Do you want to know what a narcissist's most potent weapon is? It's not what you think.
Watch till the end of this video and find out exactly what it is
so that you can maybe use the back against them.
Hi, I'm Rebecca Zung. And if you haven't met me before on my channel, I have been recognized as
one of the top 1% of attorneys in the country by US News. I've also written a couple of bestselling
books, Negotiate Like YOU M.A.T.T.E.R, and Breaking Free: A Step-by-Step Divorce Guide.
And most importantly, what I do here for you on this channel is I have helped millions of people
get out of relationships with narcissists. I specialize in negotiating with narcissists,
teaching you the step-by-step information guide, resources, everything that you need to
understand how to get out of these relationships so that you can break free and create a new life,
and a new beginning, and a new future. If that all sounds good to you, make sure that you subscribe
and hit the notification bell so that you don't miss one single bit of information.
Because when you're dealing with a narcissist, you are in the fight of your life. It's like
their mission is to take you down, especially once you've hit and gotten into the discard phase. If
you don't know much about the relationship phases for a narcissist, it starts off with love bombing,
and then it goes into devaluing, and then down to discarding. But devaluing can also be happening
while they're loved bombing. They can be loved bombing during the discard phase too. It's
starts with love bombing, ends with discard, toxic stew and between for sure.
They use a number of different weapons on you, of course. Gaslighting is one of them.
If you want to know what phrases they use when they're gas lighting, make sure you check out my
video on phrases that narcissists use when they're gaslighting. But gaslighting is certainly one of
the things, they can directly be devaluing you, they can use passive aggression. Depends on the
type of narcissist that you're dealing with. Covert narcissists tend to be a little bit
under the radar, they tend to look a little bit more nice and kind to the whole outside world.
The over or grandiose narcissists are a little bit easier to spot,
because they're the ones that are out there telling everybody how great they are all the time.
But all narcissists have these different traits that they employ to basically cover up the fact
that they have a very fragile ego. They actually have a very, very fragile sense of self. They were
emotionally starved at some point in their lives, and so they feel that in order to
live, to survive, they're desperate to get as much attention and supply as they possibly can.
That's why they crave conflict. And if you want to know more about why narcissists crave conflict,
check out my video on Why Narcissists Crave Conflict. But everything they do is in this
effort to try to get as much supply as they possibly can. You have to think of it as a hungry
lion, or tiger, or something out in the terrain in a Serengeti and they're starving. So they're just
trying to get whatever they can to serve, to feed that ego, and that's called narcissistic supply.
And yes, they can get supply from compliments, and adulation, and prestige, and attention from
as many people as possible. They also get narcissistic supply from making you miserable,
seeing you squirm, devaluing you, controlling you, that feeds their ego as well. So it's
all these different paths that lead back to one place. So they come off as, "I'm entitled." And,
"I'm the best." And, "I should have all of these things." And, "You're less than I am." And they
come off in that way, but they also are very scared little creatures inside. They're very
afraid of what will happen if they get exposed. And if you think that their behavior is so
disgusting, give me a disgusting in the comments. Narcissist go along in their life just trying to
grab as much supply as they can and trying to get as much attention as they possibly can, because
even negative attention is attention and it's all to cover up the fact that they have an inability
to form intimate relationships. They have a complete inability to really care about anybody
else. And depending on the level of narcissism, they don't even really try to cover that up.
They just don't even realize that they're just not showing care to a person. Some narcissists
can at least make it look like they care, because they know that the right thing to do is to ask how
somebody is. Or if they see everybody else caring about, then they want to get on that train and be
the most caring of that person so that everybody else can see how caring they are. I've seen
situations where narcissists ... Like somebody has cancer, so they're the ones that are right there
doing all these things because they want everybody else to see. If there's no audience, then there's
no reason to do it from their perspective. They have all of these things that they're doing,
but in some ways ... and here it is, their most potent weapon is I think their magical thinking.
Their ability to just not see what they're doing, to just not look at the path of destruction that
they have behind them as they're going, to just not see what's really going on. To basically be
in their own reality about the world, about life, about what's happening with people.
Not see the hurt that they've caused and the pain that they've caused. They just literally
have this ability to just not see it and just keep going.
The problem with that is ... and I'm going to tell you this right now, their most potent weapon is
also their biggest Achilles heel. If you want to know more about the narcissist's Achilles heel,
check out my video on the Narcissist's Achilles Heel. But their biggest Achilles heel is also
that they are feeling very small inside and they're actually very weak, and you can expose
them. And it eventually becomes their undoing. I know that you think that they think that
they're the smartest person in the room, the strongest person in the room, they always win,
they always get what they want. I've been a lawyer for a very long time, I've represented people in
all types of divorces. The high net worth divorce is the most, most, most contentious of divorces
with the most flaming of narcissists, and I've been there where I've seen this spouse come
into my office and say, "You'll never win. You'll never be able to get what you want."
The other person always wins, they always get away with it. I never can shift this dynamic,
and I've shifted that dynamic for them. I've helped them get where they want to go,
because I understand this concept. I know that they eventually, if you give them enough rope,
they will hang themselves. They will self-destruct, I promise you that. So yes,
it's their most potent weapon that they can magically think and just keep going on no matter
what destruction they cause, but they will end up self-destructing. It will explode on them at some
point. Especially if you create enough leverage, and you surround them, and you create the strategy
that you need to, to put them in a choke hold so that you can get what you want and they'll finally
relent and agree. That's what I teach in my Slay program, and that's the crux of the
most important thing that you need to understand is that you can shift this dynamic. It can happen.
So if you're ready to be empowered, and move forward, and start to actually see movement
so that you can get a fair result, make sure that you download my free Crush My Negotiation prep
Worksheet at winmynegotiation.com. It's an ebook. People have actually won entire negotiations on
it, and it's free. So go ahead and grab that. If you want more support, come join me in my free
private Facebook group. People have found lifelines in there. It's called Narcissist
Negotiators with Rebecca Zung. And if you like this video, give it a like, give it a share, drop
me a comment, and make sure that you've subscribed and you hit that notification bell. I am so
committed to you and getting you the information that you need so that you can finally feel strong
enough and powerful enough to break free from these relationships. Make sure you subscribe
and hit that notification bell. I'm Rebecca Zung, thanks so much for stopping by today. Remember,
today's a great day to start negotiating your best life. I'll see you in the next video.