get rid of procrastination forever keep watching this is life mastery gym I'm
Damon Cart and I teach people just like you cutting edge NLP processes so that
you can master your life and take charge of your destiny so if that sounds good
make sure you click the subscribe button so you can get these videos on a regular
basis in this video I'm going to give you three possible causes for
procrastination and what you can do about it now the first thing that I see
most often is people are more focused on what they don't want than what they do
want and so when you're doing something like exercise to lose weight to be
healthier as an example what I notice is people don't have a very compelling and
powerful vision about what they want they might just be thinking well I don't
want to gain more weight or I don't want to be heavy or I don't want to be
unhealthy and when you're focused on the negative on what I don't want and you
get clearer and clearer about that your unconscious doesn't really know the
difference between what you want then what you do want it what it does know
though is it wants to move you toward clarity and away from confusion and
chaos so when you're very clear and very focused on what you don't want your
unconscious is gonna keep taking you there and the other thing too is where
does motivation really come from well it comes from what you want it comes from
fulfilling the values of what it is that you want so if you want to be if you
want to lose 20 pounds or you want to make more money or you want to have more
friends so you wouldn't want to focus on things like well I don't want to be
lonely I don't want to be broke you want to be focusing on well what is it that I
want or what is it that would these things would give me so if I had more
money what would that do for me and go really deep with that or if I had more
friends if I had more connections what would that do for me and go really deep
with that and then create a vision out of that when you have a very very
compelling vision that will naturally motivate you but
it's very clear what you want your unconscious will naturally take you
there so get a very clear vision about what it is that you want and that will
focus your attention in the right direction it'll also make it very very
clear and it'll make it motivating and compelling and most people don't do this
when people come to me for coaching when I ask them what they want they usually
spit we usually spend the first 20 minutes getting clear about that because
they keep telling me what they don't want and that's part of the problem
you're not going to go very far if you if you can only think about what it is
you don't want so put it in the positive make a compelling vision about what it
is that you want and instantly you will get a lot more motivation to do that now
the second thing that I found very often is that people aren't very clear about
what they want versus what other people think they should want or what it is
maybe that is valued by the society they're living in or the culture that
they're living in so for example if you are not very athletic and you don't you
don't value that you don't you're not into sports and you put yourself around
a lot of people who are so maybe you grew up in a family who everybody's
really really into sports and you're just not you value health you value
being in good shape but you don't value it to that extent to that athleticism
but you think you should because that's which that's the kind of people you grew
up around and all you heard from then them was you should do this you should
be more athletic you should do more sports it can get confusing about what
really is your value in this and what is someone else's value that's being
imposed on you and so you'll see this in cultures you'll see this in society or
you'll see where you know somebody they want to make a decent amount of money
they want to make a decent living but it's more important for them to be happy
and really love the work that they're doing but they've been told since they
were a kid you should be a lawyer you should be a doctor and so they go do
that and then they wonder why they're not very successful as a doctor or a
lawyer and the same goes for any type of business
if you're just in it to do the work that makes you happy and make a decent living
those other things aren't going to be very important so of course you're not
going to be as successful if you're not if you're doing something that you don't
really enjoy this happened to me when I became an insurance agent and it wasn't
that there was a lot of pressure on me to become an insurance agent but that
was what my father had done it worked out very well for him and I just thought
I just want to I want that freedom I want that success I want that money but
I would happen was I traded out two of my other values passion and joy in the
hope of freedom well when I got into that job or when I got into that
business it was my own business it was not fulfilling it at all so not
surprisingly I wasn't very successful at it so not Alayne did I not get passion
and joy I also didn't get my freedom because I wasn't very successful at it
so these are the things we want to be careful about if I want something and
then I'm not very motivated toward it well maybe it's not really something
that I want or maybe the value is misplaced maybe the value that everybody
tells me that I there is the reason I should want this isn't really the reason
that I wanted and maybe I still want it maybe I still want it for another value
and I need to find out what that is and so I would recommend the same process of
asking yourself okay what does this do for me if I got it what would it do for
