heal your brain from porn timeline i'm dr trish leigh let's break it down together
how long will it take for your brain to heal from porn use that is what we are talking about in
this video i am going to first and foremost break down the three stages of a porn brain reboot and
how you can know you're in each stage and how you can know you're moving between them
and stay tuned until the last stage because the last stage incorporates the four phases
of brain healing in a porn brain reboot so let's dig in stage number one in a porn brain reboot how
long is it first of all stage one is going from zero percent to one hundred percent commitment how
long does that take it takes anywhere between one second and a lifetime yep you heard it
one second to a lifetime but unfortunately so many people get stuck in this stage
for a very long time and if that's you if you've been struggling with leaving porn behind
i'm here to tell you it's because you're not fully committed so when you get fully
committed you'll know and i'm going to tell you how in just a second but when you linger in that
still wanting it still needing it not totally sure it's bad for you haven't filled the void
in your life that it right now consumes you will not be able to get fully committed
so when you get fully committed this is how you know first of all you have a mental shift
inside you can feel that you now want this you want this for you it's not that you want it
because you're going to be in trouble with someone it's not that you want it because
your work is slipping and people are noticing it is because you want to leave it behind so that
you can become a better version of yourself you can taste the victory on the other side
and you have a goal of it and you know it might be challenging but you're ready to go for it you are
literally there's no guessing so when that happens and you have this mental shift on the inside then
you won't have slips or relapses anymore you will move through to the next stage of a porn brain
reboot and you will buckle down and you will be excited to do the work that needs to be done not
that you will enjoy a struggle if there is one for you but you are ready for it and you can endure it
and you're going to create the structure in the discipline and develop the resilience that
you need to be able to move into stage two now once you get 100 committed and
again it can take one second but it also can take a lifetime and for many people it takes
years so if you've tried other methods it might just be because you're not all the way committed
now let's say you are all the way committed and you move into phase two how long does it take it
takes 90 days to unwire the brain pattern that is pushing you back into the screen
we know the screen pulls you but it takes 90 days so how do you accomplish it in 90 days you have
a plan you need the plan to be able to start working it if you don't have a plan then you
also can't be successful so you might get 100 committed but not know the right things to do so
what you need is number one new knowledge you can't solve the problem in the box if you're still
in the box you have to get outside of the box learn what you don't know and then
get back in and take action steps and do the work so it's two things in stage two it is
new knowledge and action steps you can't just learn what you need to do self-awareness is great
when we create self-awareness we're like okay now i know what i need to do but then you need a very
clear action step to go do and for me i like to take concepts and make them into a tangible action
step when i'm coaching people we always have three to five action steps so i'll take this thing that
they're struggling with and it's a concept it's just this idea and i'll say okay here's the idea
now let's put this into an action step that you can actually go use in your life
minute by minute day by day that's how you move forward you need a plan that's why in these videos
i try always to give you new knowledge and an action step that you can build off of that new
knowledge so when you get done watching a video you don't just go on to the next video you go back
into your life and you use the action step the brain tip strategy that i've given you at the end
of the video that's how you're going to succeed so make sure you look for those brain tip strategies
those action steps and go do them they will in fact help you okay so when you're in stage two
it can be 90 days literally 90 days for you to succeed but you also need the proper support
that's why i'm here for you to give you it in these videos you need someone to tell you in fact
you can do this i know it's challenging but i also know that you're stronger than you know you are
i know you can do it if you want it you need to want it want it bad 100 then you need your plan
with your new knowledge and your action steps and you need support and i'm a great support here in
these videos but obviously people in real life are better support i'm here to support you in real
life if that's something that you want if not look for a coach look for a therapist tell somebody in
your world tell your brother your friend your partner when you are no longer in this alone
it comes out of the dark into the light and it may be a struggle for you because this hijacker
as i call it has literally hijacked your brain you are sometimes no longer the same person
that you can and deserve to be your brain is literally controlled by the compulsive nature of
porn use it's pushed back in the screen pulls you and your brain pushes you because
it's been conditioned to go to the screen for dopamine for dopamine hit to feel okay
