-Our next guest is
a talented actress you know
from films such as "The Age of Innocence"
and the "Harry Potter" franchise,
as well as the PBS series "Call the Midwife."
Her memoir, "This Much Is True," is available now.
Please welcome to the show Miriam Margolyes.
Hello, Miriam! How are you?
-Hello, Mr. Meyers. Nice to meet you.
-It is lovely to meet you as well.
I want to admit that I have sort of fallen in love with you,
not just for your work in film and television,
but I think you're one of the finest talk show guests
I've ever seen on Graham Norton's show,
so I feel as though you are on loan
from the Grand Norton Library and we appreciate it.
-Thank you for having me. He's a delightful gentleman
and I always enjoy going on his shows,
but I never know what I'm going to say,
and I've no idea what I'm going to say on your show.
-We would expect nothing less from you.
[ Laughter ]
So, now, this is a book that you wrote last year
when you were in Italy.
And what made you decide, at this point in your life,
to write a memoir like this?
-The main reason was because the publishers approached me
with a great deal of money. -Oh, okay.
[ Laughter ] -And, when you get to 80,
you don't know whether you're going to live much longer
and you might need carers, and carers costs money,
so I thought it's a good opportunity.
And I never wanted to write a book
because, if you tell the truth, you hurt people
and I don't like hurting people.
And I'm not interested
in celebrities and talking gossip.
That is not what I like.
I like real life and that's what I hope I put into my book.
But I put myself as well because that was the deal.
And, so far, it seems popular, selling well,
which is what interests me
[ Laughter ] and the publishers.
And I'm just astonished to be on an American program.
Because it's not on sale in America, yet.
It comes on sale in May, when I will be 81.
-Here's how not on sale it is.
This is a pretend book.
This is not your actual book.
-[ Laughs ]
-Alright, so I have another question for you.
Did you find it easy to write?
-Let me tell you the way we did it,
because it's rather clever.
We did it via Zoom, as we are doing now
and the publisher -- the editor, that is --
asked me lots and lots of questions.
I did about 40 interviews.
And then, they had it transcribed by a typist.
They sent me the transcription and I worked from that.
So, nobody wrote it for me.
I wouldn't have any ghostwriters.
I want it to be my authentic voice.
And it is.
And that's how I did it, because I can't remember things
that happened 40, 50, 60 years ago.
You know, they will concertina.
You can't remember things.
But I've had a full and interesting life
and I've enjoyed it very much.
As I said in my introduction,
I've slept with a curious variety of humans
-[ Laughs ] -and that sort of thing's
always of interest.
And I'm a voluble, left-wing lesbian
and I just tell it like it is.
That's what I want to do, anyway.
-I have read a tale that you, maybe, were one
of the first people in England to say a certain word
that you're not allowed to say on television.
-I regret to say that is true.
It was in "University Challenge,"
a quiz show for students, and I got an answer wrong.
And, of course, the expletive popped out of my mouth,
as it would almost anybody's, I think.
But, unfortunately, the cameras were on me,
so it was a clear indication that I was saying...
[ Mouths word ] [ Laughter ]
...and they beeped it out
and there it is.
It's not a distinction I'm fond of, but it did happen.
-Well, you've more than made up for it in the years since.
There's a wonderful story --
and there are many wonderful stories
about people you've met over the years,
but you had an interaction with the queen that --
-[ Laughs ] -is it safe to say,
if the queen wrote a book, you might not make it into hers?
-No, and I think she would be right to omit me
because I was very silly.
It was British Book Week.
Lots of people connected with the book trade
were invited to Buckingham Palace.
I was invited because I record books
and I wanted to meet the queen
and I asked how you get to see her,
because she was mingling with the crowd,
and the equerry said,
"Well, you just form a semi-circle and smile
and she'll, if she sees you,
she'll probably come towards you and have a conversation."
So, it's not easy to form a semi-circle on your own,
-[ Laughs ] -even when you're a rotund person, as I am.
But I found a friend and we semi-circled
and we put our faces into a rictus of a smile
-[ Laughs ] -and Her Majesty saw us.
And, amazingly, she came towards me and she said,
as she often does, you know, "And what do you do?"
And instead of saying, "Ma'am, I record books,"
I said -- I cringe as I tell you --
"Ma'am, I am the best reader of stories in the whole world."
[ Laughter ] And Her Majesty,
quite understandably, recoiled,
took a deep breath, raised her eyes to heaven,
and smartly moved to the next person.
And she said to him, "And what do you do?"
And he said, "Ma'am, I record --"
Well, he wasn't a recorder, actually.
He said, "I teach children to read
and we found that, if the letters are
in different colors, it absorbs,
the information is absorbed by the children
more quickly and easily."
I, standing next to him, said,
"My goodness! How fantastic!
[ Laughter ] I didn't know that."
And Her Majesty, incensed at my interruption,
turned back to me and said,
"Be quiet."
[ Laughter ]
The tea was very crisp.
[ Laughter ] And instead of being quiet,
I said, "Oh my goodness, Your Majesty, I'm so sorry.
I was carried away with excitement."
And she again raised her eyes to heaven,
moved slightly away,
started talking about something else.
I then interrupted her and said, "You see, Your Majesty,
we're so lucky to have English as our language.
We have Dickens, Keats, Shakespeare, Wordsworth."
And I went through the syllabus
and I could see, from her expression,
it was slightly glazing over, with terror, probably.
I said, "Imagine, for example, Your Majesty,
if we had been born --"
and I was searching for a nation with a small literature
and I came across Albanian [ Laughter ]
and, at that, she really did take fright,
clutched her handbag to her,
and tottered off, muttering, "Yes, yes."
[ Laughter ] Got away from me as fast as she could.
So, I'm ashamed of the incident, but,
now, I like telling the story
because I look such a complete idiot.
-Now, we don't have a queen in America,
but the closest thing we have might be Dolly Parton,
who you also were lucky enough to meet,
I believe, with Graham Norton.
-Yes. I love Dolly Parton.
I think she's absolutely the best sort of American.
And I got -- because I was in "Wicked" on Broadway --
the only time I've been on Broadway was in "Wicked" --
and Joe Mantello was directing
and he directed her in something and so, I asked him,
"Can you get me a seat for her concert?"
And he got me two seats.
I asked Graham to come with me and we were --
we were going to meet her afterwards.
There's this --
It's called meet and greet.
You probably know that, but I never heard of it before.
But, anyway, we were queuing in the great tunnel
underneath Wembley Stadium that leads to her dressing room
and I could feel this -- this fart
[ Laughter ] building and crescendoing inside me
and I was holding on to it as hard as I could.
But, finally, I just had to let it go.
You know, sometimes that happens.
-Yeah. -And I let it go.
And it was the longest, loudest,
not smelly, but very powerful fart.
[ Laughter ]
It stopped everybody in their tracks.
I was incredibly embarrassed.
Graham was reeling in shock.
But, eventually, we got to see Dolly,
and that was what counted.
She didn't know about it.
[ Laughter ]
-Your book is filled with wonderful
and incredibly colorfully told stories like this.
Congratulations on writing it and thank you so much
for making time for us today, Miriam.
-What a sweetie you are.
Thanks for having me.
-"This Much Is True" is on sale now
wherever you buy your books, but please support
local and independent bookstores.