Marvel movie
is the four times I leave to pee.
Listen, if I'm spending that long in the theater,
I'd better be sitting next to Lauren Boebert.
[laughter]
But the best pop culture trend in 2023--
Kanye West.
This was the first year in ages that he
finally shut the [bleep] up.
No-- no tweets, no rants, no threats.
I'm just glad he finally left the anti-Semitism
to literally everybody else.
As if this wasn't all enough to be grateful for,
this year was also the beginning of the end for one
of humanity's worst inventions.
REPORTER: Elon Musk's X, formerly known as Twitter,
is bleeding major brands, who are at least temporarily
pulling their advertising.
Some ads for major brands appeared next to neo-Nazi hate
speech on X.
Ad revenue for X had already declined by 54% this year.
Musk himself acknowledges a new advertiser boycott
could bankrupt the company.
Yes.
Elon Musk did us all a favor and killed Twitter.
(SINGING) For he's a jolly good weirdo,
for he's a jolly good weirdo, for he's
a jolly good weirdo, can't wait till he dies on Mars.
[cheering, applause]
Wow.
Wow, I'm really a good singer.
Of course, 2023 was also special for us
at The Daily Show, where we did a whole year of guest hosts,
one week at a time, which was great
for me, because I never had to bother learning a host name.
Except for you, my main man.
[laughter]
Great to see you again, uh, pal.
Ha, ha!
Look, next year is going to be awful.
As bad as you think 2024 will be,
it's going to be worse than that.
So take a moment to appreciate the good things.
And remember, smiling is free.
Back to you, chief.
[cheering, applause]
Hey, thank you, Lewis!
Lewis Black, everyone.