so when you're at your less sane moments you need someone to say dude you're not that sane right now
this is what we need to do stay with me here let's have some tea stay with me let's move through this
time until your sanity returns so that's gonna move us into what happens in those first 90 days
we're still in stage two what happens in those first 90 days and this is how you know you're
there is that your brain will move through the addictive cycle of pornography consumption there
is a cycle for every single person and you've been moving through it either knowingly or unknowingly
since you started consuming and the cycle goes like this this is the short version but i've
talked about it in other videos at the top of the cycle is a trigger or a stressor or boredom
and your brain goes hmm i think we should watch some porn because that would feel good for us
then the minute you think that and you are you buy into that idea that insane idea when you buy
in you go yeah that is a good idea hijacker what happens is you start get getting dopamine dripping
or if your hijacker goes i've got an idea let's go on instagram or social media
that hijacker is tricking you he's tricking you into the slippery slope moving you back to porn
so if that's been happening before that's going to happen now in these first 90 days but you're
not going to react in the same way you're going to respond in an intentional way using your plan
your new knowledge and your action steps and now you're gonna say okay i'm being triggered
i am not going towards a screen i'm going towards my healthy dopamine producing activity
i'm going towards my pivot plan the thing that i know that i'm going to do instead and now you get
over the craving or the urge and now you don't act out which is down towards the bottom of the cycle
instead of acting out now you have a success if you were to act out what happens is now at
the bottom of the cycle you feel guilt and guilt moves to shame shame moves you towards the trigger
which reactivates the cycle but if you succeed and you don't give in to the urge because now you're
100 committed and you have a plan and you are going to buckle down and move through this cycle
now you succeed and you get a small win and your brain gets a smaller dopamine hit
but guess what it produces dignity and integrity and when it produces dignity and integrity
you can move back through the cycle and guess what's going to happen you're probably going to
be triggered again and the cycle will continue but if you don't act out in the cycle it starts
to loosen its grip on you that's what the 90 days are designed for so that the cycle and
the hijacker loosen the grip and you get a grip on it through your small wins and when you do
through that 90 days you learn to control your brain and your brain is no longer controlled
by porn that's the second stage 90 days now we move into stage 3 how long does stage 3 take
it can take anywhere from one year to three years and that's a small time frame in your life i know
it might seem like an eternity me telling you three years but if you can get that sobriety and
and break that cycle in the first 90 days it's no longer the same it's no longer it doesn't have to
hold on you that it used to and that's going to move me to the four phases of healing that will
happen in stage three anywhere from one year to three years and you know how healing works
the more things that you do that the more positive things you do if you're trying to heal the shorter
the healing time frame and as i was putting this video together i was thinking about my
time when i had covid and these are it's going to lead us into the phases but when i got covered i
was super sick for one week literally could not even get out of my bed for one week that's the
acute phase and i'm gonna break down these phases in a second but then then i could get out of my
bed but i could literally only go a few steps to my couch and that happened for a week but then
i could go from my bed to my couch and i could actually make it into the kitchen in week three
then slowly day by day i could get a little further and my husband would say let's go for
a walk and i'm like dude i literally can't go for a walk and i would call it covet shaming because
he was like let's go for a walk you need to it'll be good for you i'm like i just can't yet but as
soon as i could i'd start taking little walks to get my nervous system get my blood flowing
and it took me um it took me over a month it was almost two months before i actually felt
remotely decent and it took about three or four months for me to fully come back from it so those
are the phases it doesn't happen overnight so that will happen within the year or if
it can take longer up to three years but the more positive things that you do like i took vitamin d
i didn't eat any junk i took a lot of supplements i rested all the time more than i wanted to
in those phases when i could have probably pushed myself more but i i continued to rest
i did all the positive things for healing okay so in this stage three there's four phases of healing
and this is based on the four phases of healing a wound because this is a wound to your brain
we know that pornography consumption literally damages your brain it damages
your brain structurally it damages your brain functionally and it's easy to think about these
four phases okay number one is hemostasis which literally means stopping the bleeding
you must stop the bleeding before your brain can heal that's why it's important to not slip
and to not have relapses because every time you have a slip or a relapse you are in fact opening
