Hey, I want to talk about something
that I think we all love--
reading.
I'm kidding.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
No, I want to talk about television.
It's like reading but without words and boredom.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
There's so much great TV out there, isn't there?
There's so many channels and there's so many good shows.
[APPLAUSE]
I don't know if you've watched--
Portia and I watched The Mare of Easttown, that was fantastic.
[APPLAUSE]
White Lotus, that was great.
[APPLAUSE]
Oh my God, Nine Perfect Strangers--
[APPLAUSE]
Only Murders in Our Building.
[APPLAUSE]
I've watched every true crime show on Netflix--
turns out it was right not to marry a man.
[APPLAUSE]
They're dangerous!
[CHEERS]
Yeah.
But then, so we're flipping through the channels
and because there are so many of them,
we stumbled upon the Game Show Network,
and I cannot stop watching Family Feud.
I am--
[APPLAUSE]
I-- I mean, all those other shows are great
but then you watch Family Feud-- you know,
hosted by Steve Harvey and his mustache, you know that one?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
It's so watchable, and then one show rolls into the next,
they don't even have commercials.
As soon as he goes, all right, that's it,
see you next time on The Feud and it goes bop bop bop bop--
it goes right into it.
And what I love about it is it's a very positive show.
I like positivity and everyone there--
even if the answer is completely wrong,
they're very, very positive.
The question could be name something
you put in your coffee and grandma will yell Montana!
And they're like, good answer, grandma!
Good answer!
Montana!
Good answer.
It's ridiculous.
I'll show you what I mean.
Here's a very confident, very wrong answer.
Anthony, give me a boy's name that starts with the letter H.
Jose.
[APPLAUSE]
Good answer.
Jose!
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
He even turned around, he knew he had it.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
That's not a good answer.
One of the best things about the show
is Steve Harvey's reactions, and you
know how bad the answer is based on how long he
stares into space.
For instance--
Name something that follows the word pork.
You pine.
Huh?
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
Huh?
[LAUGHS] You pine.
Porcupine!
Good answer!
OK?
Well, he wasn't wrong but he also wasn't right.
So when you're at home-- because we play along, Portia and I,
we play along and we try to guess.
And it's easy when you're at home,
but sometimes it puts you on-- the pressure,
you're on the spot, you say the first thing
that comes to your mind.
In this case, this guy did that.
Fill in the blank.
If it were up to me, I'd never blank again.
[BUZZER]
Cheat.
[LAUGHS]
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS UNEASILY]
Oh, boy.
Yeah.
So they were on Family Feud and Divorce Court on the same day.
Just went right over.
I love Family Feud so much it gave me an idea.
So I want to play that show on this show.
So Steve Harvey, please come host the show.
I want to challenge either Jimmy Kimmel or James Corden--
because they shoot their shows out here on the West Coast--
so we'll play against them and their staff against me
and my staff, and the winner gets bragging rights--
[APPLAUSE]
Yep.
So the winner gets bragging rights and the loser
has to end their talk show after this season.
[AUDIENCE LAUGHS]
So James, Jimmy, what's it going to be?
Whoever wants to get back to me first.
And I'm serious, call me or text me or-- don't email me,
but you can DM on Twitter or-- but not Instagram.
And not between 9 and 10, because that's
what I'm watching Family Feud.
All right, please welcome a member of my family--
and we never feud-- this is tWitch.