me what would be important about having this and really go deep with that and
you'll start to uncover what are your values separate from your culture from
where society you're living in or maybe even pressure from parents or extended
family so get clear about that get clear about what your values are and it's okay
to pursue something that are that is from that is linked to a value that's
outside of yourself as long as you understand that and and you understand
the motivation behind it if you understand that and you still want to
pursue it because you want to make other people happy
go ahead but understand that this might not be a value that really makes you
happy yourself and if you're only making other people happy and you're not making
yourself happy chances are you're not not only you're not doing well for your
life but you're also not being your for other people so it's really the best
thing to do is to really know what does it for you what are your values get very
clear about that and you will always be happy you will always be motivated
toward fulfilling your own values you know what you value in life therefore in
that itself is the motivation for forgetting it for doing it so for
example if I value helping people and that makes me happy
those are two values right there helping people and being happy I don't have to
look for the motivation to do that that's the motivation is built into it
it makes me happy to do it so of course I'm going to do it think of the things
that make you happy do you need motivation to do those things no are you
going to procrastinate and doing those things absolutely not
and so there are some things that we do have to do that maybe we don't enjoy but
we can look at those things as being connected to higher values so maybe I'm
working toward something bigger I'm going to school and I'm working toward a
particular profession that I do value I do enjoy but until I get there I have to
work a kind of a crappy job that I don't like well which you can attach to that
crappy job well first of all know that it's temporary and then put it in
alignment with well through this process of working this crappy job to put myself
through school I then get to do what I value most and so when you align that to
the value when you align the crappy job to the value then it becomes something
different then you become motivated to do it the same thing goes with eating
healthy and exercising if you know how it's going to make you feel and you
value how being healthy makes you feel and you value the way that your body
looks and you value that you want to live a long and healthy life especially
for your family your kids your spouse then you align the behavior eating right
and exercising to those values and when you do that the motivation is implicit
you will naturally do these things without procrastinating because they're
linked to your highest values now the third thing that can be happening when
you're procrastinating is you're getting your values
or there's a misunderstanding there and this happens a lot because we have parts
of us that might have gotten isolated from the rest of us when we make certain
decisions when we were kids so something happens and when I said the reason why I
say when every kid it can happen when you're an ADD doll - but what happens a
lot of times when we're a kid and we make a decision about something it often
goes unconscious and so we don't remember making this decision we don't
remember pursuing this value but what happens is is usually in childhood
something happens and you say to yourself well you know I definitely
don't want this to happen again because it was painful or it hurt and so you
make a choice and you say okay I'm gonna go in this direction or I'm going to be
I'm gonna be lazy when somebody pressures me to do something because
that's what makes me feel good and I don't like what this other person is
pressuring me to do and so that might be a way of pushing back and this value
could be that you're standing up for yourself and the strategy for it is to
be lazy and not do your work so this this sounds very childish but again this
is where a lot of this stuff happens early in childhood and so later in life
when your parents aren't there or the pressure isn't there from some sort of
authority figure and your parenting yourself you can then get into this
back-and-forth within within you you have a parent part of you and you have a
child part of you and they're going back and forth now what do you do with this
well what really needs to happen is you need to integrate these two parts of you
so that you can become the adult you are and know that okay if I if I'm not doing
the work I know I need to do well I'm also the adult and I'm the child so who
am i hurting here who am i standing up for here who am i pushing back against
here we're all one in the same person and this is what we call an NLP parts
integration so what you want to do is when you feel like you're
procrastinating and you've done the first two processes that I mentioned
you're very clear about what you want you know the values behind what you want
you are aligning the behavior to the values and
still there's still this procrastination and you're not sure where it's coming
from within would you want to do is you want to go to that part of you that is
resisting doing whatever it is that you want to do and ask it say you know what
is your positive intent and another word for positive intent is value but ask
that part of you welcome that part of you don't shun it don't like people come
to me so I just want to get rid of this part of you well this is a part of you
that's like saying you know my hand brings bad food to my mouth and and then