the wound again so you have to close that wound before you can move to the second phase of healing
to stop the bleeding you must stop watching pornography it's just a must every time you
go back you are in fact just opening that wound a little bit and it will take it take you longer and
longer and longer to heal so so hear that that's why you got to get committed and and you have to
use those 90 days to really break the cycle so that then you can stop the bleeding the bleeding
stopped and after the bleeding is stopped phase number two is inflammation in in healing a wound
inflammation is you know you've had it before if you've ever gotten hurt where your body swells up
in the swelling what's happening is your body's resources are moving towards that area to protect
it from infection and to protect it so that it can move to the next phase of healing so it's ready to
move on to phase three which is proliferation proliferation means your cells are proliferating
they are making many new ones and for our purposes we can literally think of it as neurogenesis
the creation of new nerve cells in the brain and especially the creation of new neural pathways
in the brain so we must stop the bleeding protect that wound so it doesn't open up again
that's going to be your 90 days and then we're going to move to proliferation where we're going
to create new things to keep the healing going in this phase you build the structure
from the plan that you've learned in the 90 days you build a flexibly scheduled life that no longer
needs pornography because it is serving you in every way that you need and at the same time
you've also healed the trauma from the past that might have been driving you back into the screen
you've rewired your brain so that it is healthier it's using the optimal electrical energy pattern
and it no longer needs to be calmed and stimulated so now you're doing new things you're
proliferating you are growing you're changing you're improving so what that does is it moves
us into phase four remodeling and this is what i call hardwiring so now that we've set up this
structured life that can create new and wonderful things for you now we have to make sure we remodel
all the pieces so that this is the life that will continue to serve you over time at the same time
through phase 2 and it through stage 2 the 90 days in stage 3 these four phases of healing that might
take one to three years you've also learned how to continually evaluate your life so that if anything
comes your way aka you're triggered again you not only have the structure but you also have the
knowledge and the wherewithal and the resilience to be able to do what you need to do to handle
the trigger and to make healthy decisions you're smarter you're stronger you're wiser you're more
prepared that's what happens over this one to three years and again the more things you do at
the outset the shorter the time frame of healing overall okay so your brain tip for this video is
get committed do what you need to do for every person out there there's a different thing that
gets them committed sometimes it's their families sometimes it's their partners sometimes it's your
work sometimes it's the vision of you in the future being being that full potential
aspect of yourself that's thriving sometimes it's just the sheer moral incongruency of
the pornography that you're consuming or sometimes people learn about human trafficking
in the pornography industry and that's a big red flag for them that they are not going back to
videos that exploit human beings sometimes it's the fact that they realize you realize that the
porn industry is taking advantage of you and you won't be victimized by it anymore you gain your
strength and you say no way man i'm not like gonna let that industry take advantage of me no way man
i'm gonna become healthy and i'm going to control my own brain sometimes that's a motivator find
your motivator then once you're committed get into stage two find a program that fits you and serves
you i offer programs on my website drishley.com but if those aren't the programs for you keep
looking find a coach find someone interview some people get into a program spend some time it is
essential that you get new knowledge new tools new strategies new action steps and that you have
the support that you need to move through those 90 days to break the cycle so that you can move
into the third stage one to three years of moving through learning how to stop the bleeding learning
how to protect yourself so that you no longer open that wound learning how to populate new skills
do new things heal your brain create new brain cells create new neural pathways and
then hardwire them in for long-term success and if you engage yourself in these three stages you
will evolve there's no way you won't and when you evolve you will move towards the goal that you set
you'll leave porn behind your brain will heal itself any of the symptoms that you
are experiencing in your body like delayed ejaculation like erectile dysfunction like anxiety
depression social anxiety is a really big one health anxieties any challenges
that you have with your thinking with your mental health and with your physical body
they will heal but not until that third stage one to three years usually is when you can count on it
and then you will be exactly what you want and deserve to be and where you want and deserve to be
and i'd love to be part of that if it feels good go check out drtrishleigh.com but even if
you don't do that find a program that serves you because i want you to succeed and i know you can
okay until next time control your brain or it'll control you