I eat it so I want to get rid of my hand that would not make any sense at all so
your inner parts work the same way so you want to go to that part welcomed it
acknowledge that this is a part of you acknowledge that this is a part of you
that is doing something good for you or that is its intent as positive for you
and that it probably made a decision when you were a child to do whatever it
is that you're you're doing and now you need to update this now you need to let
this part of you know how old you are now and that things are different you're
not being pushed around you're not being parented anymore you're an adult and
then ask the part of you what is this positive intent for you and what is this
positive intent and resisting another way you could ask it is what is its
message for you what does it want you to know by resisting doing whatever it is
that you want to do and then you listen and it doesn't always come out as a
message you know like a voice or anything like that and another thing
that will probably happen is your conscious mind always wants to fill in
gaps you ask a question the conscious mind wants to jump in and give an answer
and so go ahead and let your conscious mind do that let your conscious mind
jump in with an answer and then keep waiting and keep listening your
unconscious will bring you an answer and when it does you might need to question
it further and what will that do for you and what will that do for your what's
important about that and go a little bit deeper and really find what is it what
is that value behind the resistance and once you know what that value is most of
the time that in itself makes it able to integrate and to overall your overall
values of what it is you're trying to do because your highest values don't
conflict your highest values will fit together perfectly
because that's what your every one of your decisions is driven by the value
and all of those values are driven to integrate with each other so that you
become one whole human being functioning as a whole human being all together so
it's like you probably heard the saying I think it was by rooming that all drops
of water want to go back to the ocean like the the mother of all water and
your parts are the same way you know all your parts want to integrate back into
who you are so get go get friendly with this part of
you that's resisting if I know what its value is in resisting and then find out
you know ask you say you know well this is the value that I'm trying to get and
doing this would you help out in this this area how you know what kind of job
could I give you and maybe you come you find the creative part of yourself and
you fuck you ask the creative part of yourself how can we integrate all of
this how can we use this with this value this part of me is intending and give it
a job to work with everything else now that's kind of a vague way of talking
about it because there's a few different ways of actually doing that as a process
as an NLP process one of them is called the visual squash but another way of
doing this is through the self-concept model Steve Andreia says self-concept
model it's a very elegant way it's a little more involved but this is a very
elegant way of conflict integration and by learning what your values are by
understanding what that is by understanding what's resisting what what
you are overall trying to do you can then begin the process of integration
and that's ultimately what we want for ourselves is to be fully integrate and
when you're fully integrated procrastination no longer is a problem I
get people saying to me all the time like I just don't understand how you get
so much done or you do so much and it's not that I don't procrastinate from time
to time I do but I know what that's about a lot of times procrastination is
for me is a part of me saying you need to take a break like you can only get so
much done you only have so much capacity if you wear yourself too thin then
you're not going to be good and everything else that you're doing you're
just gonna be tired through the whole thing so a lot of my procrastination is
I take and it's often correct as a part of me saying you need to relax you need
to take a break you need to recuperate and so when you're the more you
integrate the more that will be the only time that you procrastinate is when you
need to take a break because otherwise you have lots of energy
the fewer conflicts you have the more energy you're going to have the more
integrated you are the more efficient you become at getting things done so now
you know a lot more about how to overcome procrastination it has to do
with knowing yourself a lot better so what you have now is an understanding of
how to clear that path and how to go after what it is that you want but what
you don't have is a better understanding of what are the healthy elements of a
self-concept or what are the elements of a healthy self-concept this is super
super important so what I've created is a free pdf where I give you basically a
checklist of all of the elements of a healthy self-concept and you'll be able
to access that immediately when you go to the link that's in the description
also you'll see there's a pin comment at the top and there's a link there you
just click on one of those links and it will bring you to it you can get
immediate access to this checklist and I urge you to do that because the more
healthy you are the less you will procrastinate the more you're connected
you will be with your own values not other people's values and in doing so
you will be much much more motivated if you liked this video make sure you click
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you